Nobody likes my greying hair!

[Sidebeforeself]

Decided to embrace my natural grey ( for many reasons!) Im entering that really tricky stage where I have a big stripe so feeling self conscious but know I have to grin and bear it. But what’s not helping is how many negative comments Im getting from friends and family. Things like Im too young to do it (54) , it’s not professional for work etc. I know DH not keen .

I realise other opinions don’t matter but when I m feeling self conscious it would be nice to get a bit of support. Did anyone else experience this?

I think my hair is only one aspect of the way I look and how I come across to others, so I don't think people look at my hair and work out how old I look based solely on that. I'm sure if I was less active, overweight, didn't spend money on a good hairdresser and dressed differently, then the overall impression might be of being older. I don't think if I dyed my hair it would knock years off me, but I also don't think having grey in my hair makes me look older than I am.

My husband is the same age as me, and also has grey hair. I am the only one who has had comments. Would anyone suggest that a 52yo man with grey hair looked unprofessional?

They don’t like it but they’re not the ones dyeing it for you … every couple of weeks forever and ever and ever. My scalp used to burn like mad but I felt I had no alternative.

The grow out phase is the hardest. A few years after growing mine out I seem to have less grey, well it certainly looks that way now I don’t have the stripe. Stick with it.

If not now, when?

any age under 70 they’ll tell you you’re too young.
and then even after 70 it’ll attract comments and mirth - oh she’s finally admitted defeat ha ha do funny seeing her with grey hair now.

Obviously all this only applies to women.

I started going grey mid to late 40's and I looked like a skunk with a wonderfully wide dark parting but it soon grew out, I'd bleached my hair it blond, I used to take the mick out of myself reasoning that if I got in first it would take the wind out of their sails.
I love my grey hair it's colour changes depending on the time of the year in spring it starts lightening up in summer its silver and in the autumn it starts going a darker grey and in the winter it a dark gun metal and I get shed loads of compliments Enjoy your grey hair as long as you like it that, in my opinion, is all that matters

It was a bit depressing at first when people (friends) said things like ‘you need to dye your hair’ but I told them they should say it to their husbands instead. The world won’t get better for our daughters and granddaughters unless we make it better. These expectations are so oppressive.

My friend has gone grey. I hate it, as do others in our group. It washes her out, makes her whey faced and she was extremely attractive. If I’m honest, I don’t understand her sudden lack of vanity.

Would I say it to her? No. She is happy with it and that’s all that matters.

What's wrong with aging?

Thanks everyone for your positive comments. @DappledThings I can assure you Im not lying. V boring thing to make up.

I started going grey at 19 . So sick of dyeing it so Im not going to faff with highlights etc. I have to stick it out somehow

Should I start with purple shampoo now?

I'm not sure why you think being overweight would make you look older - these kind of judgemental comments are just as inappropriate as those related to grey hair being 'ageing'. Women of all ages, shapes and sizes can look fabulous.

If you look on Instagram lots of stylists do this. The results are beautiful, grey hair looks good especially when it’s in a flattering style. It absolutely does look professional

Went grey a couple of years ago now and absolutely love it. Don’t care what other people think!

go for it, tbh as others have said it’s been a positive outcome of the pandemic. I really hope it becomes more and more the norm over the next few years

How horrible that you and others in your ‘group’ are so bitchy

@DietrichandDiMaggio I think being slightly overweight can make you look a bit younger actually. Pads out any lines and gives a bit more of a glow. Slim older women tend to look more haggard. Most women I know with lovely skin are slightly overweight.

Yes it did it in my late 30s with zero support. A decade later and I love it and people have stopped sharing their opinions. I think most people have come round but honestly I just don't care any more.

This! ^ And I think the OP's husband is entitled to not like it if he has known her/been with her for 30+ years and it's always been mousy or brown (not sure what OP's hair colour is as she has not said.)

Women on here are happy to say they hate their partner's beard, so the OP's husband can say he doesn't like her grey hair. Your life partner has a right to an opinion on you changing how you look. Even so, if the OP wants to let it go grey then crack on. Odd for people to comment about it being unprofessional though. Maybe they think it looks a mess? I don't know. (With mixed colours/neither one colour or another?) I would have to see it to give a proper opinion.

I am mid-late 50s, and my natural hair colour is dark blonde. Only just started to go grey at the temples in my mid 50s. Going grey at a much older age is common in my family. I just dye my hair blonde every 2 months and the roots get done with it. I won't be going grey any time soon.

I know a number of women in their 70s and 80s, and a few in their 90s, who still keep their hair blonde, or mousy. Refuse to go grey. Good for them! I am sick of women being slated (especially on here) for having the audacity to not want to show their grey hair, and the women who show the grey as young as 40 are considered better people/empowered/stronger.

It's misogyny. It's no better than slating women for having lip filler - or false eyelashes and false nails. Let women do what they want, and stop shaming them for wanting to dye their hair and keep the grey at bay, (whilst celebrating the women going grey - like they're some kind of hero!) Trying to make women feel bad for hiding the grey, with the guilt-tripping trope 'be grateful you are ageing, some people don't get that privilege!' is manipulative and cruel. Just stop it already!

Stick with it, I’m 6months in the stripe was the hardest. I’m 45yrs of always coloured my hair golden brown. Now the roots are at my ears. I use purple hair mask. It does take time.

Well I bloody hated my hair grey. Took a while for the initial excitement - followed swiftly by cognitive dissonance - to wear off, after which I realised I looked older and dowdy. Nope!

Partner has lovely hair, and a gorgeous grey stripe, that her hairdresser loves almost as much as me. Gets the whole stick from the family, which include older generations that look as if they are wearing a wig with their chestnut colourings. The non-natural colours and blondes look far more out of place to me than the natural grey. But each their own. My Mum pours enough black on her head that she could look to be auditioning for a part in the Addams family - I'm sure she would look better grey rather than Alice Cooper.

The badger stripe phase is the worst until you can rock your natural grey. The advice I was given and took (while going from baaad bleached highlight job to natural grey) was to use a semi permanent box dye for a few months while until the highlights grew out and could be cut off.

I did mine about 5 years ago, before Covid so I know what its like to live with the badger stripe .
I made sure that I had regular cuts so it didn't look like I'd 'let myself go' and I also used Bumble and Bumble colour stick on the grey roots that were visible. It was great as it washes out. I know there are other similar products that help too while that stage is going on.

I once knew a ninetysomething woman who kept her hair dark brown. She looked fabulous.

@Mohur can you recommend a good semi permanent or glaze please

Agree.