Nobody likes my greying hair!

[Sidebeforeself]

Decided to embrace my natural grey ( for many reasons!) Im entering that really tricky stage where I have a big stripe so feeling self conscious but know I have to grin and bear it. But what’s not helping is how many negative comments Im getting from friends and family. Things like Im too young to do it (54) , it’s not professional for work etc. I know DH not keen .

I realise other opinions don’t matter but when I m feeling self conscious it would be nice to get a bit of support. Did anyone else experience this?

Nor do I

It was always stressful and expensive and then the root line after 3 weeks

I don’t think grey hair is necessarily aging but the growing out phase is never pretty, imo - 2 inches of grey roots followed by the remnants of months old dye is just horrendous.

If it was me, I’d have my hairdresser get rid of the current colour and add some grey highlights and lowlights to blend with the natural hair for a more seamless transition.

I let my hair go grey during lockdowns. It is now pure white and I love it.
Lots of TV celebs who still reach for the dye bottle and thanks to HD TV it looks so ageing.
My hairdresser pointed out that lots of younger people are asking for variations of grey.

I loved my natural very dark brown and had never wanted to colour it until it started to develop had an uneven badger look of greying front and dark back. Found a great colourist who blended some dark in naturally, then later changed tactics and moved to a combination of highlights and low lights of a dark blonde which I loved for several years.

Then eventually found it just wasn’t lasting as well and didn’t look as good. I was losing patience with the increasing frequency and less impressive result ( the ‘pissing into the wind’ referred to by this poster ) when Covid hit and, along with other friends, decided to go cold turkey.

Love, love, love it - I’d got used to the lighter tone around my face from the blonde days, but natural silvery grey suits my complexion so much better. A good cut is vital - I wear it long enough to tuck behind my ears and with light layers so that I get volume without too much curl : straggly grey is harder to pull off than messy blond, iyswim. It’s so much healthier and shinier in its natural state.

Me I'm 65. Started going grey 5 years ago.. Used to have it highlighted blonde/ caramel.. but sitting ages at the hairdressers wasn't good for my disabilities..
I use Provoke touch of silver shampoo and conditioner ( usually used to stop died blonde hair going brassy)
. But it does help when you're turning Grey.

Grey hair is definitely aging and not flattering on most but as long as you like it who cares. Do what makes you happy. I'll be dying mine until I'm dead or physically unable to but I don't notice or care what others do with theirs.

Have you thought about getting your coloured hair dyed grey so you don’t have the line of old and new colour? Then it’s very much a statement that you are now a person with grey hair so stop with all the comments.

I stopped dying my hair (very dark brown) when I turned 50. Two years on only the very ends are 'dyed' but will be snipped off soon. I've been using the Pantene Brown shampoo and conditioner and it very gently takes the glare of the grey, allowing it to grow out with 'highlights' instead of the stripe. Fades away as soon as you wash your hair a couple of times with normal shampoo.

I had light highlights to blend in the grey then eventually grew it out and absolutely hated it. Went back to dying it. Other people said they liked it but I did think it suited me at all. It's your husband your choice although difficult if everyone around you is being negative

I've got a lot of grey hair. I'm 55. Literally nobody at work has ever guessed how old I am - usually think I'm 10-15 years younger. To suggest its unprofessional is seriously out of order! God, our society is so misogynistic. Fuck 'em, seriously. Embrace your natural hair & natural process of aging, & gaining wisdom over the superficial sexists!

Tell them to bog off. Grey hair is in much better condition than dyed hair.

Then you'll be an old woman with dyed hair, which is obviously fine, but when you're 80 it won't make you look younger than the other 80 year olds with grey hair.

I think dyed hair on older people is actually aging. Maybe its psychological because its obvious they are older than theu are trying to look.

I’ve tried a few times to go grey and I literally dyed mine after over a year last week.

I like the idea but it just doesn’t look good enough yet. I have very dark hair and two stripes that look like horns when I pull it back.

I think once you have a good amount through the whole head of hair it looks good but when it’s patchy it looks a bit unkempt.

However it’s entirely up to you obviously and if you like it then fab - keep it.

As to the ageing comments, I stopped dying mine 9 years ago and am now mid 50s, colleagues have been surprised to learn my age as they thought I was mid-late 40s, but I'm sure if I still dyed it dark brown they wouldn't think I was only 40.

@SharonEllis

Mil at over 80 still dyes her hair and it is awful. Really bright

But what’s not helping is how many negative comments Im getting from friends and family. Things like Im too young to do it (54) , it’s not professional for work etc
Really? I'm 10 years younger than you and been going grey for about 10 years. Nobody has ever commented. Not once, and you're really getting multiple people talking about it? If that's true your friends and family are really weird.

Fully grew mine out in Covid, I was 35. To be fair I had short hair then so it was a lot easier. I say go for it, it is so amazing not having to worry about maintaining a colour and my now shoulder length hair has never been healthier.

Everyone pretends to be surprised at someone's age no matter how old or young they look. It's polite. Especially if people bring up ages. In day to day life I'm rarely asked my age.

I'd reply 'I'm giving it a try' and carry on. You don't need to listen to their crap or justify it. And if you go back to it then that's fine too.

I think people are kidding themselves if they think having grey hair doesn’t make them look older. Terrible dyed hair isn’t a good look either.
If you're happy to have grey hair, then go for it! Lots of women look lovely with their natural hair, but it is definitely aging.

I’m 48 and intend to keep dyeing my hair, I personally would feel I look way older with grey hair
I dye it a natural mid brown colour

OP are you asking your friends and family what they think of your hair or are they randomly making rude comments?
If it’s the second one I would tell them to fuck the fuck off.

"professionalism" is a millstone around women's necks. It stops women socializing, networking, speaking out, challenging etc.

I don't care about it being 'ageing'. Being concerned about that implies there's something wrong with being older. It's a blessing and an honour denied to many and I'm happy to embrace it. The older I get, the more experience and perspective and wisdom I have. Why on earth would I want to look as though I don't have all that?