Nobody likes my greying hair!

[Sidebeforeself]

Decided to embrace my natural grey ( for many reasons!) Im entering that really tricky stage where I have a big stripe so feeling self conscious but know I have to grin and bear it. But what’s not helping is how many negative comments Im getting from friends and family. Things like Im too young to do it (54) , it’s not professional for work etc. I know DH not keen .

I realise other opinions don’t matter but when I m feeling self conscious it would be nice to get a bit of support. Did anyone else experience this?

@Snippit - I have looked at photographs of me with dark hair , & I do somewhat miss it - but given how grey I was going - the ash highlights do blend in well. As I was leaving the hairdressers - woman before me had her hair done v dark brown - her choice but I think v dark can look more witchy that a few ash highlights. BUT BUT BUT - each to their own . As I have aged a lighter colour suits my skin tone more ( I think) I dyed my hair dark brown for years and I am not sure it ended up suiting me. It was a step I had to take to go lighter. For reference I am 60 and started this in my mid late 50s if that helps anyone at all , or indeed makes them think too young to do it.

I knew I’d get people reacting to me mentioning that I thought being overweight would contribute to me looking older; funny how nobody commented on the other things in my list, like choice of clothing or hairstyle. For ME being overweight would represent ‘letting myself go’ more than not dying my hair, because it would probably mean I’d stopped exercising and taking care of my body in the same way.

I stopped dyeing mine just before covid due to a sudden allergy. I think a combination of peri and stress triggered it. Husband dislikes it but has given up suggesting I try natural organic dyes. Sometimes I do miss my colour but I’d be too afraid to try organic.
I think it looks good, although it does needs maintenance with a good cut..I’m saving on the hairdresser but spending on good hair products and skincare as I think that’s how to pull it all off along with stylish clothes.

Me too I had my first greys at 18! I’m 46 now and I get my roots done every month and my hair grows fast so I have to use root retouch up after 10 days! 100% grey now but refuse to let it in lol! It’s about what makes you feel good and personal choice.

Yes I think this is it. There are probably ways to style it that would really help with that using wide band hairbands and headscarves.

I use Provoke,think that's how it's spelt, but quite honestly I'd just go with getting it in tip top condition regular trims deep conditioning trust me your hair will thank you for it

My hair looks the best it's ever done in its natural grey state, it never took dye well which is one of the reasons I decided to stop having it coloured. Suits my complexion far better too.
Personally I think there's nothing more ageing than dark dyed hair on SOME women - not all, others carry it off very well. I think it must be down to skin tone

I won't ever go grey, my mum was never grey, had a full head of dark blonde hair until the day she passed away at 83, I'm not grey either, I'm also blonde, but if the grey was to appear, I'd dye it

The alternative to natural grey doesn't have to be the harsh, dark, blocky hair everyone bangs on about! I colour my hair a medium brown and I'm careful to do it properly so I don't get build up.

Some women are blessed, to be beautiful, have great genes, have great skin, great legs, great figure. Others just not. Some peoples grey comes through beautifully. Some are really not nice. Have a look through some photos. Work with what you've got. Purple shampoo. Go to a good hairdresser, a good cut, maybe a couple of streaks / highlights of silver or white or ... to lift it.

I was very dark and then the grey came

It was iron grey and I hated it so carried on dyeing it my natural colour until the roots showed after a fortnight

So I'm now dark blonde. The roots don't show badly so I can wait a month before going back

I am never going grey because it doesn't suit me and it won't ever go white.

But whatever way you go, get a good cut and it makes all the difference

@Nanny0gg But whatever way you go, get a good cut and it makes all the difference

This I agree with ( for what it is worth )

I will be 60 this year. I have NEVER coloured my hair , (which is a light brown with some red in it). The only drastic thing I did with my hair was get it corkscrew permed in my 20’s.

i think I must be lucky, because my grey/silver hair is coming through quite evenly. I still look my usual colour but it’s as if I had silver hi-lights. Nobody’s ever suggested I dye my hair, including my hairdresser.

I don’t understand the obsession with colouring your hair. Your own colour is the one that suits you! We all get older. The grey happens to us all, at varying rates. It’s part of who you are. Colouring your hair doesn’t stop the inevitable.

And if you go grey naturally, people who you see and/or work with you every day, will barely notice the change… people you see once in a while might notice, but how rude to actually say something!?!

And as others have pointed out - nobody calls men out on greying. Older men who dye their hair always look very noticeable in my opinion…as do women to be fair.

You cant turn back time, better to just go with the flow, I think.

Oh , I agree that a good cut makes all the difference, by the way!😊

Some great comments here which have made me more inclined to stick it out.
To posters suggesting I have highlights etc to lessen the stripy effect, I do see how that can work but I’m still dyeing my hair then aren’t I?

By the way DH is totally supportive but when I asked him to be honest he admitted he didn’t like it.

The grey happens to us all, at varying rates.

Many people never get grey hair and others only start going grey late in life. It's largely genetic. My father had mid brown hair and didn't get any grey hairs until his seventies.

41 here and probably greyer than you.

Grey hair don't care!🎉🎉🎉🎉

I'm deliberately going out of my way not to dye my hair. I have no patience to waste my time and money dyeing hair.

Yes but you’d only need to do it once and then keep it fresh with a toner/purple shampoo. I couldn’t imagine even going to the shop, much less a wedding or event, looking like a badger - it just looks so unkempt. Something like this would allow you to grow out your natural grey more seamlessly.

I don’t understand the obsession with colouring your hair. Your own colour is the one that suits you! We all get older. The grey happens to us all, at varying rates. It’s part of who you are. Colouring your hair doesn’t stop the inevitable.

I was 22 when I first started going noticeably grey. Should I have let the grey accumulate and told my prospective young boyfriends that I was just embracing the inevitable?

'Nobody calls men out for greying'...probably because grey hair on men is seen as much less of a negative thing than losing it. Yay! He's still got hair (even if it is grey!!).

Why not? Grey hair can look stunning on young people.

I enjoy reading everyone's experiences of going grey - I also grew the dye out during COVID. It was sort of sobering to see just what was underneath as I hadn't seen my real colour in years - I was happy there is a cool white stripe through it, the rest is mainly dark brown with some salt and pepper. After COVID I asked my hairdresser to dye my hair to make me look younger - she refused, and told me to wait and see - the other hairdressers agreed that they loved it. I am still not 100% sure but I'm definitely happier not to be putting a load of chemicals on my head and it is in excellent condition.

It will be interesting to see if aesthetics and perceptions shift a little now that so many more women are letting their natural colour show. Being 'distinguished' has been associated with middle aged men for so long (eg in their 50s/60s) whereas youth has been the default ideal for women - just look how much 'ageing' is used as a negative adjective for women compared to men. We're so used to unreal ideals including heavily filtered and airbrushed images.

Have only read OP. Tell them to "get to fuck" in whichever manner you think is appropriate.
If your hair pleases you, that is fine. If it doesn't consult with your hairdresser about making it into something that does. And everyone else can do one.

FWIW it was my hairdresser (!) who suggested i grow out my grey, and i haven't looked back. But i haven't had any adverse comments. Either it really suits me or people with a differing opinion do the correct and polite thing and keeps it to themselves.