Nobody likes my greying hair!

[Sidebeforeself]

Decided to embrace my natural grey ( for many reasons!) Im entering that really tricky stage where I have a big stripe so feeling self conscious but know I have to grin and bear it. But what’s not helping is how many negative comments Im getting from friends and family. Things like Im too young to do it (54) , it’s not professional for work etc. I know DH not keen .

I realise other opinions don’t matter but when I m feeling self conscious it would be nice to get a bit of support. Did anyone else experience this?

What your advice @ilovesushi ? Leave it to grow out or dye it? I was blonde as a kid but then went mousy so it's currently dyed.

I would grow it out. Just suck up the temporary colour difference if you can bear it. It is not too extreme and it will probably merge in as the blonde fades a bit. You could get it cut shorter so you get the full silver effect sooner.

Cutting it isn't an option but I'll look into your other suggestion. I'm hoping to see my friend in a few weeks and she is a hairdresser so I'll get her suggestion as well. Thank you.

I went for balayage for a year or so it blended in the growing out.

@BirthdayRainbow leave it blonde. There doesn't appear to me much greying anyway. Keep it blonde (JMO.)

I’ve posted this pic on other threads. It’s not totally clear but I like it. I stopped dyeing in 2019 due to allergies so no choice. It’s really silvery and shiny in real life and I always get compliments on the colour.

Looks absolutely lovely, but you have a fabulous, warm skin tone, so grey doesn’t wash you out.

Thank you. I’m actually really cool toned, I just don’t think this picture shows it well. Sometimes it makes me look a bit pasty but then so did my natural brown at times because I’m really pale. I think I might have had a bit of summer colour in my skin at this point too!

You do need to adjust make up palette when opting to go grey.

I think the problem, and why all of these threads go south is because women, and how they 'chose' to present themselves isn't an honest choice.

Women are judged so much more by their looks than men and the (hear me now) patriarchy benefits so much from women attacking each other for what should actually be gentle conversations.

There's no real reason why we, as women, should care about our hair colour, or the hair colour of the women in our lives that we love (or indeed hate, or feel ambivalent about).

It's the patriarchy that has set us agin ourselves.

I cannot imagine a conversation amongst men that would become so vitriolic regarding hair colour.

We've been taught to see other women through such a critical lense that we waste time on this bollox rather than what is actually beautiful.

My goodness, I see beautiful women everywhere.

We need to stop, look, and understand that we are being played, my lovely sisters.

Stick with it! I stopped around my 40th and it's so liberating. There is a tricky transition stage where your colour fights against the grey but the scales will tip.

What I found was that I started to wear more make up to give me more colour as the grey can be draining and also as a signifier to the world that I am taking care of myself, this is a conscious decision and I'm not letting myself go!

Your hair will never liberate you.

YOU will liberate You.

You are the only one that will ever make uou better.

How does one find out whether they have cool or warm tones? I'm clueless!

I dyed my hair December 10th so a few weeks worth.

@GreyRooted Ooh you look lovely! That’s the kind of look I’m aiming for although I seem to be going white not silver

Re eyebrows, the advice is usually to stay with the colour they were before you went grey, hence mine are still dark brown.

I have highlights twice a year and it really makes a huge difference to my grey.

One way that is often suggested is asking if gold or silver jewellery suits you better. Silver tends to suit cool tones, gold warm tones. I suspect this may only apply to white skin, so apologies if that's not your skin colour.

Cool tones are pinky skin and warm tones tend to have more yellow in. People with warmer toned skin often have a greenish tint to their visible veins.

I agree with your post at 02.17 @Tetsuo.

The comments from one woman to another turn so nasty sometimes. Women with grey hair described as having let themselves go. Women who cover their grey described as pathetically clinging on to youth. It's ok for your appearance to matter to you, whether that be with smoke and mirrors or completely 'natural' or something between the two. But why be bitchy and scathing about other women's choices? It's ridiculous that I felt I had to mentally batten down the hatches just let my hair grow out grey, for fear of what people would think.

If you wanted to, could you colour the rest of your hair to the colour of your roots so you don't have to put up with the growing out stage? :)

I am white and my photo is up there so maybe you can tell from that. I prefer gold jewellery so haven't really thought about whether it suits me better than silver. Someone once said I look really good in red but I don't wear it much.

ooh, just looked at my veins! Elven green! Thank you for the tip, I have more warm than cool tones. Although I do like silver (in my clothes, my jewellery and, now, my hair). And I don't tan, if that's relevant. Not sure what I can do with this bit of knowledge, will turn to friend Google and see if I can improve my clothing choices (white looks rubbish on me - the classic white Tee/perfect white shirt is not my friend, much as I would love it to be).

My veins are green too 😂

Each to their own. But having progressed to grey, there is a slightly subversive aspect (for me at least). Meeting random male gaze with, I really couldn't give a stuff if you think this makes me look less fuckable, because truly, what you think about that is so not my priority, is unexpectedly empowering.