Why why why??? (hair/pics)

[TheLastScone]

I look after it, only blow dry twice a week and use good products, conditioning treatments etc. I have tried everything from salon treatments to expensive brands, from every miracle product under the sun.
But this is my hair texture, it has been this way since I was born, and it wearies me when I am supposed to think it is 'damaged' or shit. It's just my hair. I forgive it for being so arsey and I am about to just give up and go with the wild flow of things, but before i do..

If i leave it to dry naturally I get a mass of fluff, some kinks and a lot of wispy fuzz. It's kind of cool in a 70's top of the pops way, but I always wanted it to shine. Never mind! If i put any kind of oil or serum on it, it goes flat and dull. I have tried rollers, big hair, straightening irons, dyson dryer, heated brush, everything, but I come back to blow drying because it's kinder. Sometimes I don't do anything and wear it in a claw clip, a la french chic

I just wonder, is there anything I can do to mitigate the fuzz. In these pics you see it straight after a soft/medium heat blow dry, after conditioning and elasticiser. I don't wear bobbles and am mindful of pulling. I use a cotton towel to dab dry after washing.
I honestly don't want a keratin treatment, I won't spend that, nor can I stomach curly girl. I have tried that and it is not for me. I prefer my natural fuzzy waves to that. With all due respect please dont recommend it, it works for some and not others.

Colour is natural, no highlights or dyes. I have no idea why it thins at the ends and rarely grows at the front. It hasn't been cut apart from trims for 5 years! I am happy to leave it to air dry as the wave is lovely but the halo of fuzz is still there no matter what I do.

And @emmsyl please quit talking down to me like I am an idiot. You are way too invested in this thread.

Good grief! I've tried to be helpful, and answered questions you've asked me (you're welcome by the way!) as have many posters, and you've exasperated a few too I see. I have wavy hair type so have an interest in related threads.

You said you weren't going to use heat because your ends are very damaged, but then talk about using a hot brush on that very area, which is clearly going to further damage. Sorry you felt I talked down to you for pointing that out.

I'm sorry, but a few of your posts seem more interested in telling me off than actually helping. I absolutely appreciate friendly advice that isn't using force (cut it all off!) or humiliation. I don't need you to keep telling me how awful it is, that's all. There is a balance.

I have been conditioning and have stopped using the dryer, am just experimenting at the moment to see how it goes. I used a hair mask then let it air dry in a ponytail, then used a hot brush on a very low setting to gently tease the waves. I am aware that heat is not recommended for any hair type but it isn't at all unusual. Here are a couple of pics, the weight and shine has improved since I stopped using the dryer. I know it isn't great but it is a bit better! Am going to try a few things on this thread and see how I get on, as well as popping into the salon. Thanks everyone.

You said yourself it was in bad condition, which it is. After you wouldn't countenance cutting off the damaged ends, which the majority have suggested, I tried to come up with alternative solutions and answered questions you asked me. You've been quite defensive to a few posters now.

The hot brush won't help, but I'm sure you know that really. I wasn't 'telling you off' but expressing surprise that you'd decided to about turn and use heat after all.

The best of luck to you then.

@emmsyl this is all getting a bit deep, I have thanked you for all helpful advice and only objected to pushiness, there is no need to keep repeating how much you dislike my hair. I heard you the first time.

As for the heat, I am just experimenting.

I think it looks lovely in those latest photos @TheLastScone!

I think it looks really pretty in this picture!! Very soft with some lovely waves. And I really like the colour.

I would be cautious about is drying your hair in a tight ponytail. Hair is especially fragile when wet and a tight pony tail puts it under quite a lot of strain. It seems like breakage could be an issue. but your hair may be less sensitive than mine.

You’re very defensive Op. I think people have genuinely been trying to help but you’re being rather rude. You can’t really post saying your hair is rubbish and then complain when people say it can be improved if you do certain things which you then ignore.

Your hair is thin and wispy and broken. It needs a really good cut and for you to stop using heat.

I haven't once said that I dislike your hair, only factually, and honestly stated the poor condition (as did many people, including you). I don't believe you have thanked me for replying, but I don't expect that when offering advice in forums.

I think you've been taking the hair advice as a personal criticism with a few of people now. It isn't that 'deep' I agree, so possibly stop tagging and quoting people, and being defensive.

I shall bow out here I think.

I have the same hair as you. I can’t wear it long for all the reasons you give. Mine looks best. with a short, layered cut, not a bob, and cut religiously every 6 weeks.

My hair is the same. No matter what I do or what I use it's like fluff and looks damaged permanently.

Last week I went to the salon prepared to be told its all ruined and to chop it all off. She said she's not going to cut it and charge me for it when it doesn't need it. She said it's just my type of hair.

She washed in and rough dried it and then smoothed out the worst looking bits with a blow dry brush - guess what? It looked perfect! Not one bit of fluff or frizz. It looked completely healthy. I swear these hairdressers have magic hands! She didn't use any product whatsoever either.

Can I recreate it at home? No. I've tried to blow dry with allsorts of hairdryers and brushes and conclude it's technique. I've spent thousands on my hair only for it to look like I completely neglect it.

Next time I go to salon I'm getting a blowdrying lesson. No matter how many YouTube videos I've studied I'm still not able to skillfully do it so I'm getting a lesson.

I hope you can become happy with yours, I love your colour by the way x

Thank you!
This happened to me too, I was told the condition was decent and my hair was strong. It just thins at the ends. I have been in to salons in the past and begged for help to fix it, but only to be told it didn't need fixing. It's just my hair.
To be honest, those who don't have it possibly don't understand why calling it 'damaged' feels hopeless and unhelpful.

I would love to make a peace with it as I get older. A blow dry lesson sounds great!

My hair responds well to apply conditioner leave couple of minutes,rinse, shampoo twice then conditioner, leave couple of minutes rinse. Try a detangling spray before you dry.