Why why why??? (hair/pics)

[TheLastScone]

I look after it, only blow dry twice a week and use good products, conditioning treatments etc. I have tried everything from salon treatments to expensive brands, from every miracle product under the sun.
But this is my hair texture, it has been this way since I was born, and it wearies me when I am supposed to think it is 'damaged' or shit. It's just my hair. I forgive it for being so arsey and I am about to just give up and go with the wild flow of things, but before i do..

If i leave it to dry naturally I get a mass of fluff, some kinks and a lot of wispy fuzz. It's kind of cool in a 70's top of the pops way, but I always wanted it to shine. Never mind! If i put any kind of oil or serum on it, it goes flat and dull. I have tried rollers, big hair, straightening irons, dyson dryer, heated brush, everything, but I come back to blow drying because it's kinder. Sometimes I don't do anything and wear it in a claw clip, a la french chic

I just wonder, is there anything I can do to mitigate the fuzz. In these pics you see it straight after a soft/medium heat blow dry, after conditioning and elasticiser. I don't wear bobbles and am mindful of pulling. I use a cotton towel to dab dry after washing.
I honestly don't want a keratin treatment, I won't spend that, nor can I stomach curly girl. I have tried that and it is not for me. I prefer my natural fuzzy waves to that. With all due respect please dont recommend it, it works for some and not others.

Colour is natural, no highlights or dyes. I have no idea why it thins at the ends and rarely grows at the front. It hasn't been cut apart from trims for 5 years! I am happy to leave it to air dry as the wave is lovely but the halo of fuzz is still there no matter what I do.

I think part of the truth is a salon / hairdresser blow dry just gets your hair so much straighter because they can walk around it and pull it straight in a way you just can't do yourself.

@TheLastScone I thought mine would be, but they are quite thick. It did work for me, it's like my hair wanted to naturally do it. I hope you find something that works for you.

I find a mask works well once a week or so. Also I got a freebie from the salon of a wella oil which makes mine look so much better. I also use protection spray and straighten it every couple of days.

Family member with similar hair to you, braids it in two plaits after washing with leave in conditioner. She finds it tends to enhance her natural light wave/kink ? hair and reduce the "fuzz" as she calls it.

She also did the bob/long bob - I think she found the undercut bob the style that looked best - but demanded a lot of her time.

Go and see a trichologist, they can take a sample of your hair and look at it under a microscope, do some tests on it
then you can say for sure if it’s damaged or if it’s natural texture,

at first glance it looks dry and has split ends, you can try a sulfate free shampoo and conditioner
a silk pillowcase would be good to prevent it getting damaged whilst you sleep
I would get a filter for your shower head too, it makes a big difference some peoples hair can’t handle tap water

also make sure you’re not deficient in any vitamins like iron , and don’t have any underlying hormone issues

Thanks.
Would trying out washing in bottled water be worth the experiment, or would that also be considered 'hard' (mineral, etc)?

Yes bottled water is hard

We have a shower attachment filter and it does help a little bit though not as much as a full on plumbed in water softener.

Have you tried Olaplex? I use no8 (use like a conditioner but leave in for 10-20 min if you can) and it genuinely does leave things silky. I try to use it weekly. I have similar issues with fine hair and frayed flyway ends and this is the only thing that has helped. I believe Olaplex no3 is even more effective but more of a faff to use.

I wonder if your hairdresser uses Olaplex no1 or no2 (I think these are the salon ones) and that’s what makes the difference. Worth asking them.

(I also have the Philip Kingsley elasticizer - does bugger all).

Another thought. One reason for this “look” can be if you lose hair a lot. This means you constantly have lots of different lengths hair, despite regular trims, which leads to the flyaway ends. Do you feel you lose a lot of hair eg into the hairbrush or when showering? If so then it is worth getting thyroid, iron, vits checked .

I've very similar hair to you OP. Agree that a short bob tends to bring out the best in it, and the longer it gets the more disappointingly fine/strawlike/fluffy it is. But like you I keep it long so I can put it up. I've given up blow-drying and given up pretty much all products apart from a gentle shampoo, and I just put it up every day. Radical acceptance 😬
But I've noticed it does tend to look better in places with different water (not sure if softer or harder tbh - just have noticed a difference in a few places on holiday). So as you suggested, it might be worth experimenting with different levels of water softness/hardness if that's possible.
Also it's better if it's trimmed more regularly to try to eliminate the layers, as the layers seem to make the fluffiness worse. But in order to keep up with that, the trimming is required more quickly than the hair grows, so if I kept up with it I'd end up with a short bob anyway. So yeah. Ponytails and messy buns are the order of the (every) day. Solidarity!

Interesting! I wore my hair in a half knot for a while with bobble and clips - a lot of the unintended layers may have come from that. I was once told by a stylist that my hair was always shorter at the sides because I kept fiddling with it. Likely true and it gets in my face all the time.
Wearing it permanently loose would help but it's so much hard work.

Shame about the bottled water.

You never see anyone come out of a hairdresser with hair like this so I would go to them for suggestions.

My first thought when I saw the photos were a getting a good few inches off would really help.

Wearing it permanently loose would help but it's so much hard work.

I don't think so. It wouldn't help with the frizz and it can be damaging, and not very practical. That's partly why people wear their hair in what are called protective hairstyles; plaits and buns (secured with non damaging accessories like silk hair ties) being two examples.

You really don't understand CG. It's about using the right type of hair products, not forcing sausage style curls into your hair!!!

Amen to this. The principles of curly/wavy hair care (with modifications for your hair type) works for every single person with this hair type. Because it's just the proper way to care for it. The trouble seems to be that people think CG is some sort of cult that they can't deviate from.

I spent a fortune on Kerastase Dermosomething and it was awful. I different hairdresser recommended it, but it made my hair even more limp. I have quite a sensitive scalp so have to be careful what I use, and I do not rate it, and it was quite pricy because I bought a bulk deal. I use it every now and then to use it up, but I wasn't too charmed at the time of realisation.

What don't you like about having your hair down? Is it because it get in the way a lot?

I have a bob and I cannot see me having any other style in a hurry. It's textured so it looks fuller than it really is, and without a small stealth brag, I get compliments all the time.

I can't tie it up which I know you said might be an issue, but it doesn't get in the way. Sometimes I just shove a craw clip in so the sides are scooped up, or put one side behind my ear.

Yes, that's it!

It's about modification and selecting the parts to work for your hair type, as there's a big difference between 2a waves and 4c coils/curls.

Apologies if this has been mentioned a thousand times already (there's 8 pages to get through) but it could be a shaft disorder:

https://dermnetnz.org/topics/defects-of-the-hair-shaft

You could get advice from a dermatologist/trichologist but, for what it's worth, I think it looks fine. I'm not a fan of the smooth and sleek look personally. I like to backcomb my hair and mess it up.

You never see anyone come out of a hairdresser with hair like this so I would go to them for suggestions.

I suspect you always this charming?
.....

Not doing too badly the past few days. Am creating a twist with hot hair brush that evens out the wave and eases the frizz, could still do with finding the right product to apply after washing/drying to make it a touch sleeker. A good one combined with a heat protectant would be fab.Strangely when I wear it like this it looks 3 times thicker, as if going with the natural wave makes it puff up a bit, lol.

As for CG, I don't like the current trend for very defined, coated curls. The more natural (if fuzzier) look always seems softer and lovelier to me, but then I can't even create a curl to save my life. We all just prefer different things.

I'm sorry @TheLastScone but that is the truth. Everyone goes out looking better than they walked in. I have a friend whose husband cuts her hair and yes it looks like it. You can spend a fortune on this and that products but you need an expert eye. It would be like complaining about teeth and buying everything in Boots but not going to the dentist.

Spot on @mrsmingleton. Imagine if all professions were treated with the same poor attitude.

could still do with finding the right product to apply after washing/drying to make it a touch sleeker

You’ve had many good suggestions, but nothing works on you according to yourself. Your hair may have extremely poor quality, but you need to pay for a really good hairdresser and make regular appointments every 6 weeks or so. They are definitely out there. Your hair would not look like that if you had a hairdresser that knows what to do. Good luck.

Oh no to using a hot brush on those ends

I thought you were staying away from heat. It won't recover that way, but the very opposite.

This stuff is really good. I have fine-ish hair, wavy if I let it be, and curly if I make an effort with it. I find I can use this on damp hair but also when it's dry to smooth out frizz. It doesn't weigh my hair down or make it look greasy or stringy.

I was referring to the tone not the advice.
It was also, hence the emoji, with humour. I have no issue with chatting to a stylist, which I discussed on page 1.

For the time being, I need to be able to look vaguely decent to go out and about, so whilst I'm figuring what to do, I am stuck with it!

And @emmsyl please quit talking down to me like I am an idiot. You are way too invested in this thread.