Why why why??? (hair/pics)

[TheLastScone]

I look after it, only blow dry twice a week and use good products, conditioning treatments etc. I have tried everything from salon treatments to expensive brands, from every miracle product under the sun.
But this is my hair texture, it has been this way since I was born, and it wearies me when I am supposed to think it is 'damaged' or shit. It's just my hair. I forgive it for being so arsey and I am about to just give up and go with the wild flow of things, but before i do..

If i leave it to dry naturally I get a mass of fluff, some kinks and a lot of wispy fuzz. It's kind of cool in a 70's top of the pops way, but I always wanted it to shine. Never mind! If i put any kind of oil or serum on it, it goes flat and dull. I have tried rollers, big hair, straightening irons, dyson dryer, heated brush, everything, but I come back to blow drying because it's kinder. Sometimes I don't do anything and wear it in a claw clip, a la french chic

I just wonder, is there anything I can do to mitigate the fuzz. In these pics you see it straight after a soft/medium heat blow dry, after conditioning and elasticiser. I don't wear bobbles and am mindful of pulling. I use a cotton towel to dab dry after washing.
I honestly don't want a keratin treatment, I won't spend that, nor can I stomach curly girl. I have tried that and it is not for me. I prefer my natural fuzzy waves to that. With all due respect please dont recommend it, it works for some and not others.

Colour is natural, no highlights or dyes. I have no idea why it thins at the ends and rarely grows at the front. It hasn't been cut apart from trims for 5 years! I am happy to leave it to air dry as the wave is lovely but the halo of fuzz is still there no matter what I do.

I just did a youtube search and found this lady testing out the dyson hairdryer. I noticed that as she dries it, her hair is almost the exact same texture as my own. No matter how you do it, or what you spend, the slightly straw like texture remains.
I imagine she would look stunning with it natural!
No use me getting the dyson, lol.

I have fluffy hair also, although short, and more curly/wavy than OP's. Moroccan oil, or indeed any oil, just makes my hair look greasy.

I do use leave in conditioner, although that tends to make it flat, and I don't particularly like that either. I've tried everything under the sun, but have had to come to terms with my odd hair - it's just the way it is. I never blow dry it, or brush/comb it.

Forgot to say, I also changed to that years ago, and it is much better.

Back to you OP, I think a good trim and a blunt cut would help matters.

The various people who have mentioned Dyson, including me, haven’t been talking about the hairdryer - we are talking about the Airwrap, which includes a dryer but is mainly about the styling tools. I really think it would be worth you finding a friend who has one and trying the smoothing brush.

Agree it needs a good cut, but I reckon the smoother might do the rest.

I think if you even got 2 inches off it without it being a bob it will take the wispy ends away. I always had straight glossy shiny hair even without blow drying it and now in peri-menopause get this mad frizz that is unreal. I use olaplex on my hair and it does take away some of the frizz. Could you put a wash in semi-permanent hair colour in yourself the same colour as you have as it tends to flatten down the cuticle of the hair. Sorry not much help but would just a 2 inch cut and still be able to tie it up or if you want to wear it down just take an inch bit of hair on each side and twirl it and clasp at the back so is long at the back but no frizz at the side. Am sure others have better advice. My sister has the same hair and calls her hair candy floss.

Curly girl is an utter faff. It is not an option for anyone who wants to be able to leave the house before midday with decent looking hair.

Curly Girl isn't supposed to be an utter faff. The original premise was to get rid of all the products and just go with a minimal amount. However, it has been overtaken by people who use product, after product, after product, which was not the original intention.

I will be leaving the hair dryer alone for a start. Sadly it is fuzzy left natural, so god knows. Cutting really doesn't solve this for me, but I can understand why people are advising it. I took 3 inches off it in 2021 when trimmed, and no change. Whatever I do I will need to be able to tie it back.

After looking at my old photo's it seems the texture condition changed abruptly somewhere around 2018. I doubt the picture of me with the bob and pink gilet would be like that now even though i am only a few yrs older.

At least i dont wear pink gilets anymore

My hair has been cut short countless times and the ragged ends reappear quickly. Since I prefer to wear it up most of the time, and have a fondness for braids, I would prefer to make the best of my lot.

You could hide the ragged ends in a short braid, yes, but that's only deferring the problem.

The majority have advised you to cut the most damaged part. That would seem the most sensible, then following some of the tips to help improve the condition given here, and keep heat to a minimum if you must use hairdryers or styling tools.

OMG that was the most boring video ever and it took forever for her to dry her hair. Who's got that kind of time?

Hairdressers use water filters. You need to get a water filter.

This makes sense, but having lopped a few inches off before the problem just moves upwards. If it is the water, or my age, then cutting won't solve it. How would bobbing it eliminate the fuzz at the root? Maybe I will have to learn to live with it. Bobs and lobs do not suit my face or style at all, so it's really hard.

I have to decide whether my updo's are important enough to keep on as I am, with regular trims or whether I should whack it off. I just don't know yet. I will try a few of the suggestions here and see how i get on first.
...
Thank you everyone, a lot of good ideas and tips here.

Also, there is nothing that could have 'damaged' the ends of my hair . In real life the texture is the same from root to tip. If I am trimming regularly and not overstyling, using good products and taking care, the ends are just my hair really.
Cutting would get rid of the straggle effect, but the 'effect' then moves upwards. I promise.

You will never completely eliminate the frizz at the root! Especially when it's damp or hot, all of your straightening or blow drying will be undone. I have to use a super strong gel (that or hairspray are the only things that really work) in my ponytail when doing sport or it puffs up. I only wash my hair once or twice at week and daily I wet mine slightly from the root to neck to brush down any frizz, then fasten it to air dry. I only use a hairdryer every few months. Olaplex oil regularly on the ends.

Color wow, someone recommended, isn't bad but it's heat activated

If you can't face losing the length then just an inch or so, but more regularly. You'll soon notice the difference.

This is exactly what I was going to suggest! My hair is so similar OP and this has worked VERY well for me

That's what I already do, an inch or so regularly. It's depressing.
I used to dry mine in a tight ponytail which straightened at the root easily. Recently the fuzz is out of control, I would love to find the source of that, but of course if it's age, it's tough.
My hair resisted the elements quite well when I used to use ghd's. I think I used an anti humidity spray or something.
Hairdryers are frizz machines! It takes so long to do and the brush is always pulling. I also think the straightening brushes are drying too, made my hair like straw.
I will change how I dry it for a while and see what happens. I have become so afraid of over heating it and yet I am living proof that you can go a year without heat and still have frizz. I wish society would stop seeing natural frizz as a negative. Some of us just have it, with healthy hair too.

I have some colour wow dreamcoat, it seemed to work twice then never since. I have tried bloody everything going

Do you wear yours loose?

Out of interest (and apologies if its' been covered up thread) have you tried doing nothing at all - no shampoo, no conditioner, no driers/stylers?

My own hair is driving me mad (though in different ways).

That sounds terrifying!
I dont trust our water for one.

Couldn't you just use a shower cap?

@emmsyl could I see a picture of your hair, please?

I have wavy, frizzy hair but can't get it to look nice. I have tried over the years, but not to the extent of bonnets etc.

Would be good to see a photo of yours to see if it's something I could achieve.

"I like the waves and don't wish to have curls or go straight

You've blow dried it straight-ish for the photos though as there are no waves visible?"

I forgot to answer this, for clarity I opt for straight at the moment as it is easiest to deal with. Ideally I would prefer my natural shape.

Have you tried a protein treatment on it?
For cheap - Aldi volume conditioner has protein
Bit more ££ K-Pak Liquid Reconstructor for Unisex 10.1 oz Hair Spray, White, (Pack of 1) amzn.eu/d/0RjGUTg

My hair is fluff but I can only deal with it using a modified wavy method
Hair washed and left and hair styled

It's like cotton wool to touch, nothing there at all so I have to use protein conditioners and strong hold styling products that are very lightweight

Op, I have very similar hair type to yours, except mine is more flyaway. I too loved the versatility of long hair and the fact you can stick it in an updo and have an instant classy look. However, as I got older my hair became weaker and weaker and fraying at the ends like yours, alongside a huge amount of hair loss due to peri menopause. I've recently bitten the bullet and had the lot chopped off. It's a collar bone blunt cut, but longer at the front to retain some flick-a-bility and to give shape. I have to say I love it. It's not uber fashionable like a pixie cut etc, because I know my hairs limitations and it couldn't hold that type of style, but it's controllable and thicker looking and date I say it, youthful! I was so hesitant to get the chop but am glad I went for it. What's the worse that can happen - you can just let it grow out of you hate it. I definitely agree with others though, do not go for layers, they offer nothing for our type of hair.

How did you work out that you need more protein in your shampoo/conditioner?

I've only just worked out that my hair doesn't agree with coconut based products, so wondering if my hair has a protein imbalance.

@Shadypaws23 what styling products do you use please? I remember your hair from another thread but can't remember what you said. I'd love to have that definition to my hair but the best I get is totally flat roots and wavy yet fluffy rest of it. Yours is amazing!

I have cat hair too. Infuriating! I have found that if I use an old t-shirt to soak up most of the water and dry it with a round boar bristle brush almost straight away, then spray some dry shampoo through the roots while hanging head upside down and shaking so it gets through the hair, I have some semblance of shape and it decreases the frizz. I also use a heat protectant before I dry it and a hair serum or split ends sealant/leave in moisturising treatment (whatever) before drying and again put a tiny dot between my palms and smooth the ends/bane of my life temple frizzles.