Why why why??? (hair/pics)

[TheLastScone]

I look after it, only blow dry twice a week and use good products, conditioning treatments etc. I have tried everything from salon treatments to expensive brands, from every miracle product under the sun.
But this is my hair texture, it has been this way since I was born, and it wearies me when I am supposed to think it is 'damaged' or shit. It's just my hair. I forgive it for being so arsey and I am about to just give up and go with the wild flow of things, but before i do..

If i leave it to dry naturally I get a mass of fluff, some kinks and a lot of wispy fuzz. It's kind of cool in a 70's top of the pops way, but I always wanted it to shine. Never mind! If i put any kind of oil or serum on it, it goes flat and dull. I have tried rollers, big hair, straightening irons, dyson dryer, heated brush, everything, but I come back to blow drying because it's kinder. Sometimes I don't do anything and wear it in a claw clip, a la french chic

I just wonder, is there anything I can do to mitigate the fuzz. In these pics you see it straight after a soft/medium heat blow dry, after conditioning and elasticiser. I don't wear bobbles and am mindful of pulling. I use a cotton towel to dab dry after washing.
I honestly don't want a keratin treatment, I won't spend that, nor can I stomach curly girl. I have tried that and it is not for me. I prefer my natural fuzzy waves to that. With all due respect please dont recommend it, it works for some and not others.

Colour is natural, no highlights or dyes. I have no idea why it thins at the ends and rarely grows at the front. It hasn't been cut apart from trims for 5 years! I am happy to leave it to air dry as the wave is lovely but the halo of fuzz is still there no matter what I do.

I bought this recently and you use it at the last minute - it really helps with fly aways. As with any product you can use too much so use all of these products sparingly. I would say though that maybe you should treat yourself to a trip to the hairdresser and get them to do a good cut.

https://www.champohaircare.com/products/leave-in-perfecting-cream

You mentioned menopause - are you on HRT? You could also try using the Nioxin range of hair products.

Have you tried any natural hair masks?? Eggs really help reduce any fizz in my hair, which is very thick but will fizz post children.

If you are not willing to embrace the curly girl method

With all due respect, I have no idea why people with curly hair keep insisting everyone with frizz also has curly hair! I don't have curls and my hair won't, no matter how much time I spend on it, take one. And I am not prepared to force it.
It isn't something we are denying or resisting, and just like achieving silky straight locks, those who don't naturally have it can't wave a wand and create it easily. Likewise with curls. I would have to get a perm.

Perhaps we need to stop presuming all frizzy people are natural shirley temple's?

Thank you for all the new recommendations everyone! <3

Waves are a form of curl though, OP. Curly haircare (it does not have to be slavish devotion to the Curly Girl method) works the same for both types of hair, just with some modifications. If you don't want to do it that's fine, but you said yourself that your hair is wavy, and sometimes embracing your natural hair is the best way forward.

I was just about to say the same thing. You keep telling us you have waves, therefore Curly Girl will help your hair. You don't have to go overboard with dozens of products, the basic idea was to keep it simple.

As a pp said, the way you are treating your hair is what is damaging it. You have been offered a lot of good advice on this thread, but you seem to be cherry picking the bits you like and ignoring the rest. Honestly, a good blunt cut and some gentle after care are your best solutions. Unfotunately there is no magic wand to be waved to make your hair look the way you want it to.

Maybe some people who’ve done the CG method can advise.

CG is meant to be heat-free.

My hair takes the best part of a day to dry. If I leave the house while it’s still damp, it’s frizzes WAY worse than when I use heat to straighten it. Using a diffuser didn’t give me anywhere near as nice waves as letting it dry by itself did. But I don’t have all day to let it dry!

CG is not a solution for me, and I suspect others, no matter how much I try to simplify it. As it just comes with its own set of time-consuming faffiness, products and annoyances.

I went to have mine cut today at a curl specialist and asked him and showed him the thread

He said
Silk or satin pillowcase
Try something with protein
You might find a texture spray or foam works to give it some grit as it might be flyaway as it's actually too soft (which is also where the protein comes in) and that can work if you just air dry too
For growth, it's often down to a vitamin deficiency such as vitamin D or low iron
Try spraying some hairspray on your hands then smoothing it downwards over the hair

Oh and he asked had you ever had it coloured, as too soft hair is often easier when coloured

Some curly girl methods won't work for waves, what are waves classed as? 2a? They'll be too heavy. So it's worth finding which elements work for you. But keep it simple as a pp says. If you wear your hair wavy, Op, it will hide those ends. I think you said you would .

I think there's a test to see if your hair needs protein or moisture, then I think you have to be careful as too much can make it brittle. I do an occasional hair condition, with shower cap, using coconut oil.

I wonder if a colour depositing shampoo might help OP with condition also?

@GodDammitCecil CG isn't heat free! Diffusers and hood dryers are commonly used. You just don't blast it with a regular hairdryer.

Posted too early. I have an inexpensive hood dryer and it's one of the best things I ever bought for my hair. Also, if your hair is that thick then it probably holds the curl well? You won't need to do much at all to your hair most mornings, apart from a quick refresh perhaps.

No CG won't work for my waves.

To the regular CG church - I appreciate that it works for some people, but please stop jumping on everyone with frizz/waves, pushing them to force sausage style curls into their hair, not everyone even wants that look.

I have very similar hair to you OP.

Just to quieten all the CGMethod suggestions, I started doing CG in 2012 and I'm just giving up on it now. It did actually work for me for the first few years but something (peri-menopause perhaps) has made my hair lose any bounce that it had. I've determinedly tried to stick with the CG for fear of making my hair worse but I've reached the point where I think it's time to leave it behind and try something else. Co-washing leaves my hair even flatter. CG is not the magic fix-all solution!

Having said that OP, I use a small amount of Boots curl creme which I brush through with a Denman brush and it helps tons with the frizz and gives a bit of shine and makes it a touch heavier.

Co-washing leaves my hair even flatter. CG is not the magic fix-all solution!

I tried co washing a couple of years ago and the same of course.

We people with 2a-c wavy hair (in OP's case it looks like 2a hair in one photo) cannot religiously follow the curly girl method as what's suitable for 3a, or even 4c, coils and curls, is not going to work for 2a. A lot of it will be too heavy and unsuitable for 2a waves.

You might be able to borrow one or two ideas for curly girl for wavy hair but that's it. You wouldn't want to be using the whole routine. There's an alternative 'wavy girl' as a pp mentioned, but I don't use all of that, personally.

I have wavy frizzy hair if left it never really looks shiny and nice as I want but if I use my silk heatless curl band ( about £5 on amazon) on dampish hair and leave all day or sleep in it overnight then it comes out curly for first hour or so then relaxes into soft waves that look natural and for some reason the frizz is really calmed.

I bought a fancy new claw clip today!
I think wearing my hair loose is but a dream now, even though I would only wish to do it in winter, can't stand it loose in summer. I think even with ghd's it would still look like straw.

Saw an older woman with a gorgeous sleek bob today. Her hair was extremely thin and fine but so lovely. I can imagine it doesn't give her a days trouble! Looked so neat and pretty. It was the straightest hair imaginable though, so my own mushroom bob would not compare.

I am wondering does anyone here use kerastase for hair like mine?

The hair masque pot with the orange lid is ok, for dry hair I think. There's also a spray, orange bottle, to protect against heat damage, that I used to use. Also ok, but neither amazing.

The shampoos are average too IMO.

You really don't understand CG. It's about using the right type of hair products, not forcing sausage style curls into your hair!!!

I really don't know what you wanted from this thread, as you seen determined to dismiss any good advice you have been given.

My hair has always been fine, flyaway and very knotty, i'd wake up and i'd have a ball of candyfloss fluff stick to my head, the only thing that cured it was dreadlocking my hair 10years ago, I love my hair now but I still have a fluffy halo. I know that is probably of no help whatsoever, but maybe it will help someone😂.

I really don't know what you wanted from this thread,

Most people seemed to understand it just fine, especially the part about not being interested in CG

Oh wow, I would probably have the thinnest dreads imaginable! It's definitely one way of dealing with it. I'm glad you have found something that works, I'm tempted to go back to the ghd's :(

A cold blast from the hairdryer?