Why why why??? (hair/pics)

[TheLastScone]

I look after it, only blow dry twice a week and use good products, conditioning treatments etc. I have tried everything from salon treatments to expensive brands, from every miracle product under the sun.
But this is my hair texture, it has been this way since I was born, and it wearies me when I am supposed to think it is 'damaged' or shit. It's just my hair. I forgive it for being so arsey and I am about to just give up and go with the wild flow of things, but before i do..

If i leave it to dry naturally I get a mass of fluff, some kinks and a lot of wispy fuzz. It's kind of cool in a 70's top of the pops way, but I always wanted it to shine. Never mind! If i put any kind of oil or serum on it, it goes flat and dull. I have tried rollers, big hair, straightening irons, dyson dryer, heated brush, everything, but I come back to blow drying because it's kinder. Sometimes I don't do anything and wear it in a claw clip, a la french chic

I just wonder, is there anything I can do to mitigate the fuzz. In these pics you see it straight after a soft/medium heat blow dry, after conditioning and elasticiser. I don't wear bobbles and am mindful of pulling. I use a cotton towel to dab dry after washing.
I honestly don't want a keratin treatment, I won't spend that, nor can I stomach curly girl. I have tried that and it is not for me. I prefer my natural fuzzy waves to that. With all due respect please dont recommend it, it works for some and not others.

Colour is natural, no highlights or dyes. I have no idea why it thins at the ends and rarely grows at the front. It hasn't been cut apart from trims for 5 years! I am happy to leave it to air dry as the wave is lovely but the halo of fuzz is still there no matter what I do.

I stopped using one about a decade ago, I can't say it did much harm though. I do prefer it wavy but might be worth having one in.

@JustACountryMusicGirlInCowboyBoots might try that, thanks! Mine just stays the same when cut, even though it looks fresh for about 4 days. The ends seem to take this shape no matter what length it is, but naturally it is worse when very long.

The three things to think about are cut, colour and condition. Try two get two out of three right.

It needs a proper cut - the dead ends are fading away to nothing at the front. It's not happy at that length. The photos don't show the colour so I can't tell if it's lovely or not. The condition I don't think is a problem - it's your hair texture which is naturally now fine with slight frizz in our damp climate, as is many people's (who don't use straighteners). No oils or expensive products will change or thicken it. Does your hair move and swing when you turn your head? If so, great! I would cut it into a blunt French bob (not one of those layered ones !). Also some natural looking highlights and lowlights through it to give not only the illusion of thickness and depth but an actual thickening effect on your hair itself.

My hair did this after pregnancy. The only thing that's given me the hair I want is microloop hair extensions. I love them

Do you have a photo of it wavy, op? And when you wear it wavy what do you put in it?

I'm sorry I offended you posting that link- I just thought what you had described might have a genetic basis as you seemed to suggest your hair is unusual?

E.g.
Quote" this is my hair texture, it has been this way since I was born, and it wearies me when I am supposed to think it is 'damaged' or shit. It's just my hair. I forgive it for being so arsey and I am about to just give up and go with the wild flow of things, but before i do..

If i leave it to dry naturally I get a mass of fluff, some kinks and a lot of wispy fuzz. It's kind of cool in a 70's top of the pops way,

and
In these pics you see it straight after a soft/medium heat blow dry, after conditioning and elasticiser. "

The hair condition linked to eases as people get older. And if you did look you would see all the kids look completely georgeous - just difficult to manage hair (I think the headline pictures link to news articles and are are fluffed up to exaggerate the effect. No offence meant. I truly thought you were saying the texture of your hair is unusual.

I need to be able to throw it back and wear it in different ways so a solid short cut would be too much hassle for me.
I appreciate that I will have to live with the downsides to this. My bobbed hair took on the look of a mushroom even using straighteners, but it did look healthier for a while!
I would also be trapped into straightening it, and I would ultimately like to go with my natural wave. I quite like my natural colour and will enjoy it until age changes it. So for me, two of those 3 are ok. I am only bothered by the texture/porosity issues.

Here was my last bob, years ago: please excuse the bloody awful fashion choices here

@Winter2020 thanks for explaining

I think the bob looks lovely on you, more of a lob really.

I do empathise because I have very porous hair too and over the years have spent huge sums trying to make it frizz free.

I find the water hardness makes a huge difference. I spend 6 months a year with soft water and then the other 6 months in a hard water area, within one wash my hair is dry, tangly and frizzy.

I also apply keratin treatments which definitely help (I do my own) so I try to limit it to once a year.

It’ll probably be the weight the hairdresser is putting behind the pulling on the brush during the blow dry. It’s very hard to get that yourself.

have you tried Colour Wow Dreamcoat?

I tried to find a pic of my natural hair wave and can only find one on my laptop. It is from my 20's. It was a bit fuzzier in real life and the roots are usually ore wavy.
I am adding another pic from my early 40's to show what i looked like before I moved here (and used to use GHD's). I think it's probably meno sadly:(

My God OP - how you haven’t lost it with the numerous people wondering if you’ve tried the curly girl method - when it’s right there in your OP that it’s not an option, and you specifically don’t want to do it! You’re a better person than me.

Curly girl is an utter faff. It is not an option for anyone who wants to be able to leave the house before midday with decent looking hair.

I can only assume people read the thread title, look at the photos and plough in with their unhelpful suggestions?

The one thing I have taken from curly girl, which has helped - but has nothing to do with creating faffy, time-consuming curls - is co-washing, after washing with regular shampoo.

I use a gentle regular shampoo (usually just whatever DH uses, and it may well have silicons, etc).

Then I ‘wash’ it with a silicon-free conditioner - really getting at the roots. Then I rinse that out, and condition it with banana hair food.

I then use a BBH to straighten it.

Combine all that with a silk pillowcase, and it’s so much less frizzy.

Oh and silk pillow cases are good stops friction on hair ! Tbh thou I think your hair looks really pretty 🤩 x

Go back to the Bob, it looks great. If not a Bob then have a good few inches cut off.

My colleague had a Brazilian blow dry - very similar texture hair like yours - looked great, very sleek.
The Bob looks good and with GHD straighteners run over every other day I would have throught frizz tamed x

Thank you.
I have never thought about using straighteners since. The truth is I never noticed an improvement in condition after quitting them. I wasn't a heavy user though.
When I was 14 I used my mum's iron on a piece of cardboard

Are there any decent ones on the market now? Are GHD still the best?
I tried my sister's set from Lidl last year but the glide was rough.

Sorry - I’m a bob fan too! I think it looked really lovely on you 😃

I agree, I have my hair blow dried every six months when it's cut and if they don't use the lowest setting it scotches it and it looks frizzy after the blow dry has been washed. A blow dry twice a week would fry my hair just like this.

Hi, yes I have very similar texture hair to yours and only proper ( unfortunately expensive) GHD branded straighteners will work- any other brand still has frizz regardless of being apparently the same etc. It’s to do with the temperature and ceramic plates. Makes a significant difference and I’ve been using them for years and years with heat protector first- it’s part of my normal hair routine at home xx

I am so baffled by styling tools!
I thought dryers were kinder than the others?
I used a straightening brush (revlon i think) for a while and my hair was super dry as a result. Far more than when I used GHD's.

I have been thinking about what has changed for me in the past few years since my hair took a turn for the worst.
1/meno
2/the water
3/started blow drying

If it's meno then I am prepared to accept and move on, but if i can change it I would love to. Would a water filter jug or bottled water be worth a test? My hair was much shinier when I lived further north.

Which heat protector is best?

I suggest a very good cut for starters. Even it up at the bottom. A good cut will do it the power of good.

What about an occasional morrocan oil on the ends?

If it is meno, HRT might help.

Your hair on the left (with the pink gilet) looks amazing! But I get the problem with constantly needing to straight it.

the two pictures from your 40es (40ies??) are also absolutely gorgeous.

that‘s probably not particularly helpful in regards to hair care. Just my honest reaction when looking at these pictures. And it would feel incredibly silly to delete this (now that I’ve already typed it). Might as well post it, I suppose.

You get some fairly cheap water filters, btw.