Help me find my style

[justlass]

I've just seen a photo of myself today and I'm horrified! I know I'm overweight, I'm size 16, no waist, apple shaped, large tummy, legs ok ish, but big calves I guess, size 34/36ff or g bra size, dark below shoulders curly hair, brown eyes, 5 foot 7.

I tend to wear jeans with vest tops and cardigan in summer and jeans with quite long hoodies or jumpers in winter, with either Converse or ankle boots.

I thought I looked ok until I saw the photos. I'll try and attach one. My stomach looks huge, I look scruffy.

I tend to buy things off eBay or Vinted because I'm on a very low budget, the disadvantage is of course that sometimes clothes are too small or awful condition etc.

I don't have many stores nearby, so mainly shop online. I can't get to John Lewis or Debenhams for a consultation about what suits me and I can't afford to have my colours done.

I've tried looking at influencers, but can't find anyone who wears the sort of clothes I wear. I don't need going out clothes or work clothes, just casual wear. Plus they're all slimmer or larger.

Any ideas or advice? Just been feeling really down about myself recently and feel I need to change something but want to still feel comfortable.

Hi! Can I suggest changing a couple of things about your style? Try going tighter on the bottom half (eg Jeggings/skinny jeans - GenZ may hate them but they just might suit your body type).

Then go with a longer top with capped sleeves and pair with a shorter jacket eg bomber jacket or a blazer. This will help bring eye to the slimmer parts of your body.

Also try Cider - you can input your measurements and find clothes that will suit you plus it's far more affordable than elsewhere.

Thank you. Until about three months ago I only wore skinny jeans, I much prefer the straight ones I'm wearing now, my calves don't look so huge in them.

The vest tops I wear are actually quite long, I think it just rode up a bit before the photo I attached. I have got a couple of blouses with capped sleeves, but they're quite short. Most of my jackets are quite long, I didn't think I suited short jackets. The only short one I have is a denim one that I like to wear with dresses.

I will have a look at Cider, thanks for the suggestion.

I'm not sure how Cider works, I've input my measurements but it's not recommending anything.

Love your nail varnish!

Yes, you do look scruffy. (Sorry!) I won’t say burn all your cardigans, as you can’t afford to do that, but I’d suggest you don’t buy any more. It’s hard to tell what the fabric of your grey one is - it doesn’t look like wool, and the colour is really very drab.

So one problem is the flatness of the textures you’re wearing. They may not all be cotton but they all look similar, there’s no variety and no ‘light’.

Another is that nothing looks ironed. They might have been! But again, they’re not fabrics that show crispness and fresh laundering - they’re just … there.

And those colours are a crying shame. With such lovely dark hair and your bright fingernails you ought to be in scarlet, or emerald green or a really deep blue.

I know you say you only need casual clothes, but you are obviously going to be photographed now and again. And your family and friends see you. And you must pass the odd mirror?

Vest top and droopy cardigan is a horrible combination for your figure. And you need much straighter, dark denim that stops at a definite point rather than pooling around for ankles.

Stronger, brighter colours. Variety in fabrics. More structure. Clothes that need ironing; ironed. That’s what I’d suggest.

(Happy to offer a few ideas that you could seek out on eBay …)

For one you do not look huge but maybe a bit frumpy .. you have just lost your way ..try v neck dresses and be more fitted on ever top
Or bottom.. good luck OP I know it's horrible when you feel lost style wise

I've Screenshot some tops that would work well with jeans. I've put on weight and have been living in this type of top. I also use Vinted. I'd also go for slimmer jeans. M&S do really nice jeans. They all have different names but I go for the ones called The Lily slim.
You could add a blazer rather then a cardigan for a smarter look. Hope this helps.

This & Other Stories dress would be perfect on you, if you could find it, or something similar pre-owned. And I’m sure you could wear it to a birthday party or out for drinks or you could invent a suitable occasion:

https://www.stories.com/en_gbp/clothing/dresses/midi-dresses/product.silk-blend-midi-dress-red.1110083002.html

If you must wear a vest top make it this colour:

https://www.americanvintage-store.com/gb/en/MAS00H23-ETOVIN.html

And a cord shirt jacket rather than a droopy cardigan would instantly make you look … livelier and more engaged with current trends.

https://www.americanvintage-store.com/gb/en/PADO06AH23-CANVINT.html

Could find plenty more but I have a looooong day tomorrow.

I think in the picture, it looks as if the jeans don't fit properly. They are too long- I think if you shortened them they would look better.
The black crossbody bag isn't working so well, either - it's not a summer bag, and black is not a current colour for bags. It might just about work with black clothes but it's dull.
On the plus side, your figure is much better than your words suggested, so it should be easy to find something a bit more flattering. I think you need more colour.

Before I go …

Here’s another red dress - more casual this time. Community Clothing’s prices gave shot up recently but I’m sure some of their things must be available on pre-owned sites. Something like this would be fabulous on you - particularly if you replaced the fabric belt with one in brown leather. That’s an instant way to upgrade a dress.

https://communityclothing.co.uk/collections/womens-dresses-jumpsuits/products/cotton-dress-straight-red?variant=31765409890358

(Though really I wanted to show you their wonderfully colourful rugby shirts - for women and men. Definitely not drab.)

Alternatively, a top like this, worn with a delicate necklace and belted dark jeans or a skirt, would look magnificent on you. It really is a question of being aware of fabrics (look at the fabric mix of this!) and taking the time to choose every single item carefully:

https://www.cos.com/en_gbp/women/womenswear/tops/polo-shirts/product.knitted-silk-blend-polo-shirt-green.1001552006.html

Hope someone else can show you some wide straight dark jeans. I need to go to sleep! Hope some of this has been helpful.

You don’t look ‘huge’! It’s just that your clothes are drab. But that’s easy to change. You could easily look fabulous.

Hi OP I’m a size 16 and 5’6” and feel quite good about my style - in fact some young thing in a coffee shop just complimented me! (😂). It would be easy to start recommending individual items but it would be my taste and probably not yours. ( mine involves wide leg trousers and men’s shirts, trainers or Tevas and a tote). Before you go gung ho spending money have a look at this book https://anuschkarees.com/curatedcloset

It’s all about finding your own style. She starts you off by advising you to save images you like. Maybe start a Pinterest board of looks you like and don’t worry just yet about your lifestyle and the practicalities or cost - just pin them. There was a thread about the book on here a little while ago too if you can dig it out.

You don't look huge and your stomach looks flat just a wider waist and slimmer hips, classic apple shape.

I think you would be an Autumn or Winter season.

You have slim legs and narrow hips to your shoulders, I disagree with wearing tighter jeans, I think you need wide legged trousers or cargo trousers with side pockets to balance your figure out.
Measure your breasts and order new bras from brastop.com
booborbust.com
Outfit ideas:

• knee length tunic dress A line or shift with long pendant if neckline is closed
• white jeans, navy shirt, wedge heels

I think if you are strapped financially, ebay is a terrible idea because it's not like you can return for a full refund.

In your place I would focus on weight loss and agree with ironing clothes.

I am your height and appley, though small busted. This Hush top is very good for apples, and pure cotton. I see most of the colours have sold out in the sale, but it's worth keeping an eye open for it, and others with the same shape. Basically you need a batwing shape with maybe wide leg trousers. That's my uniform. Do not make the mistake of trying to hide the tum with billowy fabrics. I look better if I define my waist. That CC dress upthread is gorgeous, if you can find something similar on Vinted.

Mimi Puff Sleeve T-Shirt | Periwinkle Blue | hush (hush-uk.com)

Puff sleeves will broaden her already wide shoulders and add more bulk near her big bust. The neckline will make her look more matronly and bigger up top.

That mini puff suits a small chested pear shaped woman not a T or apple body IMHO

@MarciaSaysANumber
£45 for a vest? OP has a limited budget 🙄 honestly

The puff sleeves are very subtle, honestly. It's worth trying given OP is on a budget.

Otherwise, maybe button down shirts over a vest top. That's my other uniform. Might suit a large bust better.

I have lost my way with my shape and when I get back from holiday I'm going to be on it! I used to walk loads and have managed to do that whilst away so I'm going to keep the momentum going.

I wouldn't recommend what @MarciaSaysANumber has suggested, they just shout fat person in hiding and seem too old for you. But that's just my opinion!

P.S you aren't fat just a little more rounded than you'd like to be 🥰

Your body is fine! You look lovely and down yo earth.

Can you look in social media at midsize clothing?

I really think you should visit a shop when you can so you can try things on.

Somwtimes I just wear what the kids are wearing so it's like a uniform. I recently bought a mid sized denim skirt with a slit from Stradivarius. u have worn a jeans jacket and leather jacket recently.

And I like some of the clothes in Fat Face and bought barrel shaped jeans which are baggy like yours but cinch in at the ankle.

Just try things on and chose something that's comfortable and you like!

And try and think a little about colours and what matches when dressing e.g. if tight on top, baggy on bottom and vice versa, picking out colours that are in the same pallette etc.

You could also just pick fancier versions of what you like so as you like t shirts, just pick a fancier one or a statement one.Similarly with cardigans, go for something more bold and memorable. All those little details matter like funky buttons, asymmetric shape or different coloured collar etc.

I promise you can find nice things at whatever size you are. Recently as I have been uncomfortable in my weight I bought crinkly fally black wide leg trousers and wear with a short black crinkly top with a little tie on the waist.

Can you tell us sort of style you like?

Also lots of us just dress in whatever and are not catwalking all day! Some MN posts can make it seem it's normal to be a fashionista when it's not.

Where has that thread gone with people sharing what they wear? That was great inspiration.

Wow this is a long stream of consciousness.

I’d agree with trying to visit a shop just to try different things on if at all possible. Even if you don’t buy it will give you an idea of how things look ( and also sizing which can then help when buying on vinted etc)

Also agree that think your jeans need shortening - or you could see what they look like turned up?

I think the long vest is maybe hitting you at the wrong point so makes you look bigger/wider. Would you consider a shorter top at all? Or an easier transition might be to try a shorter vest and maybe switch the cardigan for a shirt? Shirts are quite an easy way to add a different colour/texture - have to be careful with anything too shiny with big boobs and avoid pockets on the breasts! You could either have a go at a French tuck or alternatively if it feels more comfortable wear over a shorter vest instead of the cardigan.

Oh, for goodness sake! How many times did I write that I’m offering suggestions for ideas the OP might be able to find on pre-owned sites?

Can you not read?

I wouldn't recommend what @MarciaSaysANumber has suggested, they just shout fat person in hiding and seem too old for you. But that's just my opinion!

Brighter, stronger colours - wrong?

More structure - wrong?

Variety in fabrics - wrong?

Ironed clothes - wrong?

Or actually, no. Those are all completely sensible things to suggest to someone who realises their clothes are a bit drab and scruffy looking. Can’t really see any point at all in your comment.

I was totally confused too and had to look back - having done so I’m pretty sure that PP meant holdupholdup’s post with the photos of billowy tunics rather than yours Marcia

You don't look awful at all! But I agree you could use a little change. I also use Vinted (rarely buy from anywhere else now) and absolutely love it. The key is to filtering only by the brands you like and are flattering on you. I personally wouldn't use it to buy primark/Shein etc. I find shops like Next/M & S/ Zara usually have decent quality and fit.

I have recently re-discovered wide-legged trousers and absolutely LOVE them to give a slightly smarter day look. And they'd be good if you're trying to disguise your calves. You can search for them on Vinted. And maybe try a slim-fitting shirt instead of a vest top. I also love a pleated midi-skirt or maxi dress with a denim jacket and trainers.

Don't buy any more of those cardigans either, they aren't flattering. Denim jacket or slim-fitting shacket, the key is to stop trying to hide your figure - embrace it! You have beautiful colouring and a curvy figure some people would kill for!

I'm the same size as you but a 14 on bottom and a bigger cup size. I wouldn't be seen dead in the baggy tops that have been suggested up thread, not only do they remind me of Sharon in Eastenders but they'd make you look bigger up top especially with a bust the size or ours.

I look best in structured, fitted, clothes but not clingy. For me skinny jeans look best (I have good legs as I walk and cycle a lot and never skip leg day), I stick a v-neck jumper or t-shirt on with them. Winter I wear mini skirts with boots alot. I have some lovely summer dresses bought from Bravissimo over the years (look on ebay etc). They're linen/cotton shift style.

Also if you're not sure on your bra size, go and get fitted. A good fitting bra can take inches off you.