Help me find my style

[justlass]

I've just seen a photo of myself today and I'm horrified! I know I'm overweight, I'm size 16, no waist, apple shaped, large tummy, legs ok ish, but big calves I guess, size 34/36ff or g bra size, dark below shoulders curly hair, brown eyes, 5 foot 7.

I tend to wear jeans with vest tops and cardigan in summer and jeans with quite long hoodies or jumpers in winter, with either Converse or ankle boots.

I thought I looked ok until I saw the photos. I'll try and attach one. My stomach looks huge, I look scruffy.

I tend to buy things off eBay or Vinted because I'm on a very low budget, the disadvantage is of course that sometimes clothes are too small or awful condition etc.

I don't have many stores nearby, so mainly shop online. I can't get to John Lewis or Debenhams for a consultation about what suits me and I can't afford to have my colours done.

I've tried looking at influencers, but can't find anyone who wears the sort of clothes I wear. I don't need going out clothes or work clothes, just casual wear. Plus they're all slimmer or larger.

Any ideas or advice? Just been feeling really down about myself recently and feel I need to change something but want to still feel comfortable.

I found the Kat Farmer book good for thinking about these things. You need to create a waist for yourself or otherwise balance your body shape. So wide legged jeans/trousers with a sweatshirt type top that has a definite waist will give you a shape. Or the half tuck with a t-shirt. Trousers that don't bunch, so if you like the straight leg roll them or cut them off so they sit above your shoes. A crop cardigan will give you shape more than a long one. Or if a long one you need to create a waist somewhere eg by tucking your t-shirt in. V necks might be more flattering. If you tried the same jeans rolled to fit without bunching, a bright v neck t-shirt tucked in and the same cardigan with the sleeves smartly rolled to the elbows it could change it all.

Thank you, that's easier to understand 😊

I struggle with the tuck, it never looks right.

I think I've been hiding for most of my life, I've never worn a cropped cardigan because I thought it would show my rubbish body. Most of my tops, jackets etc are long.

I do wear v neck or deep scoop neck tops because they're more flattering.

@justlass - have you tried rolling the jeans up just to see what they look like? That’s an easy thing to try and then wait for the jeans you ordered to come.

On tops - do you have any different styles in your existing wardrobe? If not try folding the vest top under to see what you look like with a shorter silhouette just for an idea. You could maybe even try a French tuck on a cardi ( or vest too if enough material) - again I would wear this out but it will give you an idea about shapes! I’d imagine if you end up with wider trousers then you will need some shorter tops to balance.

Blazers are really hard to get right without trying on. Maybe you could find a cheaper thicker material shirt to try that as a first stop

I have 5 pairs of the Lily slim jeans! 2 in the dark indigo, 2 in black and 1 in the normal blue wash. I find them true to size and really comfy.
I find the darker colours look smarter than a lighter wash.
I can't do blazers, I just don't feel relaxed in them doesn't matter how many I try. I prefer a utility jacket, denim, leather or a shaket, much more my comfort zone. One of those could replace your cardigan.

That book helped me a lot as I am petite with all my weight on my boobs and stomach but was always skinny through my childhood and twenties. In my head I'm still skinny and flat chested and struggle with dressing for my curves now. Practice rolling and tucking and assembling at home with the clothes you have already. Put on that long cardigan and stand in front of the mirror. Keep one arm long and try properly rolling up one sleeve (with nice wide folds) to where your natural waistline is and see the lift it immediately makes to your body shape. I struggle with the tuck too, but under a cardi the belly won't show the way it would without. If I keep in mind to create a waist and balance top and bottom I tend to be able to transform what I already have.

Do an M&S online order for blazers and jackets. If you spend over a certain amount then it's free delivery and then you can send it back for free too!!

Jackets and blazers. I used to hate wearing them unless for work. Once I found a vintage jigsaw one, light sort of RAF blue with a white vertical stripe, which I like and also then a bright pink blazer/jacket. I’ve since bought a forest green ruched sleeve pleather jacket and a long line Myleene Klass bright green one.

My DM who’s 5 ft 6, slim but no boobs can wear baggier jackets/blazers.

I’m 5 ft 5, 30G boobs (though no one believes me!) and hourglass but 12/14, so I suit the blazers/jackets above. Double breasted is a big no no for me.

I know you don’t like manmade fibres OP but a nice pleated skirt I think would look nice on you.

Very detailed linen shirt advice here, OP. I think some of these looks with a slightly different neckline, necklace length etc could be spot on for you.

This lady is bigger than you, but I feel lots of her outfits would work for you shape wise. Just if you're looking for a bit of inspiration. Maybe worth just rooting around in your wardrobe for bits of a similar shape to what she's got, and see if you do look similar if you put the tucks/ rolls/ accessories like she does
https://instagram.com/fabfatand40plus?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

I would keep a look out for people with similar body shapes in everyday life eg sales assistants in clothes shops, other mums etc whose style you like and notice what they are wearing.

Regarding shapes it's about working with proportions and not trying to make yourself look slimmer.

So as you are bigger on top wider trousers or flares or A line skirts.

Wearing colour in my opinion is an easy way to look good whatever shape or weight you are at. Your colours in your photo don't go well together! Find clothes with colours that do go well together and in colours that you like.

Maybe you have a friend who has good personal style and who would love to give you different ideas. I do think that not having a full length mirror is an issue that you need to solve!

Start off with either rolling those jeans up or getting some scissors out and cutting them off 1 inch above the floor at the back of your heels when standing barefoot.

This lady is exactly what I mean when I say make a waist and balance top and bottom. See how she rolls up sleeves to sit at the waistline she's created with the tucked in top? And balances the shape of top and bottom. And has colour. She looks great! Her tops are loose enough to tuck and then pull out a little. Too tight or gaping just draws attention to your clothes not fitting you.

I'll try rolling them up.

Tops - I have two short v neck blouses from Next, a lot of vest tops mainly in navy, black, blue, and one in turquoise. I also have three long sleeved linen or cotton shirts, long. I'll attach some photos.

And these

My skirts

I think I've gone for the normal blue. I'm still worried they'll be too long, and if I cut them won't they fray or look awful?

Thank you I'll watch it 😊

Just had a look, she looks great and I've followed her, will check through more of her stuff now, but in general like her style.

Ah I live in a small seaside town, quite a poor area and I've not really seen anyone who's style I would like to copy.

The mirror is an issue I know. It's a mixture of not really looking at myself in the mirror (which is now obvious 😂) and not being able to fix it to the wall, but I'm looking into it.

Is this the Instagram lady linked to above? I do like her style 😊

Sorry for all the photos, just a few more.

I'd get your jeans taken up or just do a single turn-up rather than cut them unless you're confident. Wouldn't your skirt with birds on it look nice with your white linen shirt?

I'm not at all confident about cutting them 😂

The white linen shirt sort of drowns the knee length skirt because it's so big, if I do it up. Or do you mean open over a vest top?

I'm following because you wear what I wear, always jeans and a top. Similar age I'm guessing.I'm bored

I've always prioritised other things over clothes but I'm bored now

Forgot the white linen shirt ..