Help me find my style

[justlass]

I've just seen a photo of myself today and I'm horrified! I know I'm overweight, I'm size 16, no waist, apple shaped, large tummy, legs ok ish, but big calves I guess, size 34/36ff or g bra size, dark below shoulders curly hair, brown eyes, 5 foot 7.

I tend to wear jeans with vest tops and cardigan in summer and jeans with quite long hoodies or jumpers in winter, with either Converse or ankle boots.

I thought I looked ok until I saw the photos. I'll try and attach one. My stomach looks huge, I look scruffy.

I tend to buy things off eBay or Vinted because I'm on a very low budget, the disadvantage is of course that sometimes clothes are too small or awful condition etc.

I don't have many stores nearby, so mainly shop online. I can't get to John Lewis or Debenhams for a consultation about what suits me and I can't afford to have my colours done.

I've tried looking at influencers, but can't find anyone who wears the sort of clothes I wear. I don't need going out clothes or work clothes, just casual wear. Plus they're all slimmer or larger.

Any ideas or advice? Just been feeling really down about myself recently and feel I need to change something but want to still feel comfortable.

You might bite off more than you can chew but have a look at Kibbe - it's an online quiz which takes your body and facial features into account and classifies you into a particular fashion style. Sounds crazy, but lord does it work for me.
Then once you know your style, there's loads of inspo on pinterest and youtube for outfits.
So I'm a Soft Dramatic and if I deviate from my lines, I look off and not myself. It even gives advice on hair/make-up.
Then you could do a colour analysis quiz to see what season you are - from that phito I'm guessing Winter but obviously your face isn't in it so I could be wrong.

Hi, I can really recommend these wide leg trousers (made of Viscose) from New Look. They have a stretchy waist band and are so comfy! There are a few different patterns, but check the same price to ensure they aren’t the polyester ones! Very lightweight so would only work for warmer months (though I’ve worn leggings underneath to be able to wear them on cold days!). I think the outfit with the white shirt here would suit you actually, with the shirt instead of a cardigan and a vest top as you like to wear.

I had a similar problem a couple of years ago. I don't have a lot to spend on clothes but I used Vinted and eBay but searching specifically for high quality fabrics, for example, silk and cashmere, with a top budget of 20 quid per item - I got some really nice pieces.

Really helped upgrade my look.

I would also recommend side fastening trousers - any trousers with a zip at the front just add bulk to an apple stomach. I find side zip trousers that have a bit of elastane in them pull me in.

Also get some really good shapewear - thongs are good as they don't flatten the bum - but do flatten the tummy which is what apples need.

Thank you, I can't wear thongs, they irritate my nether regions! I've not found any shape wear I'm happy with tbh.

I love all @MarciaSaysANumber suggestions but not necessarily the colours.

The vest top eg not sure if you.

I love the red dresses but wouldn’t suit the colour of the top.

Based on what you have, you can wear belts to give a waist. You can get clothes that require minimal ironing too.

My friend who’s an apple shape and size 18-20 likes and suits eg Joules floral tops, joules Breton stripe jersey dresses and long striped shirts.

I love your nail polish!

Shapewear tends to be manmade fabrics but could be wrong.

I also hate fussy things, so ditsy patterns or anything floral really, bows, metal bits, fluff and flounces! Am I being too picky? 🫣

So far most of the wide legged trousers I've seen seem to be polyester and look like work trousers.

What sort of belt should I be looking for? Any links please?

Going out for lunch and put a dress on from last year but hate it! Will probably wear my denim skirt and a T-shirt.

I don't have any blazers because I always think they look like I'm going to work, so if anyone can recommend a casual looking blazer that would be great 😊

I don't have another bag apart from my cross body one and a smaller cross body one. What should I be looking for? Need to be practical, but not too big. I have cross body because when I'm out with my mum once a week I need to link arms with her to keep her upright!

Sorry if this is all very bitty, I'm trying to reply to all your suggestions 😊

@Tabitha005 where did you find shapewear type vests? That sounds like a good idea.

I hate florals, frills, ditsy, flounces and pastel colours. Which is most of what it's in the shops. I only wear jewel colours and black.

This is why I have very few clothes which can only be a good thing. I don't buy at any one shop: I need to trawl through the high street and charity shops.

Yes I think I'm going to have a cull and put lots on Vinted, as I'm not wearing a lot of my clothes. And need to find some new things!

I agree, the shops are full of stuff I don't like and I find it difficult to find natural fabrics anyway.

Can I just say, I'd be doing cartwheels if I was your size and shape. I used to be, roughly, about a decade ago. You look absolutely fine. I'm not saying not to lose weight of you want to, but please don't be horrified, there is really no need, you look great!

I'm a size 24 now and there's not a single high street store in my town that stocks my size. Your current size is my slimming goal and I'd be so happy to be there! I will have such a different perspective of being a size 16 than I did on the way "up" - it really is a matter of perspective!

WRT restyling, you've had some great advice here, but if I was as slim as you, I'd book in for a personal stylist appointment at a John Lewis store. (I can't, too big, they won't have me!).

They're free (well, depending on your will power wrt buying all the clothes they recommend!) and could give you some new ideas.

I got mine in TK Maxx quite a while ago but I think M&S or John Lewis could be your friend for similar. I was contemplating a couple of 'Conturve' shaper 'tank' vests but have no idea if they're any good. I might order one and send it back if it's not what I'm after - it's these:

I am a size 10 -12 but with a tum, and still find it hard to find plain non-floral non- frilly clothes I like in natural fabrics..Dont wear polyester and not much viscose. The best are at Thought,

Uniqlo and often good old M and S for trousers. Also have some pricier pieces from Baukjen and Me and Em, picked up from charity shops.

Not sure on belts. Medium width ones above belly area apparently are good plus neutral colours to give hourglass figure (if you’re apple shape).

Bags if apple are structured bags with short handles and tote or medium length handle bags. Avoid cross body!

This is the website where I've recently bought a couple of belts - I like their 'punky' studded and eyelet styles, but they also do a few other styles, too: lowlife.com/?gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAjww7KmBhAyEiwA5-PUSqa_h2zSoUT_5u6SvZlmnjYwYe9UML2DnNKgri5AGjg7zBoUXMRPJBoCBSYQAvD_BwE

They're not ridiculously expensive and the customer service is great, too.

My friend who’s similar size and shape avoids biker jackets and goes for trenches (she has one in a very pale pink).

I did have some lovely black linen blend trousers long length will try to find label.

Blazers would be flowy, long lined, avoid padded shoulders, one or two buttons, narrow lapels. No double breasted! Fitted is better.

Good call on blazers - I agree narrow, long lapels tapering down to a single button work best on me. I have an oversized (bought two sizes up from my usual size) off-white linen mix blazer I got on Vinted for about £8. It's from the M&S 'Autograph' range and I wear it open with the sleeves rolled up both casually and with a black fitted dress and heels for a night out.

Based on that photo I think you’re actually a strawberry or inverted triangle rather than an apple. I think a few tweaks to your usual look will make you look less scruffy as at the moment the proportions are wrong. You need to balance your shape out so the suggestions of wide legged trousers will work well, if you want a comfy casual look then maybe try a jersey pair with trainers.

I agree that a blazer would look good too and I think a brighter colour usually looks
less like workwear. I know you can’t afford to get your colours done but I had mine done online by Style Me Happy and it was only £30and I’ve found it’s really helped me look more pulled together since I’ve become SAHM, if you can’t stretch to this there’s lots of resources online that can help you work out the best colours for you.

Something like these with trainers and a scoop or v neck t-shirt in a colour that suits you.

https://www.boden.co.uk/en-gb/wide-leg-jersey-trousers-black/sty-r0378-blk?code=D4B6&tc_ch=ps&tc_ve=goog&tc_so=pmax&tc_me=cr&tc_ca=drop-offer&tc_au=&tc_cr=na&tc_campid=UK+-+Performance+Max+-+WW+-+0-45+-+New&tc_adgroupid=&tc_kwid=&tc_matchid=&gclid=CjwKCAjww7KmBhAyEiwA5-PUSi_gtFPkFpevEVZeSjvjcl7KVSD7oAO_e5iPRMBRyRMO1gXGFOSowBoCZcgQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Hi OP

I too am apple shaped with wide shoulders. I wear these - but I have found different versions, at differ price points. I know they are ‘overdone’ style wise according to MN style and beauty, but I love them and they are really comfy.

I also hate anything tight on my legs so these suit. If I were you, I would wear them with a t shirt in the same colour as the bottom - so navy t shirt if you buy navy, black if you buy black, green with green etc.

then wear with either a denim jacket - to the park; a rain jacket or trench coat; a blazer if dressing up.

this outfit has taken me to parks; dog walks; dinner with friends and coffee and shopping trips.

wear with white trainers or converse - or coloured trainers to give a pop of colour.

hope this helps - I have spent this Summer trying to redefine my style as menopause has changed my shape a bit and I can no longer tolerate anything tight fitting.

if you google M and S wide leg side stripe you will get loads of options . You might also get them on eBay from all the MN style icons who think they are passé 😉

www.mandmdirect.ie/01/details/NN31373/French-Connection-Womens-Crepe-Wide-Leg-Joggers-Trousers-Black--Royal-Blue-White
www.mandmdirect.ie/01/details/NN31373?istCompanyId=66ae551c-f638-4b62-aa94-df7d5e289f3e&istFeedId=32055c08-772f-4867-bcec-39872fc859bb&istItemId=rmqtptrwi&istBid=t&&&&&ds_rl=1262771&ds_rl=1262771&gclid=CjwKCAjww7KmBhAyEiwA5-PUSviuHopYfCCDpNdmpmHc9JcYomhvqp_l_3TUVJkthYdVuIY00YdhVhoCcsAQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

https://www.google.ie/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwib1-6n68KAAxX9ilAGHSviABoYABAKGgJkZw&sph=&sig=AOD64_2i9YBC56_tSoJZpcIUAwiIo7X7XA&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjrpOWn68KAAxXOV0EAHWVmD2kQwg8oAHoECAYQDA&adurl=

Thank you. I'm going out now, but will look at all those when I get back. My mind is a bit boggled right now!

You have a good figure OP! But we can't see it. I'd suggest going on YouTube and searching Trinny Takeover Show. She has made over some women similar in shape and size to you and they end up looking stunning. It's about going outside your comfort zone but you can do it gradually. Start with a new bag in a bright color? Loads on vinted for very little. I think watching Trinny will
Help you. Tell us how you get on

Also check out "I'm just Marleen" on YouTube. She's a lot bigger than you but she did a great episode where she shows how to measure your body to decide what shape you are and then you can google style ideas with confidence

I don't think you need to be as radical as you think. Take your cardie off, add a slightly more prominent necklace & roll your jeans up a little. Now look in the mirror - I bet you look less frumpy.

I'm inclined to agree with posters suggesting that you need a slightly more structured jacket instead of your cardie. A denim or Biker style could work if you don't want a blazer.

Because you have good legs, don't spoil the effect by letting your trousers puddle around your ankles. You need a clean break at the end of the trousers. Tight jeans usually look better on or above the ankle bone, Wide leg trousers spread out more so can be worn to just above floor length.

Regarding a bag, I also love the convenience of a cross body bag so have updated with the ubiquitous uniqlo bag that is everywhere. :) It's cheap (under £15) and comes in lots of colours.