Help me find my style

[justlass]

I've just seen a photo of myself today and I'm horrified! I know I'm overweight, I'm size 16, no waist, apple shaped, large tummy, legs ok ish, but big calves I guess, size 34/36ff or g bra size, dark below shoulders curly hair, brown eyes, 5 foot 7.

I tend to wear jeans with vest tops and cardigan in summer and jeans with quite long hoodies or jumpers in winter, with either Converse or ankle boots.

I thought I looked ok until I saw the photos. I'll try and attach one. My stomach looks huge, I look scruffy.

I tend to buy things off eBay or Vinted because I'm on a very low budget, the disadvantage is of course that sometimes clothes are too small or awful condition etc.

I don't have many stores nearby, so mainly shop online. I can't get to John Lewis or Debenhams for a consultation about what suits me and I can't afford to have my colours done.

I've tried looking at influencers, but can't find anyone who wears the sort of clothes I wear. I don't need going out clothes or work clothes, just casual wear. Plus they're all slimmer or larger.

Any ideas or advice? Just been feeling really down about myself recently and feel I need to change something but want to still feel comfortable.

I would second @Divebar2021's recommendation to read the Curated Closet. I got a second hand copy off Amazon for about £8 and found it really useful in helping me to focus what I liked and how I wanted to look.

You just look a bit bland (sorry) and taking a photo of yourself every day for a fortnight might be difficult but it might also help.

I agree with @MarciaSaysANumber suggestions and think the items she has suggested are spot on.
OP - agree with all the comments on the jeans. I appreciate you prefer them over skinny but they are too long and shapeless and just look like they are too long for you. You could find a seamstress to take them up and make them fit perfectly for you.
I think it's about finding your own style. People watching is a good start as is looking on pinterest and instagram. Start noticing what others are wearing and see what styles appeal to you.
Getting a style analysis would be a good start and money well spent.

OP your stomach looks quite flat so to change up the outfit you’re wearing in the photo I would tuck the top in and add a belt, roll up the jeans so they aren’t pooling around your ankles and swap the cardigan for something more structured, a blazer or a shacket perhaps.

id try and go for more fitted t shirts on top rather than skin tight vests and droopy cardigans and use accessories like belts and jewelry to add interest.

and as others have said you look like you’d suit brighter colours but it doesn’t have to be anything too bold, stick to classics so you can mix and match and yes to Pinterest and saving down the looks you like!

@MarciaSaysANumber I'm so sorry, I owe you an apology. It was the screenshots by @holdupholdup which seem dated and definitely not my style.

Hmmph!

Hi op, you have a perfectly good body. Now to work with what you have. As per pp, I’d roll up the trousers to make them less billowy, tauter. Keep your blue top but now add something over the top that has more structure and is closer to your neck. I know they are “out” but a big scarf for instance would make what you’re now wearing look more finished. You need something to skim over your top. Now start transitioning into more jewel like colours. You can keep the blue since it’s classic, but reserve the baggy grey cardi as an indoor cardi unless you accessorised a bit more. You are almost there, I’d say it’s just a few tweaks to elevate what you have. Also: try stacking some silver bangles.

🤣🤣🤣

Wow, so many replies! Thank you all for taking the time to comment and make suggestions. I'm on my phone so can't see it all while replying.

I definitely can't wear smock dresses or tops, they make me look bigger.

The jeans are M&S Sienna straight, recommended by quite a few on MN 😂 thought I'd got something right for a change and they're comfortable. Yes they're a little long in a regular (very unusual as I often need the longer length 😬).

I only wear cotton or viscose, can't stand the feel of acrylic or polyester and frequently get static shocks if I do wear them!

I must admit I don't iron much, although i do iron blouses , T shirts, but I'd been sat in the car for over an hour so maybe that's why everything looked so creased.

I love that cardigan 😂 it's like my comfort blanket that I hide my flab in 😂 but I get that it's not doing me any favours.

I do like shirts over vest tops, but struggle again with colours, the ones I have are white linen, chambray linen, blue and white striped cotton.

I have a denim jacket and a leather jacket in black.

I don't wear belts because I've no waist really and feel like it would just make that more obvious but maybe I'm wrong. I don't have any at the moment.

My favourite colours are teak or turquouse, bright pink, purple, red, so jewel colours really, but I never seem to find clothes I like in those colours, although I have a v necked jumper in teal.

I'll take a look at the suggestions now. Again, thank you all for putting so much effort into it, I really appreciate it.

These are the sorts of jeans you could look for, @justlass. I obviously don’t mean buy these, just see what you can find re-owned or very much cheaper. Ideally the denim should hang straight from your hips down to your ankles, rather than following the line of your legs. (Details on enlarged photos for anyone interested.)

(There are so many typos on my posts. Feel free to assume I am completely illiterate. Or blame my stupid phone.)

Thank you. I couldn't wear a scarf at the moment, I'd be melting and have a menopausal hot flush! 😂 what would you suggest instead of my comfort cardigan?

I do get about rolling the jeans up.

Someone mentioned wide legged trousers ... I have a pair of black jersey ones I wear in winter, don't like wide legged jeans. Love cargo pants if not gathered at the bottom but can't find any I like. I used to have some black ones ages ago but they wouldn't fit me now and they're long gone anyway 😂

Don't worry, so many typos in mine too, I like teal not teak!! 😂

Thank you .. but I really don't like any of those jeans 🫣 and ankle length always makes me feel like a kid who's wearing too short trousers. Hence why I tend to go for slightly too long.

The only ones I maybe slightly like are the Raey ones, but I'm hopeless at ironing so they'd never have a straight crease down them.

I've tried that on pinterest in the past and just ended up with many photos of women in jeans and long jumpers 😂 I'm really not very imaginative, obviously 🤷‍♀️

OP, you've basically described my shape as your own - although I'm a bigger size than you. The suggestion of wide-leg trousers is good - I live in them and the higher-waisted, the better. I tend to go with closer-fitting clothes on my top half and anything high-waisted on the lower half and this year I've 'discovered' my legs!

You say your legs are 'OK' - I say they can be magnificent! I've given my legs a new lease of life by paying attention to them - essentially making sure they're depilated/shaved and moisturised. Honestly, it's been a game changer for me and the way I approach clothes and feel about myself.

I've worn shorts for the past three months and managed to get a bit of a tan on holiday in June and I've stopped obsessing over my tummy/bingo wings/double-chin and anything else I could find to dislike about myself. My current favourite shorts were three quid from Vinted - high-waist black denim from Asos. Along with a bottle of Sukin hydrating moisturiser for the princely sum of around a tenner, I'm a new woman! 😀

These are horrific!

If you haven't got anything nice to say ...

@Tabitha005 thank you. I have been paying more attention to my legs, shaving regularly and moisturising every night. I've also worn shorts this year for the first time I can remember, apart from as a child! They're still pale and I'm toying with the idea of fake tan, as they just don't tan easily, but hate the smell of it.

Can someone suggest some wide legged trousers that are still comfortable? I'm ND so stick to comfortable clothes, can't deal with tight waistbands.

Forgot to mention, I have been measured for a bra at Bravissimo and buy all my bras there or from Vinted but stick with ones they recommended, Panache Tango plunge.

@justlass I got my current favourite wide-leg trousers from La Redoute: https://www.laredoute.co.uk/ppdp/prod-350293846.aspx#searchkeyword=Wide%20leg%20trousers&shoppingtool=search

I usually size up when shopping from La Redoute as their sizing does tend to come up slightly smaller. I usually order two sizes - my usual size and the size above and then send one back.

I've also got these, they used to do them in a camel colour (which I bought), but the navy are nice, too: https://www.laredoute.co.uk/ppdp/prod-350314116.aspx?docid=221823&dim1=1#searchkeyword=Wide%20leg%20trousers&shoppingtool=search

Both of these styles have elasticated waists at the back and, for me, I find that much more comfortable than a fixed waistband. These trousers look fab with chunky trainers.

I also bought some cargo-style trousers from Vinted in a pale khaki colour - they're cuffed at the ankles, but I wear 'em with a pair of Nike high-tops, tight vest (I've got some of those shapewear-type vests that give good support) and a billowy shirt open but either tucked in or half tucked in (see 'French tuck') and a punky-style belt - I bought two from a company online called 'Lowlife' that do all sizes and are great quality.

You can definitely wear a belt - just wear it higher, at the narrowest part of your waist and definitely not on your hips! This is why high waists are better for our apple shape as we're defining our waist at the point where we feel it suits us and not where the majority of clothing says a waist is. Anything that sits on my hips is an absolute 'no' for my own shape.

Finding your style can be tough - I struggled for YEARS in skinny jeans and leggings that just weren't doing anything for me and it was demoralising to keep going shopping and not find anything I felt really suited me. This is why I love sites like Vinted - for a few quid you can try out all sorts of styles and, if they don't suit you, you can just bung it back on the site and re-sell it.

Howabout dungarees?
No waistband so super comfortable
Roll the bottoms up for a more stylish look.

Thank you 😊 They are very wide! I'm a bit scared but will see what I can find on Vinted to ease myself in slowly 😂 I'd probably go with navy. Not sure about tops.

I do spend a lot of my free time walking, so need something comfy that's ok with trainers, not fashion trainers but comfy trainers, although I can walk in my Converse.

I haven't tried any because I thought I'd look like a sack of potatoes in them 🫣😂

River Island does some really nice wide-leg styles at the moment: https://www.riverisland.com/c/women/trousers?f-cat=wide-leg-trousers&gclid=CjwKCAjww7KmBhAyEiwA5-PUSqkENUCz2s4jRqFJP_DWuT1r3JOLQkYxxNZWdnRyvy92nM34N5UonxoCuzYQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I've got a pair of 'vintage' Dickies dungarees that my husband bought me from eBay. I usually wear a long-sleeved t-shirt underneath. I tend to wear them more for around the garden or running to the supermarket than dressing them up but you got me thinking... with a sequinned t-shirt and a pair of heels they could be an interesting choice for a night out!

I don't tend to think of any sort of clothing as off-limits, if it suits me and I feel good in it, I wear it! Women get fed all sorts of shit about what we're 'supposed' to be wearing and how we 'should' look and whether certain clothes and styles are 'appropriate' at certain ages but I say screw THAT.

Your personal style SHOULD make you feel good about yourself and confident at any age.