Help me find my style

[justlass]

I've just seen a photo of myself today and I'm horrified! I know I'm overweight, I'm size 16, no waist, apple shaped, large tummy, legs ok ish, but big calves I guess, size 34/36ff or g bra size, dark below shoulders curly hair, brown eyes, 5 foot 7.

I tend to wear jeans with vest tops and cardigan in summer and jeans with quite long hoodies or jumpers in winter, with either Converse or ankle boots.

I thought I looked ok until I saw the photos. I'll try and attach one. My stomach looks huge, I look scruffy.

I tend to buy things off eBay or Vinted because I'm on a very low budget, the disadvantage is of course that sometimes clothes are too small or awful condition etc.

I don't have many stores nearby, so mainly shop online. I can't get to John Lewis or Debenhams for a consultation about what suits me and I can't afford to have my colours done.

I've tried looking at influencers, but can't find anyone who wears the sort of clothes I wear. I don't need going out clothes or work clothes, just casual wear. Plus they're all slimmer or larger.

Any ideas or advice? Just been feeling really down about myself recently and feel I need to change something but want to still feel comfortable.

Love all those especially small print top and bright blue. Could easily wear for lunch out and nights out etc.

I don't think it's so much that you misunderstood the advice, but that a lot of the advice is conflicting, and based on posters' personal ideas of style - and the truth is there is no right or wrong way to dress . I think a lot of posters have thought that you wanted to look a little smarter, hence the suggestions for blazers, but if that wouldn't suit your lifestyle then there would be no point in buying one, particularly if you have limited funds .

I think you've actually got some nice clothes in your wardrobe OP. I think you may have been having a bad day and feeling unhappy with yourself when you posted your OP.

I agree with the idea of trying to get a full length mirror and have s good try on if what you've got - perhaps pairing things together you wouldn't otherwise and seeing where there are gaps before you buy anything new .

Also - have a look at the 'what we are wearing today' thread to see a few people with very different styles - but presumably comfortable in themselves as they are all posting on here .

I hadn't thought of it like that, but probably true. I guess I do want to look better put together, rather than smarter per se, dress to suit my body. I dislike photos of myself anyway, so that probably triggered the outburst 😳

I have ordered a full length mirror at last 😀

You don’t look scruffy or frumpy! But if you want a more ‘done’ look- are your jeans high waisted? If so tuck your top in, maybe add a belt. Roll your jeans a bit at the bottom and get a better fitting bra to give you a bit more lift (or possibly just shorten the straps if they have stretched a bit).

Thanks 😊 Yes I think the bra straps have stretched a bit, otherwise it fits well.

I've meaning to come on to post exactly what @Howlingmoor said. I always feel less put together if I'm not tucked in, belt etc.
be kind to yourself OP, it was a quick snap taken of you probably without you posing.
You are doing the right thing to lay everything out see what works together and sell / donate the rest.
Ironing clothes goes a huge way to looking good, personally I'd stay away from prints as you'll get more mileage from things that go well together.
You've mentioned you wear converse a few times, remove the laces and soak in bleach then stick the shoes in the washing machine with a old towel re do the laces horizontal not crossed, it looks tidier.
I know your short on cash so I'd try and cull as much first, get some money then buy capsule outfits together rather than just buying odd things that don't work with what you have.
FWIW, that outfit would have looked totally different with a white tank tucked in, belt, jeans turned up a little - without the bag. So if you love the cardigan - keep it!

Thank you.

I'm having a real problem with the bag issue. I do need a certain size to hold the things I always have with me, I wear it across my body to also make sure no one grabs it off me, and also so it doesn't slip off my shoulder, and so I can easily get at stuff in it. If I'm out with my mum I'm arm in atm with her as she isn't very steady these days, if I'm with DP we're holding hands .. It's just easier wearing it across my body, but I get that it doesn't look great. I just can't come up with a solution.

@justlass
There is nothing wrong with a bag needing to be practical, but you've asked for help with your style and that particular bag isn't doing you any favours.
It's unstructured and due to that you can see it looks full which might be adding to you feeling scruffy, on top of that everything in your outfit lacks any structure or detail which collectively is compounding the issue. Try alternative cross body shapes maybe something higher and not something flat or pouch like if that makes sense. Cross body bags are still everywhere, camera bag might be a good size / style option?

Thanks. I'll have a look. It was particularly full that day, as I'd stuffed a rain coat in because the weather was unpredictable! I know it's dull and scruffy though.

Op I know what you mean about blazers but they give you more definition especially shoulders! Ther are some Jersey ones on the m and s sale . They r like a posh cardy! Again check out Trinny on YouTube

If a blazer doesn't suit your lifestyle there's no point buying one as you won't wear it. Instead you could look at a cardigan with a collar so long as it is not too long - waist length is good. Buy it so it is not baggy (so it gives you some shape) and wear it with the neck open over a vest or t shirt. Its expensive and the wrong colour (cardigans are good for bringing in a brighter colour) but this is the style I mean

https://www.hobbs.com/product/dawn-cotton-wool-knitted-jacket/0222-9040-9044L00-DARK-PINE-XS.html?istCompanyId=824f54ea-0a39-4058-b121-eab9ef4683b0&istFeedId=a9d2ecb5-7948-4311-bf28-478db37f38b6&istItemId=rxtllqrti&istBid=t&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=18056921002&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=18056921002&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1LvPo8DPgAMVt4loCR2AgAIbEAQYFSABEgKF3fD_BwE

Boden do a similar style so worth looking out for them in charity shops

That's a lovely cardigan, I like that shape and with the collar. I'll keep an eye open for something similar, I think it would suit me better than a blazer, from a life style point of view.

I really like that style. They sometimes have shawl collared cardigans or knitted blazers on tkmaxx.com - I found a sea-green Edina Ronay one there really cheaply that, even though it was bright, I could wear with almost anything.

I like these kinds of things for structured cover ups :

https://www.vinted.co.uk/women/clothes/jumpers-and-sweaters/hoodies-and-sweatshirts/3334435002-knitted-bomber-jacket

https://www.vinted.co.uk/women/clothes/coats-and-jackets/jackets/bomber-jackets/3111595021-river-island-alternative-bomber-jacket-silky-an-knit-dusty-pink-size-16

https://www.vinted.co.uk/women/clothes/coats-and-jackets/jackets/1472597971-bomber-jacket-with-knitted-collar-cuffs-primark-size-16

And I think this jacket would be easy to wear and finish in the right place on your waist:

https://www.vinted.co.uk/women/clothes/outerwear/jackets/field-and-utility-jackets/2693346476-relaxed-jacket

THe problem with bomber jackets if you are large of nork is that the cut is not flattering so it hangs off the bust and gives very little shape underneath making you look as wide under the bust as you are around it - an asymmetrical zipped biker in a soft fabric might work better as it usually has a bit of underbust definition.

I think you look fine. Upgrade the cardigan and wear a navy crossbody bag. You have a uniform that works. Stick with it

I am apple shaped.
I have a Summer uniform of tunic dresses with white trainers. (Weird fish are good and you can order online).
To cheer you up - having good(ish) legs and being on the taller side means our bodies are relatively easy to dress.

How is it going OP
Do you think this thread has been helpful at all?

This reel popped up on my newsfeed just now and I immediately thought of you. Showing blazers, scarves, tuck ins etc. thought it may help you visualise. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CveE-uGohLY/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==