Aibu upset sil wore at our wedding

[Monkeynuts57]

We recently got married and we have just got our photos back and I felt upset and annoyed at what sil wore to our wedding and I thought it was odd but prepared to be told if I Abu , even though personally it’s not what I would choose for a wedding. it was cream basically same colour as my dress I feel upset and all photos will remind me of this.
I have attached a link of similar but not exactly the same outfit

https://m-uk.cupshe.com/products/romance-bow-one-shoulder-jumpsuit?gbraid=0AAAAABWndwb4E-ZBgd2rr4zFLwKsJ97QT&gclid=Cj0KCQjwmZejBhC_ARIsAGhCqncAdTT5MhokrQRyxiDNKHE2JbioCsaJs0hz4MFqyO60mag9C0evdEQaAqUEEALw_wcB&utm_campaign=UK-PMAX-Jumpsuits-20220921&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_term=%7B17157404823%7D_%7B%7D&variant=42306334949567

She’s generally just a nasty attention-seeker.

We just ignored her. Worked a treat.

This wasn’t a once-off in terms of her behaviour so I have very little interaction with her now and it’s great. I let DH deal with her.

Americans have no excuse. Miss Manners has spoken.
https://www.uexpress.com/life/miss-manners/2018/08/14

The thing is most of us don’t go to enough weddings that we can just learn the etiquette casually through imitation the way you can with manners relating to eating, drinking and other common activities. What source would you suggest?

YABU to get upset over this. As PP, it’s a jumpsuit. Move on.

Totally unreasonable. Don't understand why you would care what anyone else wore. Just because it is your wedding doesn't mean you can dictate what your guests wear.

Actually just realised that my mum's outfit at my wedding was off-white! No one mentioned it and I didn't think anything of it till seeing this thread (I got married 20 years ago!)

What source? Use your own judgement & preference, ask or observe what is the normative in your mileu. Does that suit you or are you happy to chose yourself

Refer you back to my first response to you, I have no idea why you’re throwing nonsense about inciting vogue as arbiters in my direction. I do not care.

For someone who doesn’t care you’re very vexed

Evening dos here (England) seem to be increasingly important these days. In the 80s lots of the weddings I went to didn't have evening dos at all. I don't think I've been to a wedding in 30 years that has ended with the traditional send-off to the bride and groom leaving in their "going away" outfits.

You are completely right. Evening do’s weren’t a thing hence the couple going off with cans tied to the car etc on honeymoon. It never occurred that literally no one does this anymore .

That’s just not a practical solution. A wedding may well take me out of my milieu. Before the age of twenty-five, I went to two weddings, one of which I was too young to remember. The first time I went as an adult, I knew the bride but had no contact details for anyone else and had only met a few of the other guests. I didn’t know anyone very well. Even at my own wedding, neither of us had met two of the guests before.
Happiness is knowing what to do. Making it up as you go along is just not satisfactory.

If this bothers you then you'll be divorced in a couple of years 😂

Get some perspective.

what Is wrong with you? You reply to me with something utterly irrelevant. Did you ray the wrong person and can’t admit it?

She was trying to draw attention and did it on purpose. I bet people judged her poorly for her stunt. Lack of class and showed who she really is.

Yes, you probably are.

Get A Life is hardly the most nice intelligent adult reply.

This. Probably the same posters.

Absolutely.

I wonder how many posters who claim they have never heard this thing are going to wear white to the next wedding they go to. If they do then it says a lot about them.

Says a lot does it? I’d say it says I’m not encumbered by made up rules & moribund etiquette
Fortunately, neither are the B&G of weddings I have attended, their only instruction is have fun. They’re happy grounded and don’t cast aspersions or see guests attire as a behaviour to be weaponised

I don't even understand how passionate you are being against not wearing it. Is white your favourite colour?

"I never understand the upset at people wearing white or cream at weddings. Everyone knows youwere the bride, not her, why let it spoil your memories of a lovely day?"

If the bride is in a big puffy meringue with a veil or something, yes. If the bride is wearing a plain and simple white dress like many people do for a civil or second wedding, then yes, there could be confusion.

Maybe, but it always seems like a straw man argument to me.
That it unbalances the photographs is the best practical argument I’ve heard, but you shouldn’t really need one. Whatever the origin of the thing, it’s just rude.
Other rules such as not leaving before the couple have disappeared because that’s not very practical and nobody cares. Not wearing white lives on because it’s not difficult and people do care.

People are so odd about weddings.
So many rules and anxieties about things that really shouldn’t matter.

If you love your DH and the wedding otherwise passed without any drama I would not bat an eyelid at something as insignificant as what colour outfit a guest wore.

But the “rules” come from a place of making the wedding special to the bride. Most brides wear white so it’s just the done thing not to wear white .
Guests could equally turn up in their best jeans or club wear and say why does it matter. They don’t because it’s not their day.

And if the bride doesn’t care about white that’s fine. It’s not the law. I had a casual wedding dress code so people wore nice clothes that they liked.

Rule used to be white dress if you’re a virgin,otherwise no white dress. Nowwho adheres to that rule now days?
if divorced can’t remarry in church/chapel
Cohabitation was living in sin. I quite like this description makes the mundane sound seditious

⬆️Rules my old intolerant relative liked to recite. Fortunately no one listened to her

The rules do change over time. If brides want to wear white and not be virgins they can because it’s their wedding. They can address the guests wearing white at their wedding if they want. Or live in sin or get divorced and remarry in church.

Its still not up to the guests to risk being rude at someone else’s wedding.