Aibu upset sil wore at our wedding

[Monkeynuts57]

We recently got married and we have just got our photos back and I felt upset and annoyed at what sil wore to our wedding and I thought it was odd but prepared to be told if I Abu , even though personally it’s not what I would choose for a wedding. it was cream basically same colour as my dress I feel upset and all photos will remind me of this.
I have attached a link of similar but not exactly the same outfit

https://m-uk.cupshe.com/products/romance-bow-one-shoulder-jumpsuit?gbraid=0AAAAABWndwb4E-ZBgd2rr4zFLwKsJ97QT&gclid=Cj0KCQjwmZejBhC_ARIsAGhCqncAdTT5MhokrQRyxiDNKHE2JbioCsaJs0hz4MFqyO60mag9C0evdEQaAqUEEALw_wcB&utm_campaign=UK-PMAX-Jumpsuits-20220921&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_term=%7B17157404823%7D_%7B%7D&variant=42306334949567

Regardless of whether it’s an accepted rule or not, there’s definitely nothing ‘perfectly rational’ about this one, which boils down to ‘not wanting to be upstaged on your Special Day’.

Reminder: nobody upstages the bride on her wedding day.

Reminder 2: if you (generic) try to upstage a bride on her wedding day, the only one who's going to look foolish is you.

My mate got married wearing a white jumpsuit and she looked ace.

However I don't see the issue about guests wearing white. Everyone knows who the bride is. Total non issue.

She would look quite bridal in any hoot sitting down or standing up but still. It wouldn’t have upset me though. More amused me that she had outed herself to be such a dick.

It’s long, it’s cream and it’s off the shoulder. She was a twat to wear it.

Whether the rule is rational or not is irrelevant. It’s reasonable to be upset by someone breaking any rule if it shows disrespect - not that it should ruin your life but you don’t need to pretend nothing happened.

It’s a beautiful jumpsuit. But she doesn’t look like a bride.

Its white or cream. Which are the colours traditionally reserved for the bride.
Matters not if she looked bridal or not.

Also you don’t go in full bling, wear anything too revealing or dress to upstage the bride in any way. Other rules for people to argue with.

I think it was insensitive of her to wear cream to your wedding - I can imagine it would affect your photos. What was your relationship with her before the wedding like?
BUT - you need to draw a line in the sand and move on now. She can't ruin your wedding or your memories...only you can do that. You need to shift your focus to what you liked about the day and the concept you are now married! Congratulations!
BTW we all have wedding day horrors - maybe you could consider posting asking for wedding day bloopers so you can see that others have had similarly (or worst) things happen and they still have nice memories of the day. It might be inspiring.
Other people's experiences do not diminish your own feelings - you have a right to those - but they might help you put things into perspective. I read an article recently about a woman whose mother tragically died the morning of her wedding. My heart completely went out to her. But there is inspiration in her story because she bravely went ahead with the ceremony because she knew it was what her mother would have wanted.

Sorry but get over it. It is not important.

Of course it's not only a Mumsnet thing, though I suspect it may be an English (or perhaps British) thing.

It's certainly been a 'rule' ever since I started going to weddings and I'm in my 60s. Similarly, I would consider black to be inappropriate.

The exception is for bridesmaids, if that is what the bride chooses. Going by the old photos I have of family weddings (going back to the 1920s) I'd say white is probably the traditional colour for bridesmaids.

In the US it doesn't seem to be the case. We have been to a couple of weddings where a number of guests wore white or black. I wonder whether it's because weddings there may be seen more as evening events and people dress accordingly: men in dinner jackets and women in cocktail-type dresses.

Evening dos here (England) seem to be increasingly important these days. In the 80s lots of the weddings I went to didn't have evening dos at all. I don't think I've been to a wedding in 30 years that has ended with the traditional send-off to the bride and groom leaving in their "going away" outfits.

I think it’s lovely. I wouldn’t have thought twice about someone wearing it. What is it with this old fashioned thing of not wearing white or cream? People live in sin and have children out of wedlock these days too, shock horror!

Can you have the photos modified to colour her outfit?

No idea if that's a 'thing' but it may annoy you less when you look at them in the future.

Are you this awful in real life?

OP never said that's all she remembers about her wedding day.

I’d be tempted to photo shop all the photos and simply change the colour of her outfit 😂😂

one more time. Get. A. Life 😂

Hmm I don't think it's that big a deal personally. I see people wearing cream all the time. 🤷‍♀️ sorry. You were the bride. Everyone knows that.

I think you're letting your feelings about her colour your judgment on this.

Get her outfit tinted by photoshop if you are letting it really bother you.

Personally I'd not let it bother you.

I didn't 🤷‍♀️

Seems like plenty of others didn't either.

Though on the whole I find wedding etiquette pretty ridiculous. It all seems like a giant opportunity to take offence.

I didn't 🤷‍♀️*

Seems like plenty of others didn't either.

Though on the whole I find wedding etiquette pretty ridiculous. It all seems like a giant opportunity to take offence.*

Agree.

Maybe it's a "thing" for older generations. But times have changed. It's not the 50s anymore. It's always really clear who the bride is.

I suppose we're more obsessed with "the photos" now so maybe that's a new "thing".

Yes, the photos have become the event. It's insane.

At my cousin's wedding last September the photographer was instructed to take informal shots all day. And all bloody evening. He kept muscling his way into conversations and dancing to show what a wonderful joyful hilarious time everyone was having as they chatted and laughed . I justed to shout "oh just FUCK off!". There were friends and relatives I hadn't seen for ages - it was so intrusive!

I understand why you are upset and I think she was insensitive and selfish to dress like that. BUT - you need to get over it and put it behind you. Move on! Don’t let her mess with your head and spoil your wedding day and future life, it’s only yourself you are harming. I’m sure nobody really noticed and that none had any trouble knowing who the bride was.

I didn’t say you cited vogue. Someone else did reference vogue,as if it’s irrefutable source.

OK the colour is similar but the style nothing like. Personally, I think YABU.

I would try to let it go. No one is going to think of your wedding much now it's over, except you and your husband. Even if reminded, I doubt anyone will recall the event as the one where a guest wore a cream jumpsuit, but the one at which you both looked really happy/ they vomited in a bush/ the speeches were hilarious etc etc.

Do you have problems with your SIL and so are wallowing in this memory to fuel your dislike of her?

Then tag them rather than harping on about vogue to me.

My MIL dressed my teen SIL in a white wedding dress for my wedding. I was wearing ivory so the whiteness of the dress was deafening. It's because she'd wanted SIL to be a bridesmaid and I'd said no. (Various reasons why not, all perfectly justifiable).

Do you understand the premise of mn?we all post our opinions.musings and you are of course free to agree or disagree. you don’t get to instruct posters what to post or include and I don’t need or seek your approval on what I recall or reference on a thread. If you consider my post to be harping on frankly that is tough titty. I won’t be changing what or how I post to accommodate your preferences. In fact I’ll harp on as I wish.