Page 14 | Aibu upset sil wore at our wedding

SargentSagittarius · 19/05/2023 19:15

In fact, I can’t quite believe how much you’ve missed my point, @Tiddlypomtiddlypom .

No, not ‘bride = wrong for <insert literally anything here>’

Exactly the opposite. Bride = absolutely fine. Weird attention seekers who shouldn’t be given the attention they’re seeking = wrong.

Twentyfirstcenturymumma · 19/05/2023 19:32

Why shouldn't she wear a jump suit to her own wedding? SIL should have consulted at least

Sparklynewcareer · 19/05/2023 19:32

Even though it’s a jumpsuit - only the bride wears pure white or cream to a wedding
YANBU
sorry everyone knows that rule. Literally every other colour is available!
why anyone does this is beyond me!! Just pick something else!

Monimom · 19/05/2023 19:32

Unless she was standing with legs very much akimbo in photos this would look like a floor length white gown - a traditionall bridal dress... so you are absolutely NOT BU.
Good on you for drawing a line under it now. Many congrats of your marriage.

GoneTillNovember · 19/05/2023 19:35

I'm pretty relaxed about wedding attire but I do agree with you OP.

My aunt, who I'm not really close to, wore a full length white floaty gown to my wedding. Honestly in the photos it looks like a double wedding. 😏 She also got up on stage and started playing with the band (unasked) because her talents were obviously too much to try to hide from the guests.

14 years ago and it now makes me laugh. I don't think I've actually seen her since my wedding day.

VWHoliday · 19/05/2023 19:43

Zone2NorthLondon · 19/05/2023 18:05

No it’s Simply not a universal rule,it’s a preference some have not a mandatory rule

Show quote history

You were on another thread about it. Why won't you admit it's a thing?

pineapplecrushed · 19/05/2023 19:50

I'm surprised at the responses here. It is totally inappropriate, being completely cream in colour, and the top is quite bridal imho. I'm not usually one to make big deals about this stuff (me and my partner aren't married - not bothered)....but this is off.

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/05/2023 19:56

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 19/05/2023 18:57

It's so not a MN-only thing.

Here is French Elle on the question, for example.

That just asks the question. Need to subscribe to get the answer… but I think it’s a faux pas. Especially the dress on the article.

BurbageBrook · 19/05/2023 20:17

It's inappropriate for a wedding, but I'd just think she was ignorant of etiquette and wouldn't let it bother me too much.

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 19/05/2023 20:31

Batshitkerazy · 19/05/2023 18:59

If someone posted a link to this jumpsuit saying is this ok to wear to a wedding,I can guarantee that they would be torn apart in the comments

EXACTLY! By all the same posters on here that are full of faux ‘what the fuck is wrong with wearing white to a stupid horrible wedding? I bet she looked fucking stunning.’

😆

And YES to the photoshopping it to a grubby colour. Inspired.

tatteddear · 19/05/2023 20:42

My own mum wore a cream lace jumpsuit to my wedding. Weirdly no one mistook her for the bride. I didnt care at all. I really don't understand why people get so mad about this sort of stuff .

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 19/05/2023 20:56

SargentSagittarius · 19/05/2023 19:12

The women at the weddings you went to ‘looked mental’, was a sloppy drunk’, ‘flirting with other people’s partners/husbands’.

You say yourself: ‘the brides were both affected by their attempts to make them look foolish. Even though they didn’t’.

Of course the brides didn’t look foolish! That’s my entire point. The only person who looked foolish was the ‘mental, sloppy, drunk, flirting’ mad women. Or the attention seeking MIL (pro tip, which the bride was obviously well aware of: if you think someone’s attention seeking - don’t give them any attention!).

But by all means, continue helping the OP to feel wronged and aggrieved.

Instead of pointing out that the ONLY person anyone will be judging is the person who made the faux pas. Not her.

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The brides were hurt by the women’s attempts to make them look foolish. Which is the only explanation for their actions, knowing the women as I do (and you don’t, I presume. You could be one of them, for all I know). Whether those attempts were successful, is irrelevant.

The two women (MIL and SIL, separate families) tried to humiliate the brides and get a rise out of them by wearing white. It was also them clearly letting everyone know their thoughts on the women chosen by their son and brother. (The SIL hated ANY girl the brother saw. She became deeply territorial about her brother, particularly when pissed, and it used to make his skin crawl as it was so weird). Sadly, the grooms felt the most humiliated, by their mum and sister’s public display of not liking their wives.

The MIL accompanied her actions by slagging the bride off in the toilet to anyone who would listen.

So in my case, both times I witnessed the ‘wearing white’, it was spiteful and designed to hurt a bride, even if the outcome was a hurt groom and the wear-ee being the one that looked a twat.

FreddieMercurysCat · 19/05/2023 20:57

YABU.

WhatWouldJeevesDo · 19/05/2023 21:36

To the people who don’t understand why it might be upsetting: have you never been upset by someone failing to thank you, failing to ask nicely, failing to reciprocate hospitality, failing to acknowledge your presence, failing to listen to you, or any other etiquette failure?
Surely enough people think it’s a rule, enough people have been told by our mothers that it is a rule, for the belief that it is a rule to be perfectly rational.

MyNDfamily · 19/05/2023 21:50

Monkeynuts57 · 18/05/2023 19:54

We recently got married and we have just got our photos back and I felt upset and annoyed at what sil wore to our wedding and I thought it was odd but prepared to be told if I Abu , even though personally it’s not what I would choose for a wedding. it was cream basically same colour as my dress I feel upset and all photos will remind me of this.
I have attached a link of similar but not exactly the same outfit

https://m-uk.cupshe.com/products/romance-bow-one-shoulder-jumpsuit?gbraid=0AAAAABWndwb4E-ZBgd2rr4zFLwKsJ97QT&gclid=Cj0KCQjwmZejBhC_ARIsAGhCqncAdTT5MhokrQRyxiDNKHE2JbioCsaJs0hz4MFqyO60mag9C0evdEQaAqUEEALw_wcB&utm_campaign=UK-PMAX-Jumpsuits-20220921&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_term=%7B17157404823%7D_%7B%7D&variant=42306334949567

No YANBU people no it's rude to wear white to a wedding, she could have picked a different colour tbh.

VWHoliday · 19/05/2023 21:55

tatteddear · 19/05/2023 20:42

My own mum wore a cream lace jumpsuit to my wedding. Weirdly no one mistook her for the bride. I didnt care at all. I really don't understand why people get so mad about this sort of stuff .

Cream lace jumpsuit - I have no words.

VWHoliday · 19/05/2023 21:57

GoneTillNovember · 19/05/2023 19:35

I'm pretty relaxed about wedding attire but I do agree with you OP.

My aunt, who I'm not really close to, wore a full length white floaty gown to my wedding. Honestly in the photos it looks like a double wedding. 😏 She also got up on stage and started playing with the band (unasked) because her talents were obviously too much to try to hide from the guests.

14 years ago and it now makes me laugh. I don't think I've actually seen her since my wedding day.

There will still be people posting that what your Aunt did was normal behaviour.

VWHoliday · 19/05/2023 22:05

Why do so many people not know this thing which has been around for such a long time?

tatteddear · 19/05/2023 22:09

@VWHoliday she looked great in it. I had no issue with it all. She was 68 and I was 24-I can guarantee no one confused her as being the bride

VWHoliday · 19/05/2023 22:12

tatteddear · 19/05/2023 22:09

@VWHoliday she looked great in it. I had no issue with it all. She was 68 and I was 24-I can guarantee no one confused her as being the bride

Sorry, its not something I would wear but if she felt good and you were fine with it then great.

Aprilsh0wers · 19/05/2023 22:46

Easier said than done but genuinely try asking yourself why this is so upsetting for you. Think about it, all the men who attend weddings practically wear the same as the groom and no one compares the groom to other male guests. There has been so much pressure put on the bride looking outstanding and better than everyone who attends and it’s so needless. Your wedding day was about you and your husband and your life together. Don’t buy in to the bullshit that decades worth of sexism has made you believe.

Even if she wore a cream dress instead of a cream jumpsuit, you were the bride and it was your big day with your husband. The rest really doesn’t matter. It’s all complete bollocks. You deserve to feel happy that you are now married, don’t let these things overshadow the meaning of the day for you.

mdinbc · 19/05/2023 22:55

I think it was an inappropriate choice for her, and I can only hope she was just unaware of the etiquette.

I have a very cute white with pink collar and sash dress for my grand daughter, (6) but won't give it to her until after my son's wedding, just in case anyone mistakes her for an attendant.

BettySwallocks · 19/05/2023 23:40

Are you happily married?
If yes.....move on!

My wedding, 2 guests in pure white dresses ( one almost floor length and lacey)
A professional video recorder who was off his tits on whiz and it showed in the results.
An aged relative talking very loudly through all the speeches

And I consider it was a good day!

Of all the things that could have gone wrong on the day, I think I was lucky.

You have to move on and enjoy being a Mrs

Hellomotto2 · 20/05/2023 00:14

How boring was your wedding if that’s the lasting memory … Get a life, I didn’t even notice what people wore to my wedding, just delighted to have everybody there because life is too short to worry about a stupid outfit. You obviously don’t like your SIL either.

Aslanplustwo · 20/05/2023 02:21

WhatWouldJeevesDo · 19/05/2023 21:36

To the people who don’t understand why it might be upsetting: have you never been upset by someone failing to thank you, failing to ask nicely, failing to reciprocate hospitality, failing to acknowledge your presence, failing to listen to you, or any other etiquette failure?
Surely enough people think it’s a rule, enough people have been told by our mothers that it is a rule, for the belief that it is a rule to be perfectly rational.

No, I don't get "upset" by the things you mention. I might think "how rude!", but something so trivial would not upset me

Nor would a SIL wearing a cream jumpsuit upset me. My own MIL wore cream to my wedding (I wore cream, and she made my dress). Couldn't have cared less. I never fail to be amazed by the ridiculous silly things which "upset" many on MN, and can't help but wonder how on earth they cope with the big things which can go wrong in life.