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Original poster

Which top?

661 replies

OldGrannyish · 22/04/2023 14:54

Friend's 50th birthday. DH doesn't like one because it's too grannyish and MIL says that one is better (but then, she is a granny!)
Which is better? I prefer one over the other, but my fashion sense is questionable

Black jeans and probably a dark blue (or black?) cardigan with it

Which top?
Which top?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
91
FancyFanny · 28/04/2023 22:37

Ivebeenframed · 28/04/2023 14:11

More from Roman

Noooo!!! Those tops are all so dated! THey're what everyone was wearing with skinny jeans about 15 years ago!

FancyFanny · 28/04/2023 22:40

OP obviously left the thread!

DannyZukosSmile · 28/04/2023 22:44

FancyFanny · 28/04/2023 22:40

OP obviously left the thread!

I don't blame her. Many people on here have been nasty, judgy, and mean-spirited. No wonder she didn't come back.

Rosti1981 · 29/04/2023 06:35

She's gone out to her party looking fabulous in whatever she feels most comfortable in 🤩

Original poster
OldGrannyish · 29/04/2023 06:41

I've kept the red and green ones, sent the others back. I did like the sparkly one except for the little puffiness around the sleeves.

I wouldn't know what to wear if not bootcut. My mum took me to some department store when I was a teenager. I was told boot cut balances out the hips and hides the feet and as I'm tall it's the only cut that suits me. Also I should never wear trousers without detailing (like rear pockets) else it accentuates how big I look. Day to day, I have a selection of These and These next tops and wear them with a fleece or denim jacket plus bootcut jeans depending on the weather. With either black trainers, purple DM's or walking shoes.

I'll wear my black heels.

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OP posts:
dogbeddestroyer · 29/04/2023 06:51

You have a fantastic figure.

I am really rather envious.

rileynexttime · 29/04/2023 07:21

Also I should never wear trousers without detailing (like rear pockets) else it accentuates how big I look.

@OldGrannyish YOU ARE NOT" BIG "!!!!!

TolkiensFallow · 29/04/2023 07:43

The red top will look nice with black jeans and black heels. you will not look ridiculous and hopefully you will feel good.

However, you are not big! You are a normal pear shaped woman. You would look lovely in a fit and flare dress with tights/leggings and your dm’s.

FancyFanny · 29/04/2023 07:45

OP, there's nothing wrong with bootcuts but forget that advice about them being the only ones you can wear- experiment with different cuts of trousers to see which looks best. Sometimes, just a different style of top or shoes changes how your jeans flatter you or changing from a low to a high waist trouser. Also, changing fashion dictates what we 'see' to be flattering. Bootcuts have been a no-go for about 15 years and we all though we looked fabulous in our skinny jeans while those in bootcuts were unfashionable and frumpy. Now fashion has gone the other way- bootcuts are fine and loose wide legs even better. (I'm sooo happy to see the return of the wide-legged jean)

The way you dress is very safe and a bit dated- have some courage to wear something a bit different, after all what's going to happen if you get it a bit wrong sometimes? I look back at some things I've worn and think 'woah...", but I've never regretted it- it's something to think back on with a laugh. You should see the colourful jacket I've got on a thread on here- some hate it, some love- I'm going to wear it anyway...

Millicentmargaretamandaholden · 29/04/2023 07:52

dogbeddestroyer · 29/04/2023 06:51

You have a fantastic figure.

I am really rather envious.

… and even if you were that’s quite outdated advice. People of all shapes and sizes look great in lots of different styles -I definitely see this just walking around.

You look great and can have more fun and experiment with clothes if you want to. It doesn’t have to be expensive Vinted and EBay are great.

But it feels like Trinny and Suzanne held you hostage in your youth and even though you are a grown woman who escaped you have Stockholm syndrome and identify with your captors (a bit of hyperbole for effect). There’s a bit of noughties body hating thrown in too. Just a hunch I think being happy in our own skin and feeling happy and comfortable to express that through our clothes can only be a good thing.

Millicentmargaretamandaholden · 29/04/2023 07:55

rileynexttime · 29/04/2023 07:21

Also I should never wear trousers without detailing (like rear pockets) else it accentuates how big I look.

@OldGrannyish YOU ARE NOT" BIG "!!!!!

Blinking Aida! I quoted the wrong post.

You do have a fantastic figure!

My point is you are not “Big” but even if you were there are loads of beautiful stylish “big” people

inappropriateraspberry · 29/04/2023 08:41

OldGrannyish · 29/04/2023 06:41

I've kept the red and green ones, sent the others back. I did like the sparkly one except for the little puffiness around the sleeves.

I wouldn't know what to wear if not bootcut. My mum took me to some department store when I was a teenager. I was told boot cut balances out the hips and hides the feet and as I'm tall it's the only cut that suits me. Also I should never wear trousers without detailing (like rear pockets) else it accentuates how big I look. Day to day, I have a selection of These and These next tops and wear them with a fleece or denim jacket plus bootcut jeans depending on the weather. With either black trainers, purple DM's or walking shoes.

I'll wear my black heels.

You are not a teenager any more! Plus, that was advice given in the 90s - styles (and you) have changed. You are not big, you could wear so many lovely things and look fabulous.
Perhaps you could ask a friend to go shopping with you one day and help you try on some different things. You don't have to buy, but it would definitely help you see how great you could look.

rileynexttime · 29/04/2023 08:47

@Millicentmargaretamandaholden But it feels like Trinny and Suzanne held you hostage in your youth and even though you are a grown woman who escaped you have Stockholm syndrome and identify with your captors (a bit of hyperbole for effect). There’s a bit of noughties body hating thrown in too. Just a hunch I think being happy in our own skin and feeling happy and comfortable to express that through our clothes can only be a good thing.
^^
great post

rileynexttime · 29/04/2023 08:56

@OldGrannyish I recognise a lot of myself from your posts .Though I wasn't taken shopping my mum and listen to people telling me how to minimise what were seen as defects!

I feel really sad reading your posts ,I'm sorry if that's patronising as I think you're probably quite happy (and busy ) looking after children .But look at what you've said

What words would you use to describe how you want to look?
not like an idiot and not out of place!

I worry I'll feel like even more of an idiot

LadyEloise1 · 29/04/2023 09:48

@OldGrannyish
Could you at some point get your colours and a style edit done at House of Colour or similar or go to a John Lewis in house stylist who would help you see your no doubt great features.
A makeover would help your potential.
To my mind it would be money really well spent. You'd save wasting money on items that don't suit or age you.
Perhaps other Mumsnetters would have great suggestions of people to recommend for the OP to get a style and beauty make over.
In person rather than virtual would be great.

Rosti1981 · 29/04/2023 10:03

I think you'll look beautiful!
As a fellow not entirely sure about styles 42 year old I've found this thread really helpful. I hope you have a wonderful time at the party!

NatashaDancing · 29/04/2023 10:05

I wouldn't bother with colours. If anything I think that would limit the OP in another but different way but agree any shop that offers a personal shopper service would be great.

Like others I feel sad that a young, slim woman (come on OP , just look around you at the school gate/ shops/ buses etc, you are smaller than the average UK women) has had her confidence undermined so badly.

dogbeddestroyer · 29/04/2023 10:12

If I was you, for future you, I'd book a session with a personal stylist in John Lewis or similar. And that'll push you out of your 90s rut.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 29/04/2023 11:38

NatashaDancing · 29/04/2023 10:05

I wouldn't bother with colours. If anything I think that would limit the OP in another but different way but agree any shop that offers a personal shopper service would be great.

Like others I feel sad that a young, slim woman (come on OP , just look around you at the school gate/ shops/ buses etc, you are smaller than the average UK women) has had her confidence undermined so badly.

Agree with all of this.

HappyMe6 · 29/04/2023 12:18

I think it’s such a shame that someone so young as you hasn’t got the confidence to see what really suits you, I’d kill for your figure op seriously. It’s great idea to go into a clothes store and ask if they have a personal shopper that can help you decide! I have a friend few years older than yourself 45 that just won’t try anything different and it is a confidence thing, she also has a lovely figure. Also says the same as you do. I will feel an idiot in that so I’m not trying it and certainly not looking in the mirror. It’s a shame you don’t live near me. I’d get you to pick your fav colours and off we would go clothes searching, I think you are stuck with the out of date info you were given years ago but we have moved on from that now, I wish you well in your search op and just remember you are tall have a great figure you’ve got it all going on, I wish you could realise this.

MrsRinaDecker · 29/04/2023 16:30

I liked the red and the sequin top of the ones you posted. I hope whichever one you choose, you have a fab time at the party. x

Beeswood · 30/04/2023 16:13

I liked the red and green tops best from your selection, glad you have kept them.

LadyEloise1 · 30/04/2023 16:56

HappyMe6 · 29/04/2023 12:18

I think it’s such a shame that someone so young as you hasn’t got the confidence to see what really suits you, I’d kill for your figure op seriously. It’s great idea to go into a clothes store and ask if they have a personal shopper that can help you decide! I have a friend few years older than yourself 45 that just won’t try anything different and it is a confidence thing, she also has a lovely figure. Also says the same as you do. I will feel an idiot in that so I’m not trying it and certainly not looking in the mirror. It’s a shame you don’t live near me. I’d get you to pick your fav colours and off we would go clothes searching, I think you are stuck with the out of date info you were given years ago but we have moved on from that now, I wish you well in your search op and just remember you are tall have a great figure you’ve got it all going on, I wish you could realise this.

This 💯

LoisLane66 · 30/04/2023 20:44

From your photos IMO you need to balance your shoulders with your hips.
That means having more structure up top, lightweight shoulder pads in tops and more structure in jackets to create an hourglass shape. Then you can wear belts to show off your shape and don't say no...it works, tummy or not.
Instead of a blocky shape across your hips, your widest point (let's not be shy about it) you need to French tuck your tops to draw the eye away and a jacket or edge to edge lightweight longline 'cardigan' the same length as a skirt or dress but not one with pockets which adds bulk.
Not multiple colours. A bag, shoes and top all in different colours or all black or all navy is dreadful and Def not DMs. No no no.
I fine Melissa Murrell on YouTube, a mum in her 40s gives sound and sensible advice. She demonstrates why some things work and others don't and the people she dresses are the average woman in the street including her mum. The clothes, shoes and accessories she shows are from a range of shops including Reiss, Amazon, H&M, M&S, Primark, River Island and Zara. She shows what works and why.
I highly recommend watching her videos.

LoisLane66 · 30/04/2023 20:45

*Find not fine