Style & Beauty
Is this dress appropriate for a wedding?
hippygirllucky · 13/03/2023 08:45
My brother is getting married soon. My soon to be SIL has always been a bit distant from us and doesn't really want to get involved in any family things, which we're fine with, not everyone is the same.
They're getting married soon and she's not quite a bridezilla, but he's VERY particular about every detail. Again, fine. It's her wedding (and my brother's).
She seems particularly distant to my mum, who tries her hardest with her but she just doesn't respond. My mother is a lovely woman, the kindest soul and I know it breaks her that my SIL won't even try with her, but I think my poor soon to be SIL is so painfully shy and awkward, she's just chosen to not engage with us (they've been together 10 years).
Again, all fine. We know the deal.
My mum just showed me the dress she's planning to wear to their wedding and I was a bit shocked. I thought it was common knowledge that you NEVER wear white to a wedding. I don't think it's on purpose, but I don't think my mum has picked an appropriate dress (especially given the cold relationship with SIL!).
What do you think? Is this dress too white? I can't help but think it's particularly important given how frosty things are with the bride!
hippygirllucky · 20/03/2023 15:43
@Maireas and @RampantIvy I don't think this is necessarily just a generational thing! I think I'm a bit exasperated by it all because I had a small covid wedding, 30 people, the whole thing cost less than just the venue hire for SIL/DB wedding (we had an open bar, pub quiz because no dancing or moving from bubble was allowed, 4 course meal for everyone, that included accommodation, decorations, everything!) and given the chance and an unlimited budget I'd do it exactly the same way now! So I am very biased because I don't understand why the bride has (quite literally!!!) chosen everything, even down to what pjs IM (and the rest of the bridal party) are wearing to bed the night before...
SummaLuvin · 20/03/2023 15:48
NatashaDancing · 20/03/2023 15:43
I think one would have to be extremely precious to care. It's not a white dress.
ganvough · 20/03/2023 14:53
The dress in the centre is the same dress MIL wants to wear. See the difference in lighting and how much whiter it looks? Now imagine it outdoors in sunshine in a group photo - it will look even whiter.
It is predominantly white. From the initial pictures it appears to be a white lace overlay on a nude backdrop - which is very common in current bridal trends. It's a basic etiquette expectation that you will be the only person in a white dress at your wedding, I think it's unfair to call SIL bridezilla - as many have - because she doesn't want her MIL in a white dress. Worth remember that OP saw it in person and was concerned it was too white which is why this whole thread was started.
I also don't think caring about photos is precious, they are one of the things you keep forever to remember your wedding day, I hold mine in great importance, not to post on instagram but to look back on fondly.
Maireas · 20/03/2023 15:57
Caring about the photos is important, but like @RampantIvy says, it's a record of a happy day, not for Pinterest.
All the previous generation of my family have died now, so the wedding pictures of me and my siblings are lovely mementos. Oh, and I don't really notice what they're wearing, really, just that they look happy.
NatashaDancing · 20/03/2023 16:35
SummaLuvin · 20/03/2023 15:48
It is predominantly white. From the initial pictures it appears to be a white lace overlay on a nude backdrop - which is very common in current bridal trends. It's a basic etiquette expectation that you will be the only person in a white dress at your wedding, I think it's unfair to call SIL bridezilla - as many have - because she doesn't want her MIL in a white dress. Worth remember that OP saw it in person and was concerned it was too white which is why this whole thread was started.
I also don't think caring about photos is precious, they are one of the things you keep forever to remember your wedding day, I hold mine in great importance, not to post on instagram but to look back on fondly.
NatashaDancing · 20/03/2023 15:43
I think one would have to be extremely precious to care. It's not a white dress.
ganvough · 20/03/2023 14:53
The dress in the centre is the same dress MIL wants to wear. See the difference in lighting and how much whiter it looks? Now imagine it outdoors in sunshine in a group photo - it will look even whiter.
Don't twist things. I didn't say caring about the photos was precious.
I said making a fuss about the colour of a dress (which isn't even white) is precious.
However did people cope before colour photography? All pale dresses were white.
StatisticallyChallenged · 20/03/2023 17:48
Maireas · 20/03/2023 17:21
Yes @RampantIvy , I meant the weddings the poster was referring to, where the photos were in black and white.
Wonder if that's part of the issue; bet the bride is after lots of artsy, insta-style black and white shots. Which might well make the dress colour vanish.
But I think fundamentally the bride has an image in her head of what MOTB/MOTG should look like and this is just too casual for her ideals.
NatashaDancing · 20/03/2023 18:32
Maireas · 20/03/2023 17:21
Yes @RampantIvy , I meant the weddings the poster was referring to, where the photos were in black and white.
I referred to black and white photographs. I was being sarcastic.
I wonder if the late Queen Elizabeth fretted when looking at her wedding photos.
www.npg.org.uk/collections/search/portrait/mw248691/Wedding-of-Queen-Elizabeth-II-and-Prince-Philip-Duke-of-Edinburgh
ganvough · 20/03/2023 19:52
NatashaDancing · 20/03/2023 15:43
I think one would have to be extremely precious to care. It's not a white dress.
ganvough · 20/03/2023 14:53
The dress in the centre is the same dress MIL wants to wear. See the difference in lighting and how much whiter it looks? Now imagine it outdoors in sunshine in a group photo - it will look even whiter.
I agree it is precious to care about a dress. Someone should tell OP's mother that - it's just a dress, I'm sure one of her existing outfits would suffice. Seems silly for her to put so much time and effort into picking a new dress (as you said, OP) just for this occasion. The late Queen was a great believer in recycling outfits after all.
ganvough · 20/03/2023 20:00
NatashaDancing · 20/03/2023 18:32
I referred to black and white photographs. I was being sarcastic.
I wonder if the late Queen Elizabeth fretted when looking at her wedding photos.
www.npg.org.uk/collections/search/portrait/mw248691/Wedding-of-Queen-Elizabeth-II-and-Prince-Philip-Duke-of-Edinburgh
Maireas · 20/03/2023 17:21
Yes @RampantIvy , I meant the weddings the poster was referring to, where the photos were in black and white.
Well, given she had 2000 guests and her wedding dress cost $42,000 in post war rations ($1.6mn in today's money), I think she probably fretted a little bit.
NatashaDancing · 20/03/2023 21:05
ganvough · 20/03/2023 19:52
I agree it is precious to care about a dress. Someone should tell OP's mother that - it's just a dress, I'm sure one of her existing outfits would suffice. Seems silly for her to put so much time and effort into picking a new dress (as you said, OP) just for this occasion. The late Queen was a great believer in recycling outfits after all.
NatashaDancing · 20/03/2023 15:43
I think one would have to be extremely precious to care. It's not a white dress.
ganvough · 20/03/2023 14:53
The dress in the centre is the same dress MIL wants to wear. See the difference in lighting and how much whiter it looks? Now imagine it outdoors in sunshine in a group photo - it will look even whiter.
OP's mother bought a new dress she likes. There's nothing unsuitable about the dress. Bride sounds a complete nightmare, spoilt brat.
"Matching pyjamas" - there's plenty of ridiculous stuff on here but that's high on the list.
NatashaDancing · 20/03/2023 21:07
ganvough · 20/03/2023 20:00
Well, given she had 2000 guests and her wedding dress cost $42,000 in post war rations ($1.6mn in today's money), I think she probably fretted a little bit.
NatashaDancing · 20/03/2023 18:32
I referred to black and white photographs. I was being sarcastic.
I wonder if the late Queen Elizabeth fretted when looking at her wedding photos.
www.npg.org.uk/collections/search/portrait/mw248691/Wedding-of-Queen-Elizabeth-II-and-Prince-Philip-Duke-of-Edinburgh
Maireas · 20/03/2023 17:21
Yes @RampantIvy , I meant the weddings the poster was referring to, where the photos were in black and white.
Oh and look , it's impossible to tell who the bride is in that photo - all those other women in pale frocks trying to upstage her. Yeah right. Bride is being ridiculous.
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