Style & Beauty
Is this dress appropriate for a wedding?
hippygirllucky · 13/03/2023 08:45
My brother is getting married soon. My soon to be SIL has always been a bit distant from us and doesn't really want to get involved in any family things, which we're fine with, not everyone is the same.
They're getting married soon and she's not quite a bridezilla, but he's VERY particular about every detail. Again, fine. It's her wedding (and my brother's).
She seems particularly distant to my mum, who tries her hardest with her but she just doesn't respond. My mother is a lovely woman, the kindest soul and I know it breaks her that my SIL won't even try with her, but I think my poor soon to be SIL is so painfully shy and awkward, she's just chosen to not engage with us (they've been together 10 years).
Again, all fine. We know the deal.
My mum just showed me the dress she's planning to wear to their wedding and I was a bit shocked. I thought it was common knowledge that you NEVER wear white to a wedding. I don't think it's on purpose, but I don't think my mum has picked an appropriate dress (especially given the cold relationship with SIL!).
What do you think? Is this dress too white? I can't help but think it's particularly important given how frosty things are with the bride!
MyriadOfTravels · 19/03/2023 11:36
JenniferBarkley · 19/03/2023 11:11
Where I'm from, the mothers dress up more than the normal guests, just like the bridesmaids do. The mothers typically wear a dressy jacket or coat and often a hat. If you think of the look worn at royal weddings it's similar to that (cheaper obviously 😁). That dress would be much more casual than most mothers of the bride or groom.
Travelationjubilation · 19/03/2023 11:00
Why would that not be making an effort, it’s elegant and classy.
JenniferBarkley · 19/03/2023 10:09
Why did SIL hit the roof?
Is it the bridal thing or the style of the dress? Where I'm from the mothers of the bride and groom dress much more formally than that, and that dress may be seen as not making an effort.
Not that that excuses SIL of course.
Hope you have plenty of wine in OP, or your indulgence of choice, sounds like you're going to need it.
But even if this is how the bride sees things, dies it mean that the MIL has to follow that rule if it’s not the way they dress?
No way I’d go over the top like this as the mother if the broom. Sorry. That’s not who I am.
NatashaDancing · 19/03/2023 11:43
Talkingtomyhouseplants · 19/03/2023 09:13
I don’t think the whiteness is the issue more that it’s not really formal enough for a MOG to wear. It would be okay to wear going to someone’s wedding as a work colleague imo
Eh? It's a lovely dress. Most "MOG" stuff is hideous.
I don't know how anyone could object to any guest wearing this to a wedding.
ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 19/03/2023 13:10
LaFemmeDamnee · 13/03/2023 08:50
That's not 'a white dress'. It's a dress with a red pattern on a white background. Nobody is going to think she's the bride, or trying to upstage the bride.
This.
I actually love this dress your mother has great taste
MrsOrange · 19/03/2023 13:20
emmaw1405 · 19/03/2023 11:01
For those asking where it is from annelouiseboutique.com/collections/dresses/products/red-windsor-dress
They did it in a blue and yellow print last year as well. It's a lovely dress, I've got a version of it in black satin.
That link helps, because the close up picture shows the dress as less white. Having said that I'd go for the blue version (also on sale) but avoid the issue)
Having seen update though, let's be honest I don't think SIL is going to be pleased with any choice..
Ponderingwindow · 19/03/2023 13:21
Have you gotten the details on why SIL is unhappy?
the dress isn’t white. It doesn’t read remotely white in the photo.
it is however shockingly casual. My first thought when I saw the picture was that the MIL must not approve of the couple. Then I tried to remind myself that different weddings have different levels of formality and maybe the dress isn’t inappropriate for a MOG, but I just can’t seem to let go of the idea that the mother chose a dress this casual to send a message.
NatashaDancing · 19/03/2023 13:27
Ponderingwindow · 19/03/2023 13:21
Have you gotten the details on why SIL is unhappy?
the dress isn’t white. It doesn’t read remotely white in the photo.
it is however shockingly casual. My first thought when I saw the picture was that the MIL must not approve of the couple. Then I tried to remind myself that different weddings have different levels of formality and maybe the dress isn’t inappropriate for a MOG, but I just can’t seem to let go of the idea that the mother chose a dress this casual to send a message.
Eh? Really?
"Shockingly casual" ???
Goodness knows, I don't do "casual" but that dress isn't "shockingly casual"
TheOGCCL · 19/03/2023 13:33
There is a bit of a bridal vibe about that dress but I'd say it kind of depends on what the bride is actually wearing. If it's long and full and a bit whimsical like that then it'll be potentially more awkward than if the bride is in something more fitted/neat.
NatashaDancing · 19/03/2023 13:36
catherinesofpartick.co.uk/mother-of-the-bride-dresses-groom-outfits/
www.nigelraymentboutique.co.uk/collections/mother-of-the-bride-groom-dresses
www.jjshouse.co.uk/amp/Cheap-Mother-Of-The-Bride-Dresses-c8/?gclid=CjwKCAjw5dqgBhBNEiwA7PryaO_MbqOthJXRttyjXDg8XYEkuvbYsIDt5Y_VpVhvd-gzsk_W_4ClCxoC7soQAvD_BwE#/
There are some MOB / MOG horrors on these sites.
And if the fear is "don't upstage the bride" many of them scream "me, me, me, look at me!"
NatashaDancing · 19/03/2023 13:42
blackbeardsballsack · 19/03/2023 13:32
I cannot believe that anyone would have an issue with that dress! It's not bridal at all. I also think it is a much better look than the traditional mum bolero jacket and fascinator look.
It's sort of very, very, very vaguely bridal but only in the context of 18th and 19th century weddings before white became obligatory and a wedding dress was just a good dress.
If you were rich, it was reworked/ reworn as a ballgown and for everyone else it became your best dress/ Sunday dress.
I could see a Jane Austen or a Thomas Hardy or a Poldark character getting married in that sort of floral sprigged dress- but the guests would wear similar (probably their own wedding dresses)
Babyboomtastic · 19/03/2023 14:10
I thought it was white lace over pale pink, which may have been a bit close to the line.
It's actually pink be and red flowers on as white background, be and probably fine to wear.
I don't like it personally and think it's too informal (reminds me of a nightie) but I appreciate I'm in the minority.
The MOTB pages make me laugh though, most of those models would need to wait at least another 20-30 years before they'd be MOTB age.
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