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Original poster

Is this dress appropriate for a wedding?

169 replies

hippygirllucky · 13/03/2023 08:45

My brother is getting married soon. My soon to be SIL has always been a bit distant from us and doesn't really want to get involved in any family things, which we're fine with, not everyone is the same.

They're getting married soon and she's not quite a bridezilla, but he's VERY particular about every detail. Again, fine. It's her wedding (and my brother's).

She seems particularly distant to my mum, who tries her hardest with her but she just doesn't respond. My mother is a lovely woman, the kindest soul and I know it breaks her that my SIL won't even try with her, but I think my poor soon to be SIL is so painfully shy and awkward, she's just chosen to not engage with us (they've been together 10 years).

Again, all fine. We know the deal.

My mum just showed me the dress she's planning to wear to their wedding and I was a bit shocked. I thought it was common knowledge that you NEVER wear white to a wedding. I don't think it's on purpose, but I don't think my mum has picked an appropriate dress (especially given the cold relationship with SIL!).

What do you think? Is this dress too white? I can't help but think it's particularly important given how frosty things are with the bride!

Is this dress appropriate for a wedding?
OP posts:
America12 · 13/03/2023 09:28

Yes it's lovely.

Abraxan · 13/03/2023 09:30

It's nice.
It's not predominately white at all. It's very much floral/patterned on a white background.
It's not bridal in the softest either.
It looks very much like a summer-y dress than a bridal dress!

purpledalmation · 13/03/2023 09:32

It's fine it looks pink striped with white to me

Abraxan · 13/03/2023 09:33

If a guest had worn this at my wedding, or any other wedding I've been to, I'd have not thought twice about it.

I'm surprised some posters think it looks like a wedding dress or too bridal.

CMOTDibbler · 13/03/2023 09:38

For a wedding guest, I wouldn't bat an eyelid. But for the Mother of the Groom, especially in the context of a not great relationship with the bride, I think it says 'I couldn't really be bothered' in all honesty

JenniferBarkley · 13/03/2023 09:40

I think it's far too casual for the mother of the groom tbh, regardless of the colour.

Could she add a fancy coat in the strong pink colour? That would reduce the white and make it more appropriate for her role.

fruitbrewhaha · 13/03/2023 09:42

It’s hard to tell from the picture. If your mum wears a red jacket and shoes etc to match the red/pink in the dress then it’s ok.

Theraffarian · 13/03/2023 09:46

As a wedding guest , absolutely fine , the don’t wear white refers to all white dresses so you don’t compete with/ upstage / get confused with the bride . This dress would do none of those.
For mother of the groom it’s not especially special, but if she’s happy and comfortable with it , I’d get her to run it past the bride and see what she thinks.

KILM · 13/03/2023 09:47

Depends if your sister in law is one of the many bonkers people who have literally nothing better to do than get offended over what other people wear to their wedding instead of, oh I don't know, focus on the fact you get to have a nice day with all your loved ones celebrating you marrying someone you love?
I think it's a fabulous dress, hope your mum wears it and looks great in it.

Mirabai · 13/03/2023 09:50

Of course it’s fine people are quite mad on here.

pinkyredrose · 13/03/2023 09:51

It's a lovely dress, failing to see a problem.

UnfinishedBusiness · 13/03/2023 09:55

Lovely dress, not suitable for mother of the groom imo. Ask her how she thinks it will look in a photo of her standing close to the bride.

(On a side note, where is it from, I really like it).

Largeflaskoftea · 13/03/2023 09:56

I think it’s lovely too. I think sometimes people (on here) have weird expectations of what weddings are going to be like - like proper formal, expensive ‘posh’ affairs. Not every wedding is like that. And honestly, all eyes will be on the wedding couple anyway.

Turnipworkharder · 13/03/2023 09:59

That's fine for a wedding not remotely too white.

Unlike the recent wedding I attended where the mother of the groom wore a pure white dress 😯

HoppingPavlova · 13/03/2023 10:29

I think it’s fine but as mother of the groom I’d wear a red/pink (whatever the colour is) blazer and a matching fascinator and shoes to jazz it up a bit for the wedding party photos.

StClare101 · 13/03/2023 10:39

I think it’s fine. Not remotely bridal.

Helloits2023 · 13/03/2023 11:58

I think it's too white.

I never understand when people say it's fine to wear white-ish dresses as long as they don't look bridal. Avoiding white is not done because people won't know who the bride is, it's just a norm that only the bride wears white at a wedding.

I would be pretty annoyed if my MIL wore something like this, and I know of weddings where the MIL wore white with colour prints/patterns and it was certainly talked about with raised eyebrows. For a random guest maybe ok, but all the more important to avoid white if you're family who will be in photos IMO.

Maybe if worn with a red jacket (which stayed on in the photos!) it would be ok. But why risk it if the relationship is already slightly fraught?

MissingMoominMamma · 13/03/2023 11:59

If she picks up the colour for hat, shoes etc., it will be absolutely fine (and very pretty). If she chose white or nude accessories, not so much (and it would look a bit insipid).

Original poster
hippygirllucky · 19/03/2023 07:18

Update: mother showed dress to my brother, who showed it to soon to be SIL, who absolutely hit the roof. Poor mother is very upset because she took ages picking it and is upset because she never meant to offend anyone. Brother and SIL are angry at me for telling them to chill out over a dress, because no one is going to mistake mother for the bride.

It's all gone to hell. And all before 7am on a Sunday.

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 19/03/2023 07:25

Blimey. Happy Mother’s Day!
I didn’t think it looked too bridal but much too informal. Also it looked a delicate pink and white so I’m baffled at people talking about the red. Is this like the gold/blue dress weird thing a few years ago?

jazzandh · 19/03/2023 07:28

I'd be getting a black dress to wear!

Fairyliz · 19/03/2023 07:29

Oh dear have read you update, sounds like sil is a bidezilla.
How old is your mum as personally as someone in my 60’s I think that dress is too young. I would advise your mum to go very traditional mother of the bride.

hopeishere · 19/03/2023 08:29

Oh dear. It's a gorgeous dress - where's it from?

Had your mum bought it? Can it be returned?

With a coat and the right accessories it would be fine. I hate those super formal trussed up MOB outfits of coat and dress and hat all matching.

Mihamiha · 19/03/2023 08:38

How ridiculous from your sister in law, that dress is not white.
I went to a wedding where the mother in law wore an off-white lace dress. Now that would give your sister in law something to be upset about.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

Silverstreaks · 19/03/2023 08:46

What a shame. It's a pretty summer dress, looks fresh and stylish.

Is she expecting your mother to be trussed up in a thick dress, coat and hat combo?