Style & Beauty
Is this dress appropriate for a wedding?
hippygirllucky · 13/03/2023 08:45
My brother is getting married soon. My soon to be SIL has always been a bit distant from us and doesn't really want to get involved in any family things, which we're fine with, not everyone is the same.
They're getting married soon and she's not quite a bridezilla, but he's VERY particular about every detail. Again, fine. It's her wedding (and my brother's).
She seems particularly distant to my mum, who tries her hardest with her but she just doesn't respond. My mother is a lovely woman, the kindest soul and I know it breaks her that my SIL won't even try with her, but I think my poor soon to be SIL is so painfully shy and awkward, she's just chosen to not engage with us (they've been together 10 years).
Again, all fine. We know the deal.
My mum just showed me the dress she's planning to wear to their wedding and I was a bit shocked. I thought it was common knowledge that you NEVER wear white to a wedding. I don't think it's on purpose, but I don't think my mum has picked an appropriate dress (especially given the cold relationship with SIL!).
What do you think? Is this dress too white? I can't help but think it's particularly important given how frosty things are with the bride!
SummaLuvin · 19/03/2023 09:06
Silverstreaks · 19/03/2023 08:46
What a shame. It's a pretty summer dress, looks fresh and stylish.
Is she expecting your mother to be trussed up in a thick dress, coat and hat combo?
I presume the bride was expecting her to not be in a predominately white dress. Brother & SIL are handling this badly and could/should have approached it better, but the OP herself doubted if it was appropriate which is why this thread was created in the first place.
Mummyoflittledragon · 19/03/2023 09:14
Your poor mum. What a nasty Mother’s Day ‘gift’. I also do think it’s perhaps a bit young for an older woman, not that we know your mum’s age. And not traditionally MOG.
Is it the colour or is it because it’s too informal? I think that dress would look great paired with a denim jacket rather than a formal jacket. So maybe something a little more traditional? Your mum can google mother of the bride / groom outfits.
VictorStrand · 19/03/2023 09:14
Tbh in the middle of organising a wedding, it must be annoying that an adult is asking about dresses. There are websites devoted to advice about what MOGs 'should' wear. Your DM should just have followed your instinct and switched it for something more colourful and traditional.
I'm starting to feel sorry for your SIL.
Talkingtomyhouseplants · 19/03/2023 09:17
Just read your update. Is your FSIL upset because it is too white or because the dress isn’t formal enough? (Or both?)
I don’t get the not bothering people thing. My FMIL FaceTimed me from the shop when she was buying her outfit to check I thought it was okay!
MissingMoominMamma · 19/03/2023 09:30
Hit the roof? You were right to tell them to chill out. I hope they calm down and realise what arseholes they’re being.
Tbh, I’d probably not bother going if I were your mum- it sounds like an awful relationship anyway.
My DIL (to be) would tell me that I would look pretty in anything I wanted to wear, but that’s because she’s a great, grounded person. Equally, she will be the loveliest bride ever!!
JenniferBarkley · 19/03/2023 10:09
Why did SIL hit the roof?
Is it the bridal thing or the style of the dress? Where I'm from the mothers of the bride and groom dress much more formally than that, and that dress may be seen as not making an effort.
Not that that excuses SIL of course.
Hope you have plenty of wine in OP, or your indulgence of choice, sounds like you're going to need it.
Tangelo · 19/03/2023 10:40
So much ageism on here! There’s nothing about this dress that makes it unsuitable for an older woman (if indeed rules about what you wear at what point in your life even exist) — it’s a simple, floral summer frock.
My mum wore something not dissimilar when I got married, though the print was blue. It suited her, was a pretty dress, and reflected her usual style. Standard mother of the bride/groom stuff with matching coats and dresses can be ghastly, and why would you want your mum trussed up in a weird costume for the day if it’s not something she’d normally wear?
The whole of this wedding sounds stressful OP - but I’d say at this point I would let the bride ask about outfits rather than check in with her again. Just focus on making your mum feel brilliant in her new outfit and if SIL wants to get involved, she can take the initiative to do so. I can’t stand people who feel the should have a veto but do none of the communicating or legwork to merit it. (Or indeed brides who want to comment on anyone else’s clothing choices ffs)
Rainbowqueeen · 19/03/2023 10:41
Oh dear.
Id remind DB and SIL that your mum is trying really hard to do the right thing as otherwise she would not have shown them so perhaps they could take that into account and be kinder.
Then offer to take your mum on a girly shopping trip with a lovely lunch and find her something gorgeous (with no white in it whatsoever).
Travelationjubilation · 19/03/2023 10:59
It’s a fabulous elegant dress and not at all the informal for mother of the groom. It’s exactly what I would wear if my son was getting married with a big wide fat headband, gorgeous handbag and strappy sandals.
the fact that your SIL hit the roof is a reflection on her, not on the perfectly appropriate dress.
Travelationjubilation · 19/03/2023 11:00
JenniferBarkley · 19/03/2023 10:09
Why did SIL hit the roof?
Is it the bridal thing or the style of the dress? Where I'm from the mothers of the bride and groom dress much more formally than that, and that dress may be seen as not making an effort.
Not that that excuses SIL of course.
Hope you have plenty of wine in OP, or your indulgence of choice, sounds like you're going to need it.
Why would that not be making an effort, it’s elegant and classy.
emmaw1405 · 19/03/2023 11:01
For those asking where it is from annelouiseboutique.com/collections/dresses/products/red-windsor-dress
They did it in a blue and yellow print last year as well. It's a lovely dress, I've got a version of it in black satin.
JenniferBarkley · 19/03/2023 11:11
Travelationjubilation · 19/03/2023 11:00
Why would that not be making an effort, it’s elegant and classy.
JenniferBarkley · 19/03/2023 10:09
Why did SIL hit the roof?
Is it the bridal thing or the style of the dress? Where I'm from the mothers of the bride and groom dress much more formally than that, and that dress may be seen as not making an effort.
Not that that excuses SIL of course.
Hope you have plenty of wine in OP, or your indulgence of choice, sounds like you're going to need it.
Where I'm from, the mothers dress up more than the normal guests, just like the bridesmaids do. The mothers typically wear a dressy jacket or coat and often a hat. If you think of the look worn at royal weddings it's similar to that (cheaper obviously 😁). That dress would be much more casual than most mothers of the bride or groom.
DisforDarkChocolate · 19/03/2023 11:25
From the picture it looks like a white 'lace' dress with a nude layer underneath. It may be misleading @hippygirllucky but that was my first thought.
I've been a mother of the groom and wouldn't have picked this unless my DIL suggested something similar.
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