Les Parisiennes des Mamansnet: Maids Cosplaying as Schoolboys are Going to Get Themselves Cancelled by North Korea

[botemp]

Lovers of Parisian style and fashion with a conscious mindset and lots of chatter in between. Feel free to join in.

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Favoured Parisian addresses:

Second Hand Shops

Outlets

Favoured London addresses:

Charity Shops, Dress Agencies, and Outlets

Favoured NYC addresses:

Consignment shops, Vintage, and Restaurants

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Previous threads:

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Quinze

I apologise for that. It was slightly ranty.

This is why I'm a bit rubbish and never stay on long-running threads.

Because I know people see me. And I know why they see me. I was acknowledging my privilege really. I don't think that disappears at 50 when you have all the other privileges.

Maybe I'm just screaming at the void.

My DD and I have ASD.

It's ok.

Hope you do stick around SpookyAction and no need to apologise, that was interesting.There was a thread on here a few years ago about older women and invisibility - the op used to post on here sometimes but I've not seen her in ages <waves if she's still around> Anyway the thread got quite feisty. There were posters like me saying, 'Oh yes, it's thing' and others posters saying no it hadn't happened to them (although some of them were still quite young - myself I found it a post menopause phenomenon). And then some posters seemed quite offended at the idea, as if it were a personal slight and at least one suggested we must have let ourselves go and had we thought about changing our foundation (or something - it might have been get a pedicure).

So it's clearly not a universal experience but it definitely happens to some of us. Xing, who's the same age as me, doesn't feel it and suggested it might be because we live in very different places, which I thought was a good point. Interestingly, I've felt it less of late but I don't know whether that's because I've become so used to it that I notice even the slightest bit of attention, or whether I've come out the other side and back into the sunlight - and I don't wear foundation at all now and I've still never had a pedicure. 😉

I always love your musings @Floisme. Thank uou.

I think I'm about ten years younger, I'm 50 now.

I hate the 'idea' that women become invisible. I don't even buy into that. Much of my work now is in Web3 space. Its full of young men desperately trying to not identify as anything.

It really is an interesting place to work in as not only a woman, but an older woman.

It's very important remain calm. I'm working on a project now and my role is essentially telling a load of over-leveraged tech-bros to calm the fuck down otherwise they're going to blow it.

It is quite interesting, they relate to me as their Mum and they respond to me as such.

Hi SpookyAction and welcome! I'm 51 and not sure I'm invisible, but I live in a small city and have quite distinctive long, silver curls. Maybe I'm just visible in a different way now? That's interesting about place, flo. I think I probably dress a bit differently than others my age here, too.

My dd2 has ds and also asd, there seems to be a few of us on here.

@quirkychick, I too have long silver curls!!

Hello.

And thank you.

That must be it, it must make us visible 😂.

Ah Spooky, I thought you were a new poster but I think you've just name changed? Unless I'm mixing you up with another occasional midnight poster.

I do love how a pedicure is the answer to everything on MN

I think visibility/being seen surely depends on your definition. I get the sense a lot equate it exclusively to male attention which is rather limited although easier to measure than say staff ignoring you or giving someone else preferential treatment in a shop where the cause isn't always clear. I occasionally have random little girls look up at me in awe like I'm some sort of Disney princess and commenting as such (while not resembling one at all) which is down to dressing outside the norms here. I'll be sad if that ever goes away.

I have nothing useful to contribute to the discussion, except to say that I also work in the web3 space @SpookyActionAtADistance (waves).

No @botemp I think you absolutely know that I am the late-night poster of many name-changes!

I do like this thread. But you're all so considered and thoughtful which is why I only pop in occasionally like an annoying cousin.

Most of my friends are creatives. I'm a techy. I always feel a bit on the outside when you all speak to eloquently about clothes and the engineering of thus.

I just buy and wear and whilst I think all the time about the 'simple and perfect' wardrobe, I'm never going to stitch or buy fabric.

I love the absolute right piece of clothing. I'm not going to make it though.

Really @Voltefarce? Yey!

What you be doing there?

@Voltefarce I just tried to PM you. The new site is so bad.

What do you do? Let's chat.

I think that's true, bo, I suppose I don't really measure it in particularly male attention. I think I still have a bit of London influence in how I dress, even though I'm in a small city. There are a lot of full on hippy types, as well as kind of trendy mum types in white trainers and milkmaid dresses.

Maybe @botemp that visibility is sexual visibility. That's not how I feel seen.

It never was. My visibility has always been intellectual visibility.

But yes @botemp if the gays ever stop loving me.

It's time to die.

I'm not really sure what I meant by invisible. I think I did mean male attention/second glances/head turning/sexual. That space just seems so exclusively occupied by the young and youthful, certainly publicly anyway. Whatever it is I meant, there's certainly enough of a difference here in Paris to cause me to notice it.

It's definitely not just about men noticing me. In fact that slight increase in attention that I've detected lately (mentioned upthread) is exclusively from
20-something men, e.g. one came up to me in the coffee shop the other day just to admire my coat. I'm guessing that, because the age gap is now so wide, it feels safe for them, and I don't mean that snarkily - I equally enjoy being able to chat without having to worry about unintentionally giving off misleading signals. It's one of the upsides of hurtling towards old age. But young women - they look straight through me and it's unmistakable! I'm sure I did exactly the same at their age and in fact it's made me realise I'm quite possibly guilty of the same behaviour towards women 20 years older than me, so I'm much more careful about that now.

I hate to burst your innocent bubble Flo but older women are a hot commodity among young men at the moment. Not sure what started it but a lot of them are actively seeking out older women thinking they're wiser and supportive and some other weird regressive ideas, it all sounds a bit like they want a relationship with a mum type figure imho. But afaik they don't pester or initiate so you can go on completely unknowing.

Young women ignoring you, that's interesting and I probably was a bit blind in my younger days too, I'll have to observe that a bit. Short men probably are invisible to many too, I know I sometimes think they pop up out of nowhere.

WRT male attention and France, MeToo did happen differently there, things were always different in a sense but there's another divergence on top iyswim.

Nooooo!
He was probably younger than my son.
I preferred it when I thought he just liked my coat.
Ewww.

Hello all! I feel I am falling behind!
nice to see quirky again!
No real opinions for Elle regarding saving clothes for her daughter… other than I would probably save some I really have a connection / love them but with no expectation of her using them (but I have no daughter only ds).
Nice to see new posters too / old with name changes 😀
my fashion contribution is that yesterday I wore my finisterre jumpsuit and I was stopped in an underground station by someone a good 10 years younger than me (I am mid 40s) and told how good it looked and where it was from.
I noticed that the said jumpsuit definitely makes me visible as a couple of males said hello very politely and kept the door open when going into a museum. it wasn’t in a horrible creepy steering at you way either …
The thing is that said jumpsuit is definitely not a ‘feminine’ outfit but is more looking cool/confident type outfits which I really like.

Sounds like a great outfit red, I'm all for cool/confident outfits!

Can't stop and chat right now but V&A has announced a Chanel Exhibition. September 2023. www.theguardian.com/fashion/2022/may/27/v-and-a-exhibition-coco-chanel-fashion-manifesto

Maybe a September meet is on the cards?

Just popping in briefly to recommend Majestic Filatures for t-shirts. I think botemp introduced me to them in one of the first Paris threads and all the ones I have have lasted and worn brilliantly.

I have tried to PM - hopefully it works!

Not sure if this will work due to paywall. Telegraph article speaks to the discussion up thread re. invisibility and French women.