tell me my obsession is healthy!

[babymooner]

Apologies if this is a bit rambling. Long time lurker and reader of all posts style and beauty. The essence of my question is how okay is it to care deeply about clothes and general appearance?
Let me explain. I am a fifty year old woman. Three children (in or approaching teenage years), a very happy marriage and a very fulfilling career. i am also border line obsessed with clothes and my appearance. I've kibbed myself, done my colours, created style boards, cleared out and replenished my wardrobe, photographed good outfits, and spent a small fortune on clothes (new, ebay, charity shops, the whole works). All (most) of which I love, and I earn good money so it's okay. But is it okay? Every so often I do wonder... to whatend? Who is this for? i don't have a sparkling social life (see: three children and full time big job). I don't have anyone I'm trying to 'keep up with'. It's all just me and my head. It's not a confidence thing either - I'm very comfortable in my skin, etc etc. And yet the time and effortI put into buyingclothes, organising clothes(because I have so many), planning outfits etc you'd think I was in the public eye or running a fashion business.
Is this normal? is this okay? More to the point, does anyone else do this? To be clear, I get joy from it. I have always loved fashion and clothes and I'm a creative, so use clothes to express myself. But sometimes I am literally expressing myself to the dog, and I do worry that I should get over myself. Then again, when I see someone in the street who looks fantastic, it makes me smile and I always compliment them. My worry is that sometimes I'll accept an invitation and the main thing I'm thinking about is that it gives me an opportunity to wear a particular dress/item of clothing that I've bought and which has been sitting in my wardrobe waiting for an opportunity. Am I dressing for my life, or living for my clothes? Does it matter either way? Sometimes I think I should live in Rome where dressing up is a thing in itself:) But I don't... I live in suburban, leafy London. So... thoughts? Please don't be too mean...

Think much depends on what you do for your health. Eg exercise, eating well, sleep, mental health.

Eg spending scarce leisure time on a clothes and beauty hobby but neglecting physical health isn’t good IMO.

Its your hobby. Hobbies are good things. Knock yourself out.

Oh this is so heartening. And actually in a previous job there was another woman I worked with - super super clever and amazing and interesting - and our main topic of conversation was clothes:) LOVE the Sartorialist. Love photographs of people looking interesting - from any era. Feeling very happy:)

I’m like this, I guess it is a hobby! I like being known as someone who looks put together and friends sometimes ask for style and shopping advice. I like knowing I’ve made the best of myself. I do it even when I’m alone in the house. Not that I look particularly special after all the thought, time and effort and I do feel a bit envious of natural beauties who don’t seem to have done very much and particularly those with easier to dress body types.

A downside is the potential environmental impact but in and of itself this hobby doesn’t need to mean lots of consumption, it is just as much about combinations of clothes and outfit planning and being thoughtful in what you buy.

I adore seeing something in a magazine or Instagram or on someone in the street and tracking down a version of it on eBay, in a lovely fabric, for not to much money.
I think this hobby helped keep me relatively sane over the past 18 months

Puts my hand up as another one for whom clothes, accessories and styles are a hobby. I love fashion, I always have - inherited from my mother and passed onto my sister, too. I love the history of fashion too as well as current styles and looks.

Like you I have a busy family life and a demanding professional job, and my wardrobe is totally how I express my creativity. I don’t otherwise get an outlet for that! I love seeing what other women wear, and pondering how I can recreate their looks. I love browsing online for inspiration, and looking at my instagram feed.

I downloaded the Stylebook app earlier this year after it was recommended here and have passed many happy hours uploading my wardrobe and playing with it to come up with new ways to put things together. It was a great recommendation,

I don't share your obsession at all, but it's a perfectly understandable hobby to have if that's what you're interested in!

There is so much talk about clothes and fashion which is mean-spirited or judgmental, or focuses on what people should and shouldn't wear, or is ageist etc. So loving clothes for the pure pleasure of them, because they're interesting, creative and fun sounds like a positive thing to me!

Yep, me too! I think I developed an interest in looking stylish because it was a challenge to look good when I was young as I couldn’t afford more than jumble sales and Oxfam. I sort of turned it into an art form to look ‘expensive’ on nowt. I still love a bargain and haunt eBay. I have too much of everything but I think I’m definitely making up for a perceived lack when I was younger. I also ‘rotate my stock’ from time to time and move things on if genuinely not wearing them. So glad to find this thread - the antidote to the capsule wardrobe.

I am a few years younger than you and am also obsessed. I LOVE shopping. In my case it comes from growing up in the 80s with parents who were stung by the interest rates and couldn't afford nice clothes. I grew up in jumble sale and hand me downs. I buy good quality brands and think through my outfits carefully, follow blogs and Instagram accounts.. I just love it! Wish I earned enough to indulge a bit more

If you enjoy, why not.

But what does 'kibbed myself' mean. Is it a typo or is it a thing??

Haven’t read the full thread. But you might find some insights in this book www.amazon.co.uk/You-Are-What-Wear-Clothes/dp/0738215201?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

It’s a psychologist’s view on why we buy clothes and what we wear

david kibbe - he was big in 70s. Everyone is one of three style types (about bone structure, height, size of features etc). It's actually really good once you get past the awful 70s pictures:) But no, it's not strictly a verb...

Sorry, mistyped. Everyone is one of THIRTEEN style types...

OP this post has made me laugh because I feel exactly like you! I LOvE planning outfits trying them on and taking photos to store them up for an event.

I also spend all of my disposable income pretty much on clothes.

Personally, I don't think it's healthy and wish I didn't do it but maybe other posters think differently.

I just feel like I could spend time doing more constructive things but I also can't help that I enjoy it so much!!

This is also me! Ina. Different way but Yes it's my hobby too. I am also "really boring" and have no other interests (apparently difficult to buy for just buy me a scarf/belt/hat accessories holder) but could talk to you for hours about clothes (food and drink too). I have to rein in my desire to ask people where they bought things. And stifle my disappointment when I compliment someone they don't say where they got it from.

I love my capsule wardrobe now. (Planning it, buying it, maintaining it, wearing it, reviewing it, recycling it) None of it is expensive ( I don't have oodles of cash and saving for retirement) so I shop in cheaper places and sell lots of things on vinted, but I love it. And Instagram. Used to magazines but now Instagram. Husband cannot understand how I can spend and hour looking at clothes in the supermarket when I took back a mirror. And not buy anything.

I have a spreadsheet of all my purchases and how often I heave worn them and what with. I created a pivot table to tell me how much I had spent on each type or clothing.

I plan my outfits for each occasion
Going to the doctors then supermarket then for a coffee- what shall I wear tomorrow?

The OUT FOR DINNER almost unheard of! I will try in at least ten outfits! Well maybe 5.

I also quite large (size 16 so larger side of average now but 2.5 stone smaller than last year, still plump and rotunda) and as long a people thing I'm stylish I don't care if they think I am " a sturdy unit"

Am I a massive weirdo!?

I agree @babymooner, I fucking love clothes and spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about them. I love making different peraonas through outfits. I love shape and structure and how it makes you feel.

I love fabrics and weight and drape.

I lull myself to sleep thinking about various outfits.

And then wear them. I have an interesting life.

I do work in an industry that shuns fashion. It annoys me that it's seen as frivolous.

It's not. It's expressive and always has been. The earliest anthropological discoveries were related to clothes. The way people were and lived were expressed through their clothing.

It's important. It's not silly thought propagated by women.

@babymooner I spend about 30k a year on clothes.

And it's not frivolous. It's considered.

No-one would ask a man about his hobby-spend.

No-one would ask a man about his hobby-spend.

This Is The Thing.

AND, kings were always recognised by their insignia. Kingdoms were very small and clothing was a signifier.

I am exactly like you and I wonder too!

I love clothes, love thinking of outfits, love planning outfits for holidays or days out. I work from home and don't have much of a social life, no matter! I'm also in a leafy London suburb! Even my fitness clothes need to look a certain way.... stylish.

One friend always comments on my style. I like to look stylish but not fashionable?

My thing is Ebay and charity shops and to my joy, my daughter is also getting into my groove!

I'm currently donating my collection of viscose scarves and trawling charity shops for vintage silk ones as I decided I'm of an age when a cheap scarf matters. To me anyway!

I also love changing buttons on things.

Sometimes I'll get totally inspired by what I've seen somebody else wear on the street and research the look.

Which bloggers do you like?

I'm similar OP - I'm very creative but don't have any hobbies as such so I express myself through buying beautiful clothes and nice things for the house. I mean, everyone could survive with just the absolute basics in life but that would be very dull for some. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, not bothered about techie stuff - i love pretty things!

If you enjoy it and can afford it there's no harm at all.

Oh I love clothes too!
My first job, aged 13 yrs old, was in a boutique called Gay Girl back in the 1970s. I worked there on Saturdays and in the school holidays.

I absolutely adored it and it began a lifelong enjoyment of clothes. I really feel blessed to have lived through such amazing times in fashion.
We put on twice yearly fashion shows locally and had so much fun.
I could talk about this for ages but won’t bore you.

I then went to Liverpool to university and discovered vintage clothes. My grandmother was horrified, where had this up-to-date girl gone! I aimed to look like the Biba Girl.

These days I have a relaxed, loosely lagenlook, slightly hippy-ish style and many of my clothes are over 10 years old. I

I lurk on Style and Beauty and really enjoy the discussions. I should actually name change before I admit to loving the Royal threads, mostly for the European styles. I am a republican and would never admit to this in public! 😂

Thank you OP for staring this thread.

One habit I share with QEII! Once found the most beautiful dress, incredibly well made and made me gasp, actually a great price which was more shocking. Bought it, stood in front of mirror never feeling better. Then thought, but where would I wear it? Thought it was silly and so returned it. Huge regret - tried to buy again, all sold out. Never found it again. Return regret is a real thing! Still miffed now, think of that dress often

OP
Go on doing what makes you happy!

I just bought a dark purple tea dress on vinted.
What colour tights? And what can I do to accessorize?
😂

I think you are pretty normal.
I spend a lot of time in exercise gear, dog walking stuff and my motorbike garb. The rest of my clothes are immaculate and I am so fussy about what I have.
I had only hand me downs as a child - clothes (which never fit properly ) and a second hand bicycle. I think it is why I have beautiful well fitting outfits and a Harley!
I absolutely love jewellery too and now I can afford all these gorgeous things I'm treating myself.