tell me my obsession is healthy!

[babymooner]

Apologies if this is a bit rambling. Long time lurker and reader of all posts style and beauty. The essence of my question is how okay is it to care deeply about clothes and general appearance?
Let me explain. I am a fifty year old woman. Three children (in or approaching teenage years), a very happy marriage and a very fulfilling career. i am also border line obsessed with clothes and my appearance. I've kibbed myself, done my colours, created style boards, cleared out and replenished my wardrobe, photographed good outfits, and spent a small fortune on clothes (new, ebay, charity shops, the whole works). All (most) of which I love, and I earn good money so it's okay. But is it okay? Every so often I do wonder... to whatend? Who is this for? i don't have a sparkling social life (see: three children and full time big job). I don't have anyone I'm trying to 'keep up with'. It's all just me and my head. It's not a confidence thing either - I'm very comfortable in my skin, etc etc. And yet the time and effortI put into buyingclothes, organising clothes(because I have so many), planning outfits etc you'd think I was in the public eye or running a fashion business.
Is this normal? is this okay? More to the point, does anyone else do this? To be clear, I get joy from it. I have always loved fashion and clothes and I'm a creative, so use clothes to express myself. But sometimes I am literally expressing myself to the dog, and I do worry that I should get over myself. Then again, when I see someone in the street who looks fantastic, it makes me smile and I always compliment them. My worry is that sometimes I'll accept an invitation and the main thing I'm thinking about is that it gives me an opportunity to wear a particular dress/item of clothing that I've bought and which has been sitting in my wardrobe waiting for an opportunity. Am I dressing for my life, or living for my clothes? Does it matter either way? Sometimes I think I should live in Rome where dressing up is a thing in itself:) But I don't... I live in suburban, leafy London. So... thoughts? Please don't be too mean...

I've been irritated by the recent warm spell and so keen to get my new A/W clothes on I risked a sweltering today

Me too… I went to the Tates (plural ) on Friday and wore a leather blazer and then carried it all day. It was grey but muggy.

I’m musing on boots…. I want 2 pairs. A pair of knee boots that I’ve been thinking about for 3 years…( which are the ones I should have bought but didn’t and they sold out ). I’m also pondering a chunky short boot. I’m interested in a chunkier Chelsea boot but I’m ummming and ahhhhing about longevity. I have some round toe black ankle boots from Ecco that I found new in a charity shop but they’re not quite chunky enough. Do I gamble on this fashion sticking around for a couple more years or do I stick with the Eccos. I’m trying to hone my wardrobe down to just the stuff I love. ( I’m listening to How to Break Up with Fast Fashion at the moment. ) I wear boots a lot and I have had great success finding new pairs Preloved but I promised myself one pair of ankle boots for the winter.

I'm jealous of your leather blazer Divebar, even if it is still a bit unseasonal. I've been looking for a second hand one for a good couple of years, found one recently in a charity shop but now I'm mildly disappointed with it because they're back in fashion and of course this one isn't quite the same as the new silhouette.

I'm no help over boots I'm afraid as I'm too busy looking away in case I spot some cowboy boots and get tempted.

Love this thread. I've enjoyed my fashion journey over the last few years. I was going through a revaluation so it's been a bit experimental and I've made some mistakes.

I went through my summer outfits yesterday, trying to identify why I liked them. I'm not so keen on my spring/autumn and winter wardrobe without knowing why, but I love my summer wardrobe. On the face of it there was no clear pattern to the styles and it seemed quite diverse, but there were similarities in the types of colour (muted), the shape of the clothes (fitted), the fabric (stretchy and soft) and the way the outfits made me feel (comforted, like a cozy blanket in front of a roaring fire when it's snowing outside).

I also thought about the clothes which didn't get culled from my summer wardrobe but which don't feel quite right either and tried to identify why (mostly, they're a bit too bright). Sometimes the very reason I purchased an item is the reason it doesn't work for me. I'm learning that just because I like an item in the photos doesn't mean it'll suit my personality, body shape , lifestyle or mix well with the rest of my wardrobe. I'm learning to look at clothes on the hangar or in pics and think "you're amazing but you're not for me". Hopefully I'll make less mistakes in future and have a more defined style.

Ooh I’m so glad this thread is still going. Apologies, got distracted:)
Love the idea of don’t disagree with me clothes. There’s essays galore on army medals and shiny buttons etc all being about stamping authority and putting the fear into subordinates or the enemy - and I think bags shoes, tailoring and buttons/jewellery can do the same…
As for AW, I find it much easier dressing when it’s cooler because tailoring is easier and accessories are easier - you can pile them on. I think summer suits boho and natural types who can make a long linen dress look effortless - whereas I need a belt, scarf, and ideally a blazer. Not so easy in 30 degree heat 😬

@ShrikeAttack

What we all think.

Your hair is fabulous. I love clothes and I love dressing up. Always have.

I didn't change anything during lockdown except I had the chance to grow my hair again. It's only just past shoulder length but I love it being long again.

I grew my hair too… now trying to quell the urge to go darker… I do this. Cut, dye, grow, highlight… and each time I forget that different hair needs different clothes, and just as I feel like my wardrobe is working for me I’ll change my hair and I’m back to square one:)
Will resist for a bit longer…
So what are we buying/wearing this Autumn? I am feeling cord jackets, tank tops, my eldest son’s old school shirts (white! Crisp! Hardly worn because he grew so fast! No ironing required 🤣), lots of pink and taupe, and preppy loafers/slightly cowboy esque ankle boots.

@DryWhiteagainW

I also think the “am I too old” insecurity is exacerbated by the fact that most websites still show clothes modelled in young willowy models. I’m noticing the use of more varied body sizes but not ages.

That's so true re ages. During lockdown I discovered, amongst others &Daughter, Eponine and Erdem. The models are all very young but if nothing else the prices will put the clothes well beyond a younger age group.

Eponine is particularly annoying. The owner blogs about the clothes and is always photographed wearing her own designs and looking fabulous. She's 61 yet the dresses are never shown on anyone older than around mid 20s.

@Floisme

The leather blazer is Jaeger bought preloved about 5 years ago. It walks the fine line between “not straight” and “not fitted” so not a super current shape but works with wider trousers. Haven’t tried it with dresses… to be honest it’s been pretty unworn in my wardrobe. It is butter soft though… I think I only paid £15 for it.

I’m not sure where I’m headed yet for Autumn. I’m still wearing lots of navy and denim at the moment and have ordered a slouchy navy cardigan from People Tree. I haven’t unpacked my Autumn / Winter clothes yet so that will be fun but I know I have some olive green / forest green knitwear and a biggish flight jacket in olive green I’m looking forward to. I think I might look for some cords and I’d like some tan colours to go with my grey cashmere. I definitely will continue with my mannish tailoring and oversized shirts and might look for a mans suit. I saw a woman in the Tate in a houndstooth suit ( cropped wide leg trousers ) and white loafers. She looked like she had her own style nailed.

Just as a final note I read a depressing article in the Sunday Times Style magazine. Apparently we should be chucking out our loose dresses because bodycon is back. I thought about the woman I saw on the tube in her full milk maid outfit and felt sad for all those dresses cast aside. Elsewhere in the magazine they’re spouting off about buy less and better quality.

@KimikosNightmare

There are a few older models knocking about and definitely a few older influencers if you use Instagram. There’s a cool Japanese lady I follow who’s wears such a wide range of styles. Cindy Crawford was modelling in the Times… she looked incredible as you would imagine. It looks like she hasn’t had too much done to her face and she wasn’t overly made up.

who is your japanese lady @Divebar2021?

I like ahistoryofarchitecture on instagram.
Also like the Accidental Icon and Frugal Fashion shopper blogs.

Always looking for an interesting new fashion follow. I feel like 90% of them are just the same old same old and pretty vacuous with little to say.

I'm looking at this green trench coat.
What do people think?

I've got a navy trench already.

www.gatherandsee.com/collections/jackets/products/green-trench-coat?variant=37257910091964

[quote madamceladon]I'm looking at this green trench coat.
What do people think?

I've got a navy trench already.

www.gatherandsee.com/collections/jackets/products/green-trench-coat?variant=37257910091964[/quote]
I think it is very chic, I am too short to wear it probably but love it

@theleafandnotthetree I love that coat! I have a red trench which I love and look forward to wearing but if I didn't, I'd get that

Clothes and make up are my hobby too. I create Pinterest boards for specific holidays and events, and I happily spend many, many hours scrolling through Vinted or Depop. I'm a skilled eBay bidder too. I follow several fashion bloggers and often try to exactly recreate their outfits which involves even more Internet searching for specific items.

@madamceladon

I like the coat… it’s similar to one I’ve been looking at in Cos. I’m trying not to buy coats though just because I have so many.

www.cosstores.com/en_gbp/women/womenswear/coats-and-jackets/coats/product.oversized-trench-coat-green.0891555006.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-vvNgLD88gIVNoBQBh3GuQXMEAQYCSABEgL1DvD_BwE

@madamceladon

Cool Japanese lady is naito-saori on Instagram. She’s 72 but wears a whole range of styles

[quote Divebar2021]**@Floisme

The leather blazer is Jaeger bought preloved about 5 years ago. It walks the fine line between “not straight” and “not fitted” so not a super current shape but works with wider trousers. Haven’t tried it with dresses… to be honest it’s been pretty unworn in my wardrobe. It is butter soft though… I think I only paid £15 for it.

I’m not sure where I’m headed yet for Autumn. I’m still wearing lots of navy and denim at the moment and have ordered a slouchy navy cardigan from People Tree. I haven’t unpacked my Autumn / Winter clothes yet so that will be fun but I know I have some olive green / forest green knitwear and a biggish flight jacket in olive green I’m looking forward to. I think I might look for some cords and I’d like some tan colours to go with my grey cashmere. I definitely will continue with my mannish tailoring and oversized shirts and might look for a mans suit. I saw a woman in the Tate in a houndstooth suit ( cropped wide leg trousers ) and white loafers. She looked like she had her own style nailed.

Just as a final note I read a depressing article in the Sunday Times Style magazine. Apparently we should be chucking out our loose dresses because bodycon is back. I thought about the woman I saw on the tube in her full milk maid outfit and felt sad for all those dresses cast aside. Elsewhere in the magazine they’re spouting off about buy less and better quality.[/quote]
I saw that and ignored it. The Times has been selling me milkmaid and Shaker/ Little House on the Prairie dresses all through lock down and I'm not giving them up. !

The 'Don't disagree with me' outfit worked a dream. Exactly the outcome I desired. Whether it was the outfit or not is largely irrelevant really!

FWIW it was a cool and drizzly day so I wore a Joseph cashmere roll-neck, APC mid-thigh A-line cord skirt, Etro belt, Wolford opaques, All Saints stompy buckle boots, a MaxMara long double-breasted military style coat and used my Proenza Schouler buckle bag.

It was casual rather than professional meeting, and it's interesting you should reference military styling @babymooner, that's the look I went for!

Oh sounds amazing!! I also have a maxmara (well, sportmax) black long military like coat which makes me feel invincible. Deep pockets too - hate winter coats with awkward pockets:)

Hi! I'm late to the party here, but identify with so many of you. I love clothes. I'm another one who isn't fashionable, but stylish (I think). I also love the thrill of the chase, hunting down a specific item or accessory or colour, not because I've seen it on social media, it's a "must have" or a brand name, but something that I know will balance my outfit. (For example black and white striped bag - I'll have no brand in mind, but a definite idea of size, shape, stripe width etc). I look at silhouette and balance mostly. I do my own alterations - shortening, nipping in etc because I can see how the fall of an item would be improved if it was tweaked, or belted (but not any old belt - I know what proportion it should be in terms of buckle and width ).
Fortunately I'm familiar with a sewing machine. And a search engine

My friends like to dress up but they are more conventional (in the sense of "jeans and a nice top") and they wouldn't dream of putting their hair up to complement any outfit, or using any kind of hair accessory, not even a hair slide. Whereas for me, the hair forms part of the overall balance of the outfit. I don't anything complex or time consuming, but I can see if an outfit would suit a jaunty ponytail, or a low bun, or a side parting with a hair slide etc. Sometimes I feel like the odd one out because I don't know anyone who does more than "jeans and a nice top" in my social circle. Well, one person but I don't see her often.

It's great to find like minded people