Help a woman who feels like an ugly fat bloke find herself!

[blaisealex]

That woman is me. I make no effort with myself because I feel like an ugly fat bloke. I live in PJ'S or when I'm going out I wear baggy clothes covered in paint and holes. I have short hair that gets pushed out of my face with a headband and not even brushed.

I'm sick of it. It makes me feel worse about myself. But I don't know who I am anymore or what my style is. I need some help to find myself again.

I have a fresh start in October and want to go into it feeling my best. I have an appointment for a hair cut and colour and an eyebrow wax in September. But I'm not sure what cut or colour to get.

I'm 15st thereabouts, slightly more probably and 5ft 4. I'm bottom heavy with huge thighs. I do have a belly and big arms too but not in comparison to my thighs.

I just want to feel good about myself. Can anyone help me find my style and work out things that I would look good in? Save me, mn!

You have to scroll down.

On the M&S bra fitting thing I've had wildly varying experiences depending on the fitter. What I would say though is that I had a wonderful relative who took me in hand and bought literally 35 M&S bras on her credit card - some the same style but in four diff band/cup sizes - and made me try them all on in one giant session. It was I have to say hilarious. I ended up keeping around six from that first selection and it was a total game changer. Relative took all the rest back before she had to pay the credit card bill so it was a free try on.

I was a different size depending on the style of bra - eg full cup, wider strap (but found under wiring was a total must for the big of nork). I was agog at how many padded styles there were (if you're FF, do you really need MORE wadding FFS??).

But it was wholly transformational to end up with six bras that made whatever I wore over the top look instantly better, and also that actually sat against my rib cage and supported my breasts, rather than floating weirdly in mid air making my boobs sway like tethered zeppelins in a breeze, and that didn't chafe or rub leaving me desperate to rip it off by 11am.

Wild Blooms I now have in black, white, cinnamon, fudge, opaline summat or other (flesh coloured if you're a white person) and a kind of ritzy dark pink...they're Fan bloodybtastic value for £16. I live in fear of them being cancelled.

@Foofbrush

With regard to bras, it can take a bit of work to find a style that works for you - not all 36Gs will fit you comfortably, which is why it's worth going for a fitting in Bravisimo if you can - the staff will help you try loads on. For example, I'm more or less the same bra size as you, and I can only wear bras with shallow, wide wires, and a plunge front. Any wires that sit too high in the centre just dig in, and if the curve of the wire is too narrow, it digs in under my arms

Second this. Bravissimo are amazing! I'm a similar size and would never get fitted anywhere else

You can self fit through Bravissimo website then order and return as you're so far away.

M&S fittings are absolutely awful.

I heard what you said about affordability @blaisealex so what about this shirt? I have it, it's really lovely, long, flowy and so worth £7.99! Be warned, it comes up big.

janesstall.co.uk/product/light-blue-pearl-popper-oversized-shirt/

M & S have put me in a 42A 🤣🤣
So I was wearing a 38C and an online calculator I did put me as a 36G and M and S reckons I'm a 42A.

Are you on Facebook? There's a selling group on there where you could buy some prepared 36G bras and try them for size. Think it's called boob or bust FSOT or something.

@blaisealex

M & S have put me in a 42A 🤣🤣 So I was wearing a 38C and an online calculator I did put me as a 36G and M and S reckons I'm a 42A.

If the online calculator reckon you’re a 36G that’s probably about right. Have a look on Brastop. www.brastop.com/

They’ve currently got a sale on, and do very reasonably priced bras. Order a load in the sizes above and below 36G so you can see what feels best for you, and a few different styles.

I just noticed on another thread that sea salt are having a sale if that's any use ? Another advocate of Adrienne s yoga and also Jason Manford's slimming group on Facebook. I think you'd suit a black leather biker jacket and jeans if you like that look ? Hope you find your style !

I get a bit evangelical about proper bra fittings. I'm an ff, which sounds massive, but by back is small, so they're not actually massive. Loads of women wear bras that ride up at the back and don't hold anything up, cos they've been fitted wrong.

My mum decided I was a 36b, and that what I wore until I realised I was 36c. Except, then I was a 34d according to m and s.

Except I wasn't. I have a carrot shaped top half, so I'm actually quite narrow in the back. Trouble is, most cheaper bras start at 34,32 if you're lucky. But I think this is be so many women wear the wrong size.

In the right bra, I went from a size 14 top to
A 12, too. I could talk about this at length!

@blaisealex

M & S have put me in a 42A 🤣🤣 So I was wearing a 38C and an online calculator I did put me as a 36G and M and S reckons I'm a 42A.

Hopefully you're laughing because of the posters on this thread who have told you that is ridiculous?

Can we all go round and kick M&S for reinforcing your negative body image? And then all come round to your house and fit you with a proper bra?

And tbf, once you have a proper fitting, m&s do nice ones.

Who would be a style icon you like ?
You can rock short hair no problem
Do you have any friends or family who can help ?
Don't wait so long for haircut , eyebrows , shopping trip
Go for it this weekend
Find your style , what do you like , what do you hate
Be yourself ! Just the more invested version !
You can do it
Oh and a spray of something nice always makes me feel better about myself -along with a decent bra when I can be bothered

Bloody hell , just read the thread properly
You look great OP !
No need to put yourself down at all !
You just need a wee bit of self care if you feeling crap but I promise you look just like the rest of us 🤣

@blaisealex

M & S have put me in a 42A 🤣🤣 So I was wearing a 38C and an online calculator I did put me as a 36G and M and S reckons I'm a 42A.

I cannot say I am surprised.....