Help a woman who feels like an ugly fat bloke find herself!

[blaisealex]

That woman is me. I make no effort with myself because I feel like an ugly fat bloke. I live in PJ'S or when I'm going out I wear baggy clothes covered in paint and holes. I have short hair that gets pushed out of my face with a headband and not even brushed.

I'm sick of it. It makes me feel worse about myself. But I don't know who I am anymore or what my style is. I need some help to find myself again.

I have a fresh start in October and want to go into it feeling my best. I have an appointment for a hair cut and colour and an eyebrow wax in September. But I'm not sure what cut or colour to get.

I'm 15st thereabouts, slightly more probably and 5ft 4. I'm bottom heavy with huge thighs. I do have a belly and big arms too but not in comparison to my thighs.

I just want to feel good about myself. Can anyone help me find my style and work out things that I would look good in? Save me, mn!

I have thunder thighs I have never seen fatter thighs than mine on anyone not twice my size! Next for jeans and long baggy tops and please try a fit and flare skirt. Either grow you hair or go a bit punky whispy.

And for context, so you can help, here is me in all my glory. Braless and in my PJ'S.

You have cracking norks! You'd rock a corset in no help with the jeans but you would definitely look lovely in the Jean/blazer combo

You look waaaay better than you think you do! Bloody hell woman. Give yourself a break. You wouldn’t talk about anyone else the way you talk about yourself.

No advice on where to buy specific things but with your shape - yes, you do have a decent shape - you can definitely pull of most of the looks you liked and added pix of. You’d look amazing in a decent pair of jeans and a jacket.

Thought I'd get dressed to see if I look any better with a bra and clothes on rather than PJ'S! Not much improvement but definitely better than PJ'S.

Your thighs look muscly not particularly wobbly op but some thicker leggings or jeans would highlight the shape less. The ones you've got on look more like gym wear. You look pretty well balanced and in proportion. A lot of clothes would suit you.

Boot cut jeans that you like would suit you. In fact all those pictures of clothes you've posted would suit you. I think you're just sick of seeing yourself in PJs, which are nice but just PJs.

The photos you've posted are a mile away from the description in your OP, light years in fact. What are you thinking?! You look good. Great if you want to go further with your look but you have an enviable starting point.

I think some new clothes and a fitness regime would give you bags of confidence.

Ok, so you definitely don't look how you think you look. You've got a great figure!

If you're on Facebook I'd highly recommend the Style Sisterhood group. It's a really lovely, supportive community. They'll have loads of ideas for you if you want to post there, or if you'd rather not post you can get loads of ideas about what will work for you just from reading other peoples posts.

I am going back to my point about the si get Pink. You have a body like hers! Excellent strong shoulders, so mimsy floaty things possibly won't make you feel good.

But Pink really rocks blazers, and fitted things.

Your hair's longer than mine and you're thinner than me op!

For chunky legs I would recommend gap sexy boyfriend jeans - not the ones currently in store but older pairs on ebay, they have a wider shape than mom jeans but have a nice casual look, then you could funk them. Up with a funky top to go out but look casual or black t and cas shoes, vans, for daily wear... They are my staple wardrobe feature, looking at your pics you seem similar to me, I'm not girly, more tomboy style and as a first part of a wardrobe you ferl comfortable with I would recommend these

You could easily look lovely OP.
I suggest you watch the latest series of the Great Pottery Throwdown and look at the clothes Siobhan Macsweeney wears. She always looks fabulous. Her clothes may not be your cup of tea but her self confidence and radiance - whilst at your sort of size and shape (probably larger) should inspire you.
She is beautiful and I'm sure you are too.

Wow your pics are a world away of how you described yourself. Things that always make me feel better about myself. Hair and skin. So I have a good but cheap skin care routine. Research your skin type and go from there. Also hair, maybe book for a trim or shorter hair cut. Plough through photos of your face shape for styles you like. Give it a good condition weekly. I actually did something super drastic in the week and took a set of hair clippers to my hair!! So I've gone from shoulder length to super short in 2 months and I actually feel great (I'm 48 so sort of a midlife crisis 🤣). I cant wear jeans in this weather so funky dresses and chunky sandals are for me or some good converse type shoes. But definitely start with simple things. Also yoga as suggested above. Any form of exercise can boost your mental health as well as tone you up if that's what you want. I'm sure you'll have great fun finding yourself xxxx

Sorry me again. A good bra will also make you look and feel great xx

Seriously?? They really don’t look like tiny boobs in the photos!

I agree that there is a good figure hiding under there.
Get a decent bra or two as that can make a huge difference.

Just came on to say:"a good bra", but beaten to it. It makes a massive difference, even in the way you stand.

@Squiz81

Seriously?? They really don’t look like tiny boobs in the photos!

They feel small to me! Maybe they aren't then...They are very very saggy though. I wear a C cup. My teenage DSD has bigger boobs than me! She's like an E or something crazy.

Omg you look a million times better then how you describe yourself!

Get on Instagram and follow some plus size influencers who share fashion/style! 😊

If your putting those boobs in a C cup then you're wearing the wrong size bra. Get the to the Boob or Bust website!

Well don't want to outdo you op but I've only one boob! Bras can do marvellous things!

After my treatment I just decided the best thing to feel better about myself was to get fit. Started running every day. And I make sure I walk every day too. Do resistance exercises too. 3 years later and I've never really being happier about the way I look.

Exercise, good food and some nice clothes. Can't beat it for confidence.

Do the bra intervention. I would guess a DD or bigger! I think you need to be bold. Maybe bright red or purple hair and dead short. I think you could rock an androgynous look clothes wise - sharp white shirt and wide leg black trousers like you have linked. But with a vest under the shirt so not too shapeless. I also see you in thicker leggings and DMs or biker boots. I think though you can do the skinny crop jeans and white trainers look I am seeing everywhere too. Your body is very balanced so I do think you can do fitted. I am envious of your figure to be honest. But I think you are edgy so I personally wouldn’t go with the grow your hair advice.

They are the biggest tiny boobs I have ever seen!

Lol I'm just going to say what everyone else has said - your description of yourself sounded like a disaster but you look pretty good!!

You don't have fat legs, you have big legs and that's really fashionable right now. You don't have tiny boobs- get a better bra. And don't swamp yourself in baggy clothes, you have a shapely leg so can afford to wear tighter legs. Honestly, there's loads of things you'd look lovely in. And I like your hair - maybe experiment with some waves. You look good Op.