Would you ditch the dye?

[thesoundofthepolice]

Im 37 and my hair is so white, not even grey, it's pure white. i take after my mum who was the same, so much so I can't remember her with anything other than white hair. I need to dye it every 3-4 weeks and it's just such a chore.

The other issue is my hair is so dark and cool toned going lighter isn't really an option that won't be just as much hard work.

What would you do? Part of me wants to embrace the grey but I don't want to look old and haggard.

I'm too vain. On me greying hair just makes me look older. I think if I was male I'd dye it too although I won't deny there is more pressure on us women to look a certain way.
I've seen many women look fab with white/silver hair and will embrace it one day.
Why not give it a try op?

I went blond and the grey roots dont show. Plus I just use Nice and Easy and it takes 25 mins. I don't spend a fortune in hairdressers. I love the very white hair like Judy Dench. It looks great but all those dappled greys in between just look unkempt to me. I mean on one level I admire the uncaring attitude but 9/10 feel it's aged the person.

I love my grey hair.

I'm vain. I'm really vain.

I can't be arsed to dye me hair.

What's wrong with grey hair?

Why do I look worse with grey hair than I did as a brunette?

I don't think I do.

I'm 48.

I know it's an unpopular opinion these days as embracing the grey is the trend, but honestly? I dont think it looks good on most people. I have one friend who has really embraced the grey and waxes lyrical about it, and because shes so convinced and in love with the look it would be wrong of me to give my honest opinion in that case, so I just agree with her. But the truth is I think she looked 500% better when she was dying her hair (if she ever expresses the hint of an urge to go back to colour I'll tell her my real thoughts). She's 32 and honestly now that her hair is grey she looks about 48.

Basically you have until around 50 I think where dyed hair can pass for being natural still, so I think it's worth doing so. Just my opinion!

@ShrikeAttack

I'm 48.

You look older. It’s the grey hair.

I would definitely die it.

But do people look older with grey hair? Or is it that older ladies with dyed hair is so normalised that we associate grey hair with being too old to care how we look? I think you look great Shrike.

I’m 24 and am yet to get my first grey hair. But - I find a lot, the majority even.. of women who are primarily grr get why and try to hide it with colour look older than if they just went natural. Grey can be really beautiful.. and I don’t mean synthetic grey as I know what’s trending at the moment. Natural grey/white hair can look lovely. Embrace it!

I grew mine out aged aged 35. Went cold turkey and cut it regularly during that time. Won’t lie, the first 6 months were pretty tough. like you I have cool colouring and always looked shit with highlights. And didn’t have the funds to get the whole lot properly matched to my roots (it can be done but it needs a VERY talented and careful colourist).

Im very happy with it. More and more people are doing it now, at the time it was a bit unusual and it felt as subversive as some of the colours I’d chosen to dye it in the past!

ShrikeAttack

You are gorgeous; can I borrow your cheekbones, please?

I am in my 50s and ditched the dye about 5 years ago. I have never regretted it. My hair is long, thick and curly with grey streaks (so am committing all sorts of age-related hair crimes!) and I love it. I think people do judge, but I care not a whit.

"Nobody tells people their dyed hair is awful either, do they?"

Oh yes, they do and I think they'd be more likely to say it for dyed hair as well because it's a criticism of your hairdresser rather than of the way you were born.

I think it’s fine if you go completely grey/white but salt and pepper (which mine is) looks roundly shit on everyone

I waver tbh, much depends on the haircut. When I had a very short sharp pixie my very grey hair looked funky, trendy.

Now I have a slightly longer, softer short hair cut it looks messy and uncared for when grey. I tend to stick to a light brown, but not dying the ends and some highlighty bits across the top of my head to keep some texture.

I may well go grey again (am 39, but have been very grey since 30ish...thanks dad) if I change haircut again.

Who cares what others think though? Mine is grey. I probably look older than if I dyed it, but who cares? I’m more fussed by my own view and what’s easier in terms of maintenance.

@Smellbellina

I think it’s fine if you go completely grey/white but salt and pepper (which mine is) looks roundly shit on everyone

I agree @Smellbellina. My family’s fair hair tends to go from fair to white, without the grey in between. Right now, my natural color is whitening temples and a white strike at the front, but the back is still dark blonde. So I look multi-colored in a bad way! I tried my natural color over the summer but am now having it professionally dyed again.

When it’s completely white, I’ll probably ditch the dye.

OP you have too much dark hair to go naturally grey.
It's a long process. Not much help I know. Sorry.

The issue is as you’re in the early stages it looks a bit disjointed. If the grey was distributed through your ends too, you’d probably feel more comfortable with it as would look more coherent.

What’s your lifestyle like? If you can get away with growing it out, do so. Maybe start taking hair growth supplements/treatments to try and expedite it.

Otherwise you could try to disguise it by going lighter or darker. Both come with upkeep though, how much maintenance are you happy with?

I think going grey would age you due to your 50/50 split of grey vs dark hair. I don’t think grey is ageing when it overall looks ashy platinum/silver blonde. But that would be a massive change, especially if you like being brunette!

It is a tough one. Maybe use a L’Oréal colour spray until you make your mind up/it grows out.

I don’t think grey hair is ageing. Unkempt hair is ageing. Frumpy clothes and glasses are ageing. Middle-aged spread is ageing. Hair colour is only part of the picture, and a fairly minimal part.

I also totally disagree with people saying that salt and pepper hair automatically looks shit - I have a friend with black hair who has a proper mallen stripe and now quite a lot more grey. It looks amazing.

Your hair is definitely not very white! but it will be!!! I had the same colour hair as you and been seeing ladies in the street with serious badger stripes.... don't want that happening to me. That amongst other reasons made me grow my greys. I like it

I dye my grey roots every couple of months.
If I go natural then it ages me and I look unkempt and like I've let myself go which means I can't look at myself in the mirror without shuddering until I get the dye out.

Name changed for this.

I started going grey very young, and started to have expensive highlights in my dark brown hair to help the demarcation line. It worked great for a few years, but I became sensitized to the dyes and am now allergic to all hair dye, including henna. I spent about a year just having bleach highlights put through which worked well enough, but in jan decided to embrace it and have been growing it out ever since. I use a purple shampoo and actually quite like the purple rinse look! I'm 38. It's not my ideal colour, but it's better than a severe allergic reaction. It helps that my eyebrows are micro bladed on I think.

I would say keep going for a bit, or try the flip method mentioned above. I think it can look really good on some people. Haven't decided on myself yet, but I don't really have many other options!!