Would you ditch the dye?

[thesoundofthepolice]

Im 37 and my hair is so white, not even grey, it's pure white. i take after my mum who was the same, so much so I can't remember her with anything other than white hair. I need to dye it every 3-4 weeks and it's just such a chore.

The other issue is my hair is so dark and cool toned going lighter isn't really an option that won't be just as much hard work.

What would you do? Part of me wants to embrace the grey but I don't want to look old and haggard.

I'd suggest trying highlights.

I have, since just before lockdown. I now have four inches of salt and pepper hair at the roots, a similar shade to yours. And the rest of the growth is a dyed dark brown, shade #5, which I had done at the hairdresser's.

I do desperately need a haircut, taking four inches off the length would give me back a shoulder length bob. I trim my own fringe, and on my next cut, there'll be no dye left there. I reckon it will be another 12-18 months before I'm completely dye free.

The pros for me are cost, time and no longer having that false flat colour, as others have said. A block colour fools nobody. And I've never wanted to spend hours and £££ having highlights.

Cons, until you grow it out, you won't know how much grey you have, and it may be patchy (lighter at the front or the temples, for example). It also takes ages, you need to be very patient.

One thing I also noticed, my hayfever / allergies have all but disappeared. Just saying.

Cold turkey is the best way to go, in my opinion. Worst case, you are only one hair appointment away from going back to the dye. But that's a treadmill I'm determined not to get back on.

Also, there are some helpful and supportive Facebook groups out there. I follow 'silver hair and smiles' and 'silver revolution'.

I am 49 and also jumped on the lockdown bandwagon. I have had blonde highlights for 25 years, naturally light brown. I now have about 6" of roots, mainly brown but with a streak of silver in my parting. I am cutting my hair myself too, and have cut the sides a little shorter around my face. These bits are about 50% natural and overall I am about 25% natural. My hair does not grow as quickly as I thought it did. The natural hair is super soft and shiny so I am going to carry on. I think maybe in another 12-18 months I will be 100% natural with shoulder length hair.

The young ladies on here with grey hair are both stunning

Try changing the parting see if less obvious and colour shampoo that wash out.
I remember a great sacket one called welda 8 washes dont see them anymore

I'm still so undecided. I bought dye at the weekend but haven't used it, just the thought of being back in the 2-3 week dying cycle is putting me right off.

@TinkerPony it's a pretty even spread throughout the roots which I discovered when attempting to change my parting.
I do have a couloir mask thing which is meant to be an 8 wash temporary cover but the white is just too strong I think because it doesn't cover anything lucky me

My hair is naturally curly and I've spent my life trying to get it straight and sleek, I'm thinking of trying it curly to see if that helps disguise the grey a bit and help me decide!!

Using a semi permanent colour would fade gradually leaving some residual blonde behind. Another benefit would be no regrow this at the parting.

regrowth

I’m with those who feel grey ageing.

is ^

I tried growing out my grey in lockdown thinking it'd be lovely to have hair that was low maintenance. What I realised though is my hair grows out grey in weird places only. So after about six weeks I looked like a badger.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Worth giving it a go but I think it depends very much on where your grey comes through - from the photo it looks pretty even so you might have better luck.

Grey is most definitely ageing... Anyone thinking otherwise is deluded.

@ShrikeAttack

If course you should go grey.

Is this your photo, ShrikeAttack?

@JuliaJohnston

Grey is most definitely ageing... Anyone thinking otherwise is deluded.

I agree it is too but personally I have got past that. I finally feel that it's not so awfully terrible to look my age or even to look older. I am older. Well I'm 40.

And while I agree grey = ageing, it strikes me that this is partly because we're not used to seeing younger women with natural hair. It's almost taboo.

Secondly, my eyes do instantly read grey=old, but then if you had to guess someone's age, you'd still get pretty much near the mark regardless of their grey hair. A 30 year old with grey hair will still look. like they're 30 more or less I think.

Anyway, pros and cons. Even if looking older is the con, everything else is a pro for me. I think it looks classy and/or cool and failing that, authentic.

I've attempted to grow mine out loads of times. It's dyed a very dark brown but is naturally very pale silver with white streaks, it's beautiful. Most recent attempt was in lockdown. However DH absolutely hates it and says it looks straggly and horrible so I always cave in and dye it again, even though I really don't want to. I'm 49 and he's 37 so I think he doesn't want to have a wide who's grey haired just yet. I've asked him if he'll be dyeing his when he goes grey (he only has a few streaks as yet) - he says no! I've been this grey for 20 years and the idea of dyeing every 3 weeks (and using root cover powder which makes my hair feel filthy for two of those weeks because the grey is so stark and comes through within days) is a bit depressing.

OP definitely do it - if you hate it you can always cover it up again. You've nothing to lose and I think it'll look so lovely you'll wish you'd done it years ago!

This is the most recent picture of my roots
Every day I have to talk myself out of dying it because it looks so horrific and I'm still in desperate need of a haircut but can't get booked in anywhere.

Don’t go grey. It’s ageing.

I tried growing out my grey in lockdown thinking it'd be lovely to have hair that was low maintenance. What I realised though is my hair grows out grey in weird places only. So after about six weeks I looked like a badger.

Same @BrowncoatWaffles, except I’m fairer so I’m like some sort of multi-colored rodent with white temples ( I went white immediately, not grey), rather than a badger!

U should actually get it bleached up and toned to a grey colour, with some lighter & darker grey tones. means you can then let it grow out and it wnt be as noticeable. That's the best option. Might take 2-3 sessions at the salon to get the grey look, but then u can leave it. I wouldn't let it grow out with ur brown dye in it, that will look horrendous 🤦🏼‍♀️.

It was the best thing I ever did. I was never very happy with my hair, despite spending lots of money dying it at a salon every 3-4 weeks. The grey roots were so noticeable against my mid brown hair. I had about the same amount of white as you.
I now have hair which is twice as think, so soft and I have regrowth freedom. I also don't have to worry about the health aspect of having chemicals dumped on my scalp for 45 minutes every month.
The transition is really hard though.
Your hair would lend itself to the flip method. You switch your parting to the other side and just dye those roots for 18 months. The roots on your real parting grow out, but can hardly be seen under the dyed layer of hair on top. Once fully grown out, you flip your parting back to original and you are done. No more dye required.
I suggest you try a drop of Marula oil to condition strays when drying and Cantu moisture products.
I occasionally put a temporary wash-in-wash-out toner in it for a change. Rose gold or copper.

@workshy44

People are hardly going to tell you it looks awful though are they if you are determined to do it. I have a friend that went grey, fabulous hair, she looks so old now , like her husbands mother. She asked me what it thought and I said I preferred it before and she said I was the first person who didn't think it was AMAZING. At the party every other person who had raved about it to her admitted to me that they didn't like it and did it had added years to her. If people want to go grey they should and shouldn't be concerned what anyone else thinks but if people think going grey "young" isn't aging they are delusional. Nothing "wrong" with it but I have yet to meet someone in real life who doesn't look older from it. If you are older anyway I don't think it matters as much and can indeed look great but any examples on this thread do not look good.

You and your other friends sound lovely. Do you ever wonder what they say about you behind your back?

Women having grey hair really is the last taboo isn't it? Natural hair looking horrific or horrendous? Really? Would anyone tell a grey haired man they look horrific or would they call them a silver fox?

Anyway, now I've got that off my chest, I am 10 months down the line of not dying my dark brown hair and I miss being a brunette. It doesn't look great at all and I've probably got another 12 months to go before it's all cut out. I won't go short to get rid of the colour, short hair really doesn't suit me. I very nearly crumbled today but if I struggle to do my 6 week roots well then I don't think 10 month growth would have been a success! I'm amazed at how soft my hair is now though, it's in much better condition. The more of us that ditch the dye, the more normalised it will become and then hopefully it will become more acceptable. I even had someone the other day tell me he thought it was sexy because it showed I was confident not to conform. I am not sexy but I appreciated the thought!

Photos.

Yes! @JuliaJohnston

It may have been mentioned already ; join Silver Sisters on Amazon.

I ditched the dye a year ago. My hair was v like yours.

It’s now completely silver and I get complimented on it every single day