Would you ditch the dye?

[thesoundofthepolice]

Im 37 and my hair is so white, not even grey, it's pure white. i take after my mum who was the same, so much so I can't remember her with anything other than white hair. I need to dye it every 3-4 weeks and it's just such a chore.

The other issue is my hair is so dark and cool toned going lighter isn't really an option that won't be just as much hard work.

What would you do? Part of me wants to embrace the grey but I don't want to look old and haggard.

I've gone for it, also the roots aren't as bad once they grow out. I do t think I look any different or older, I am in my 50s. It's so liberating

I was worried about the dye damaging my hair and making it thin

www.superdrug.com/Hair/Hair-Colourants/Hair-Toner/Age-Perfect-Colour-Care-Gold-Grey-Hair-Toner/p/750183#bv-reviews

This is quite a good toning conditioner for grey hair if you don’t want to be dying it all the time but want to tone down the grey/make it closer to blonde without highlighting. It’s basically a semi permanent colour, I use it about once a week, rub it in after washing and then rinse out after 15 mins. It would be better on hair with more grey, mine is all concentrated in a couple of places at the front. I use the beige one, haven’t tried the others.

I'm growing mine out. Lockdown bandwagon.

I put some people's insistence on "grey hair is ageing" down to internalised misogyny and the idea that they find other's decision not to keep buying into the beauty myth challenging.

Overdyed hair is waaaay worse for ageing IMO, esp when people don't take into account their changing skin tone etc.

Grey and Quentin you both have ACE hair.

@SueGeneris

Thanks I may give that a go

I got fed up with the line on Demi perms etc after 3 weeks

@Ihatemyseleffordoingthis

I'm growing mine out. Lockdown bandwagon.

I put some people's insistence on "grey hair is ageing" down to internalised misogyny and the idea that they find other's decision not to keep buying into the beauty myth challenging.

Overdyed hair is waaaay worse for ageing IMO, esp when people don't take into account their changing skin tone etc.

Grey and Quentin you both have ACE hair.

Exactly! Well put.

There is nothing more ageing and 'wrong' looking than that awful brownish purplish Herbal Tint hair colour that lots of people seem to think is better than their natural hair colour (grey). Monotone uniform dyed dark hair can look pretty awful.

Also completely agree re the internalised misogyny. Fuck that!

I have been grey since c 40. I am complimented o my hair by strangers all the time so it can't be that bad.

Grey hair doesn't all look the same but from what you've said about it and from that pic, I think it's definitely worth a go. Could it make you look older? Possibly. But it's also likely to be distinctive and to make you look like an interesting, confident woman who knows her own mind. Up to you but personally I'd choose that over looking younger any day. Admittedly I'm over twice your age so maybe I would say that.

Grey may look ageing on some people, but equally dyed hair doesn’t automatically mean more youthful. Particularly that terrible dark brown that really doesn’t suit older faces. Flat, thinning hair won’t look nice whatever colour it is, being blonde won’t change it,

I last had my hair dyed in February. I used lockdown as a way to release me from this. 8 months on, the white doesn't look too bad.

But then I am 55.

I dont think its anything to do with misogyny.
Its about what suits you and makes you feel good.
I looked DIRE with grey hair.
So washed out.

My hairdresser does mine and it looks lovely and shiny.
The flat, dark brown is in the minority.
Almost everyone I know changes their hair colour, very few are even remotely grey yet.

@Greyat37 yours looks fab, it does look like you died in that colour.

can't type! dyed it that colour!

@whoopma I may well die in this colour but I’m still very much here at the moment

@VinylDetective

People are hardly going to tell you it looks awful though are they if you are determined to do it

You haven’t met my friends, have you?! They’re brutal!

Nobody tells people their dyed hair is awful either, do they?
Would anyone seriously say to the many women that dye their hair too dark for their aging skin, that it does not look natural and, rather than making them look younger, it ages them?

I’m on loads of ‘going grey’ groups and one of the things that has struck me as people post their before and after pictures is that genuinely a good 80% of them look better grey/white than they did with their dyed hair. I guess as your hair changes colour your skin probably does as well and only when your natural hair comes through do hair and skin tone ‘match’ better.

😁

I'm embracing it but with the odd wobble. But hair dye makes me itch insanely, so I daren't use it any more in case of a much worse allergic reaction. Even the semi permanent stuff has the ingredient in that I'm most likely reacting to. So I'm just going for it. It's darker at the back but whitish grey at the front.

I've not dyed it since January.

Wow there are some amazing heads of hair in this thread!

@Lily193

I wouldn't because I don't think anyone looks good with grey hair versus their natural hair colour but that's just my personal opinion.

If grey hair is growing out of your head it is your natural colour .

@SewingBeeAddict

I dont think its anything to do with misogyny. Its about what suits you and makes you feel good. I looked DIRE with grey hair. So washed out.

My hairdresser does mine and it looks lovely and shiny.
The flat, dark brown is in the minority.
Almost everyone I know changes their hair colour, very few are even remotely grey yet.

How many of those people who change their hair colour are men?

I have super dark hair, OP and loved to dye it in vibrant red tones when I was younger but reached a point where they simply didn't suit me, any longer, partly because, as more white grew in, they looked really harsh. I hate flat brown dye on me - my natural pre-grey hair was a mix of brown, black and reddish hairs. I grew out the dye on my early 40s and at 50, it looks like old lady grey on a frizzy day but when my hair is well conditioned and moist (I do curly girl method) it still looks very dark, with sparkles and white streaks, which I love with my pale, cool toned skin.

I'm another lockdown locks and I have to say the hardest part was the start where I was constantly peering at my roots as you do in between colours. I used Vosene to lighten the colour a bit. I think the main thing that helped with my demarcation line was doing a couple of root retouches on the top before lockdown as I didn't have time to get a full colour done. It's meant it looks a bit softer. It's important to keep your hair in good condition and a good cut too. I was looking pretty ropey as I was wfh I wasn't blowdrying or straightening my hair to keep it in as good a condition as possible and my new bob cut looks great. I could get it cut really short now as I think that it is grown out enough for it all to be cut out but I think a short cut with grey hair is quite aging.

I'm ok with it for now, have no plans to go back and it's the thought of that dye-roots-dye-roots cycle that keeps me going. I'd love to be a brunette still but that's not who I am really anymore, grey is my natural colour. And yes, there is a big feminist message to me that dying hair is for other people and a societal need for women not to be allowed to age naturally.

How many of those people who change their hair colour are men?

Far more than you would think.
Its just hidden far more.
Men dying their hair is treated as a nasty joke and seen as shameful.
As for those who are grey, ask any nurse who works on a male ward.
Ive seen lots of men with grey roots if they are in for several weeks.
Their wives/ partners do it.

I ditched the dye several years ago and quite frankly I don't care if it makes me look older because I know how old I am and that all that matters. There is the added bonus that in 40 years time I will still look the same and therefore be eternally youthful.

I think you are too young to embrace the grey.
As other posters have said, it is ageing.

If course you should go grey.