Would you ditch the dye?

[thesoundofthepolice]

Im 37 and my hair is so white, not even grey, it's pure white. i take after my mum who was the same, so much so I can't remember her with anything other than white hair. I need to dye it every 3-4 weeks and it's just such a chore.

The other issue is my hair is so dark and cool toned going lighter isn't really an option that won't be just as much hard work.

What would you do? Part of me wants to embrace the grey but I don't want to look old and haggard.

Have a look at the Instagram account Grombre - it really helped me decide to take the plunge and stop dyeing mine when I was 37. I love my grey and white hair now and have never looked back! For me it made a massive difference to see natural grey hair grown out before/during/after and realised I preferred all the afters so it helped me accept the during bit :)

People are hardly going to tell you it looks awful though are they if you are determined to do it

You haven’t met my friends, have you?! They’re brutal!

I haven't died my hair as I have been lucky enough not to have much grey, I am 63. This year however I noticed more coming through. I manged to get a hair appointment for a cut. The hairdresser asked what I was going to do about my grey, I ummed and ahhed, he suggested I embrace it, I was very nervous, DH was 'OMG'.
But I went with the suggestion and now have highlights which go down to quite blond on the ends, just at the front. I love it, everybody says how good it looks, and I don't think it ages me, quite the opposite because of the blond bits, it looks styled not just left to go grey.

I’ve namechanged as obviously this is incredibly outing but I’m the same age as you and ditched the dye a year ago. I regularly get stopped whilst out shopping (in the opticians this week!) with people asking me how I get my hair this colour. I don’t think the answer they are expecting is ‘a teen pregnancy and more than a decade working as a midwife’

In summation, do it, I guess it can be ageing but honestly the grind of dying every two to three weeks is exhausting and I don’t regret my choice to embrace whatever my natural colour was.

I have similar hair to OP and am thinking of growing out the grey, but only once I’ve lost weight and have time to make more effort with makeup and clothes (i.e. am no longer chasing round after a 2 year old). I realise it’s all social conditioning but to my mind there’s a massive difference between what I’d look like as a fat scruffy 35 year old with white hair than an in-shape smart 35 year old with white hair.

ha ha OP - good idea on the QVC specials :) I'm tempted by the diamonique sometimes

It's lovely @Greyat37

Greyat37 - your hair is fantastic!!!

The colour is very even - and a lovely shade - plus it looks great with your skin tone.

I've done it. Maybe it does age me. But I think dyed hair can be ageing too. Tbh age is ageing, I get loads of compliments. Obviously I would rather be 20 with glorious shiny dark hair but I'm not and I found grey roots really depressing. Good luck with whatever you decide

Thank you 😊 I use purple shampoo once a week to keep it white/grey as otherwise it has a tendency to look yellow.

@ImperfectTents likewise I see some people now with obviously dyed hair and think it looks very ageing on them.

At about your age, I went down the super-expensive route of having it cut in a long bob and gradually lightened with quite a lot of highlights. It was nice for a week or maybe two at a push and then I'd be using root touch-up. I found myself going back every 4 weeks to get the roots done. Every 5 or 6 months the hairdresser would go a little bit lighter. This continued until I totted up how much I was spending/year and she went on maternity leave.

Over the past 4 or 5 years, I've had my hair cut shorter and used a 3-4 monthly dye with a regular root top up (so I was a chestnut light brown). Some dyes worked, others lasted a couple of washes.

In lockdown I figured it was "now or never" to go grey. I bought some dye remover, which I followed up a day or so later with an ash blond dye (which worked surprisingly well) and let the dark hair grow through. The great weather in the spring meant I had quite a good tan (and it seemed less shocking). I'm a dab hand with the hairclippers so there was a "plan B" if my hair looked wrecked. My hair is in really good condition now I'm not dyeing it.

You can always get it coloured it again if you don't like it.

age is ageing so true

I am just nipping back on to say that @Greyat37's hair looks lovely. Purple shampoo and conditioner works really well (but I've learned not to leave it on as long as suggested).

I vote do it.

I was as naturally dark as you are. Once the greys started popping through there was no hiding them (root dye every 2 weeks, hair mascara in between). Ended up being ever so slightly extra and shaving my head to let new colour grow in (was about 34). As you can see my hair now is very multi tonal, from dark grey to pure white. I could never get my dark hair to lift enough for highlights and now I have em for free 😀. It's also incredibly low maintenance.

Sometimes I feel a bit blah but nothing a bold lipstick can't fix. As a very wise poster said upthread, age is what ages us, not our hair colour.

Love your hair @QuentinQuarantino!

Wow, greyat37 and quentinquarantino you both have fantastic hair!

@BikeTyson

Wow, greyat37 and quentinquarantino you both have fantastic hair!

They certainly do. And that’s put paid to the ageing argument.

I have just turned 60 been having blonde highlights on my mousey brown hair for over 40 years, last January decided to go back to my natural colour, so after 9 months its looking darker, i do put a few highlight in my fringe at the top parting and around my face myself, and I use a shampoo for white light hair to keep what bleach I have left light, it takes a lot to get used to, but love not having to spend hours at the hairdressers, i wish I had white grey hair, to blend in,i have hardly any grey hair at all.

I wouldn't because I don't think anyone looks good with grey hair versus their natural hair colour but that's just my personal opinion.

Thanks Lily. None taken 😂😂

@Lily193

I wouldn't because I don't think anyone looks good with grey hair versus their natural hair colour but that's just my personal opinion.

But grey is some people’s natural colour 🤷‍♀️

@workshy44

I am in the minority here as most people on MN seem to think grey is not aging but I think in most cases it is. I think 60 + fine but you are still a v young women and I do think yes it will age you to go grey this young. So to answer your question, you won't look haggard but yes in my opinion you will look older. I have never met anyone in real life who didn't look a lot older from going grey People will give you photos of these amazing grey/silver haired models and but I think they are the exception, not the rule

Totally agree with this. Its not only the colour but the texture. I gave it a go during lockdown, it looked so drab

I'm your age with darker hair and like you I hate greys. I do dye my roots at home every 3-4 weeks. I also use spray for in between times. L'Oréal is a good one.

@Greyat37 and @QuentinQuarantino your hair looks fab. I think mine would be similar to @QuentinQuarantino colour wise. I wish I could wake up to it all grown out! I'm too impatient for the inbetween stage

It's been about 8weeks since I dyed it, it needs a good cut so might try and hold off dying it but get it cut/styled.

@Lily193 grey is natural fur some people though. At this point I think I'm naturally more grey than I am brown.

I think grey only looks good on young and quirky people or people in their 60s. Sorry to offend anyone else but have yet to see anyone other than that where grey doesn't make them look old and frumpy. I am in the same boat as you but I am early 50s I'm not ready to go grey yet. Have been dying my hair since 17.