Letting my hair go grey at 43

[Blurpblorp]

I've been dyeing it brown for 15 years and am just fed up. Had enough of the unfair beauty standard. Had enough of feeling shame / embarrassment when my roots grow through. Fed up of the expense of dyeing it.

My hair is a salt and pepper colour with white streaks I think, but currently dark blonde. Has anyone got any tips for dealing with this transition, then for life with grey hair at a relatively young age? How to deal with the awful way it looks while it grows out... Any shampoo recommendations? I have quite a lot of black in my wardrobe so imagine I might have to wear different colours?

I've got bob length hair, am alright looking, decent skin, niceish figure although my hair is shit really fine. I think if I keep it cut nicely and in good condition I could pull it off. Don't want to look old before my time. I'm really excited about it but would appreciate any advice!

Anyone? Or am I doomed to look old and irrelevant?!

Honestly loads of people will tell you to go for it but I tried it for a while (am 46, light brown hair) and I. Just looked like I'd "let myself go"
People took more notice of me once I started dyeing it again, sad but true

I tried it at 40 and it was too young for me personally. It really did age me. I'm now getting full head highlights to very blonde. It's great. Plus as the difference is less stark I don't have to get it done so often. It's expensive and time consuming but I feel better. I can't pretend to be right on when it didn't work for me!!

I did it when I was a couple of years older than you and my original natural hair colour was very dark brown. I started getting highlights put in and then lightening the base colour then stopping the base colour and growing out the highlights. It probably took around a year, but I never looked like a skunk! The lighter coloured base wasn't great on me when I see photos, but it did the trick. I did it with the help of my hairdresser and my hair was shorter than yours. Have you coloured your hair during lockdown? If not you could look at going shorter and lightening it to speed up the growing out process?

I haven’t dyed my hair since just before Lockdown started! It’s about 5 centimetres now. I’m enjoying seeing how it grows, I would say it’s 75% silver! Then the rest is very dark brown. The lengths are dyed very dark brown. I’m 43 this year.

I'm 49 and haven't had my hair dyed since February I don't like box dyes our hairdressers are not open here yet I think I'm just going to go for it and not re dye my hair, it.

i stopped dyeing my hair at 40 or so, it was getting for too expensive and difficult to keep on top of the roots (my hair grows stupidly quickly). Took the best past of a year to get rid of all the dye and see what was there underneath, which was actually quite silver and in really good condition once the dye was all gone.

It does age me a bit (a lot?) and needs a smarter style (of dressing and make up - which I am slack at tbf), but the colour suits me a lot better, and brightens up my face. I really don't suit blonde, which would be my only option for dye, as trying to go back to my pre-grey v dark would also look stupid, and again not suit me anymore.

I find it loads easier, as I'm not constantly checking my roots, and trying to work out the optimum time to dye based on what I'm doing. I do need to get back into the habit of makeup and lipstick and stuff, and also find a new hairdresser who isn't stupidly expensive (so I can get it trimmed more often) and cuts it how I ask for.

I haven't dyed my hair since February. Very white roots now. My hair is dyed brunette, so the contrast is very noticeable. Currently it's shoulder length, am thinking of having it all cut off really short and it'll be grey all in one go.

Haven't made an appointment yet because I'm still trying to decide

I looked into this at the beginning of lockdown but gave up I'm afraid as I really do have a skunk stripe. Very dark hair and most of the grey is at the front and top of my head!
I did discover what is essentially a hair mascara that I use to stretch out the time between dyes now.

@Blurpblorp purple shampoos and toners are your friend! As are headbands. The bleach London shampoos and semi permanent colours are brilliant.

If you are on Instagram or tiktok there are some great inspirations - one I found really useful is a blogger called Claire Hooper.

There are a lot of tips on how to get through the growing out phase - search #silversisters and #grombre.

A lot of people will tell you not to and it’ll make you look past it but looking back at pics where I was dyeing my hair to my natural colour, it was way more ageing - it looked fake and unhealthy.

Most people think I’ve dyed my silver streaks in now and I have only had positive comments.

I’m 40 btw.

Maybe keep using semi-permanent colours to bridge the gap until it's grown out sufficiently and then get the last of the permanent colour trimmed off and let the semi-permanent colour fade out?

If you're on Facebook look at grombre uk, silver circle and silver revolution, lots of growing out support.
I'm totally dye free and have gone back to wearing black, I couldn't when I was dyeing it dark, it looked awful, the grey is much more flattering to my skin tone.
I'm 51.

I don't think I would have contemplated it if we hadn't gone into a bloody pandemic I would have just continued getting it coloured but I'm quite relaxed about it (I think) and I'll just be getting it cut when I can.

Another one who hasn't henna'd since January, I miss the shine but am happy with my natural colour so will keep on growing out.

What does purple shampoo do to grey hair??

I don't think I've enough grey yet to benefit from purple shampoo but it helps tone the grey.

@MonaChopsis it can take the yellow tinge out but also really makes the grey sparkle. Different shades can give you a different result.
I’ve played around with the bleach London shampoos a lot - the silver shampoo made the grey brighter, the smoky one made the grey darker and the pearl one gives a lovely off white effect.
Other brands don’t seem to have the same impact on my hair, which is quite thick and wiry.

I've been growing out since March , I'm 53.

I found it is not as bad as I thought and seems to be going darker, I thought it was white but it isn't.

The dye contrast seems to make it look lighter.

I used to get roots after 3 weeks, hair feels better

I treated myself to a hair scrub and fancy shampoo and conditioner my hair feels lovely and the grey isnt springy like it had been.

I have let my hair grow out through lockdown and I’m 45. It doesn’t look hugely different as I was blonde with brown streaks when I had it coloured. I’ve decided I don’t care enough to fight for a spot with my (very oversubscribed) hairdresser. So I’m waiting till next year and I’ll book then.

So just let it be!

@Mrsjayy ooooh what hair scrub? Have wanted to try one but never sure if they are worth it!

It's an umberto Gianni one its lovely I use it once a week,

Thanks!

Hi, op, i’m the same age as you and have spent the last 15 years also trying to make the best of fine greying hair. I got fed up with box dyes, as they irritate my scalp so i used naturtint from holland and barret. Instead of having tide mark roots, i now have an ombre effect, so am growing the last dye out and feel i look fine.
I even asked my boss for advice, in case she thought i looked too shabby for the customer service role i have. She said it looked fine ( and she is smart and honest)

I started by having highlights to blend in the grey, then noticed as I got older my hair started going blonder in the summer. We went travelling when I was 55 for 12 months and had no further highlights, my hair went whiter. My hair is naturally streaked now, looks like I’ve been to the hairdresser, and hoes white in the summer.

I think unless you are very sallow grey hair on young people (i mean 40's 50's is v v aging. There is no getting away from it. Women will say they love it but I have yet to hear a man say he likes grey hair.
I have a friend who has fabulous hair which she let go grey, she literally looks 20 years older. He husband doesn't like it but doesn't say anything but he looks miles younger than her now

There is loads of time to be grey and look your age but I personally think 40 is way too young to start