Letting my hair go grey at 43

[Blurpblorp]

I've been dyeing it brown for 15 years and am just fed up. Had enough of the unfair beauty standard. Had enough of feeling shame / embarrassment when my roots grow through. Fed up of the expense of dyeing it.

My hair is a salt and pepper colour with white streaks I think, but currently dark blonde. Has anyone got any tips for dealing with this transition, then for life with grey hair at a relatively young age? How to deal with the awful way it looks while it grows out... Any shampoo recommendations? I have quite a lot of black in my wardrobe so imagine I might have to wear different colours?

I've got bob length hair, am alright looking, decent skin, niceish figure although my hair is shit really fine. I think if I keep it cut nicely and in good condition I could pull it off. Don't want to look old before my time. I'm really excited about it but would appreciate any advice!

No one expects or wants a consensus. The point is that you got the responses you did because of the way you expressed your opinion.

It's fine to give opinions but I've also noticed the anti grey are always ruder, basically insulting those who have gone grey. It's not just this thread but on others posters react as if we are lying that it didn't make us look older.

I'm experimenting with my hair. I'm going to try not to dye it until next year at the earliest. I'm fed up with having it dyed brown for it to fade to a brassy orange each time. My natural colour is a fairly dull light brown about 1/3 grey. I haven't had it dyed since the end of February and I have noticed the condition of it is much better.

@Cocolapew the fact that the first anti grey opinion started with ‘but men don’t like it’ says everything.

The two cardinal sins a woman can commit are not meeting men’s attractiveness standards and aging without being ashamed of it apparently.

Me n my stripes say ‘aw hell naw’ to that.

Come at the from the other end, I've started to get more noticeable greys now. I'm 37. I don't dye my hair. I feel like I need to make a decision whether to go with the flow and see how get I get, or start dying. In theory I want to leave it natural, I'm not into make up, I'm an environmental person by career, I buy ethical clothes, my kids wear tie dye. But I'm finding the getting more grey quite hard! It's psychologically pretty interesting! I might need a new haircut with an actual style...

Loads of typos, sorry

But none of you care about looking young or what men think according to your posts so why would you care that I think young people who go grey makes them look older ?
What does that matter if neither are important to the people who post on the style and beauty board??
Yes it was tactless , but people don't seem to be concerned with tact generally on this board.. apart from the grey issue it seems. If someone posted in another section I wouldn't have replied but this is style and beauty so one would assume someone posting here cares about such things as opposed to " i don't care what men, anyone thinks or about getting older" yet in another post there is a 20 step regime on a skin care routine. Anyway I'm out..

In fairness I don’t think I said I don’t care about looking young, I did say that I don’t think my grey aged me, certainly not by 20 years or whatever bonkers theory was spouted above. I’ve never asked my husband if he finds it attractive as he still tried to dry humps me when I bend down to put stuff in the dishwasher so I think I’m ok on that score 😂

I actually think obviously dyed hair with half an inch of roots between dye jobs looks more ageing than Someone who has committed to the process. I know personally I used to hate the way I looked when the grey used to start coming through far more than I hate what I see in the mirror now.

But that is very much a personal opinion on my own appearance.

I started going grey at 17 so have spent decades colouring it. Frankly the only people who seem to carry off grey hair at a relatively young age have it short and funky or dress in a way so as not to look frumpy. Veering towards rock chick look. Everyone else just looks ten years older than they are. And I really don't like the trend for dying hair grey in your 20s - it makes them look sallow.

I started going grey around 18 or so but I actually have been bleaching and dying my hair white/silver for years now because I love it so much. It’s my favourite hair colour and I think it looks stunning on anyone! Not sure what my real hair is looking like these days but it was originally a cool mid brown. DM on the other hand has been box dying her hair dark brown for 20+ years and the colour has become very flat and aging on her, she’s desperate to get a good colourist to soften it slightly!

As pp said, Bleach London for purple shampoos, conditioners and toners to get it to a really clean shade of white or silver. Good luck I bet you’ll look fab!

I'm 45 and used to have dark brown hair. Now it's really grey around the temples and top layer, but still brown underneath. I decided a while ago I just couldn't be bothered with the roots situation; hairdresser does them (I get bored in the hairdresser), within 10 days they're showing, so I do them at home every 10 days (booorrrring) or use touch up kits etc. Until the hairdresser. So I just stopped. I did initially have some highlights to blend it in for a bit but then stopped.

Now I use purple shampoo sometimes, but mostly now when I have my hair cut the hairdresser puts some ombre bright pink in. No regrowth hassle - it's semi-permanent so tends to last about 4-5 weeks, and it's more of an ombre / underneath layer, so not right up to the roots so there isn't any regrowth. It brightens it up a bit, work are fine with it etc.

My original aim was to let the grey happen, and I will eventually do that, but for now the pink is fun and still fixes the roots touch up situation. And of course there's plenty of grey in there as well as the pink. Think of it as pink highlights in the underneath layer... hard to picture I know !

I find it needs a bit more effort to look half decent; if I let it air dry I feel a bit old and unkempt. But my hair is frizzy anyway so always needed a bit of help to look decent. It's been no-pink and grey for a few weeks now during lockdown and it looks fine if I dry and straighten it - less fine if I air dry for it to go curly/frizzy.

I think do whatever you want! It's definitely way less stress and dull than doing roots constantly, and showing regrowth within days! Liberating :)

I'm 49 and started going grey at 16. I grew mine out a few years ago, but you've got to do what's right for you. My main reasons were dyeing it dark was no longer manageable as the roots grew out so fast and the colour no longer suited me. I went mid brown, but it faded to a tone that was too warm and I thought that it was more ageing than actually going silver. This is a photo I shared on the curly girl thread.

It took me a couple of years to grow it out (I went blonde first and decided I didn't like it, neither did my scalp and hair) and to grow it longer again. So, I probably do look older as I am older than when it was dyed . I would agree that there are some good silver hair groups on fb, worth checking out. Silver hair does behave differently to dyed hair, it can discolour easily and needs more conditioning. I think my hair is healthier now, though.

I'm 48 and I've been growing my dyed hair colours out for the past year or so. I just got so fed up of the condition and wanted to see what grey I have. I've got another 3 inches to go, a good hair cut will see to that and then I'm thinking highlighting it to blend it all in. I'm hoping that won't affect the hair condition too much.
I love all the photos of people greys. I wish mine was like @Mercedes519 all silvery.

59 with hardly any grey hairs, currently growing out my bleach light blonde highlights after 30 odd years, back to dark blonde mousey colour, friend of mine same age, has lots of grey hair it looks lovely, I was hoping mine will go the same, will save so much money not having to go to the hair dressers.

But none of you care about looking young or what men think according to your posts so why would you care that I think young people who go grey makes them look older ?

So you assume that if women don't dye their hair to look attractive to men, or to try and look younger (very often doesn't work anyway), they don't care about looking good?

I transitioned to my white silver grey from dying my dark brunette hair for 20+ years at the age of 42. Yes there are so e shitty moments in transition, it keep it well cut, in good condition and ride the wave. You will not regret it. I would not have believed anyone if they told me my grey hair would be my best hair ever. But it is and I love it

I feel your pain. I have similar hair type to you, blonde bob, very fine texture. I have a hair appointment tomorrow, the first after lockdown so of course the roots have grown out quite a lot. I reckon I'm never going to have a better opportunity to bite the bullet but don't want to go completely grey so my hairdresser is going to give me highlights and lowlights instead of a straight tint and hopefully this should blend nicely with my natural colour. It can't hurt to try 😁

I'm fairly grey and have been dying my own since mid-March and think that I make a better job of it than the hairdresser. I use "Superdrug Colour Effect Wash Out" which blends in the grey. It actually washes out fairly quickly but isn't harsh enough to really lighten my naturally darker hair colour. I'm guessing that if you chose a colour near your own hair colour it would blend in most of the greys and you could gradually go from solid dark colour to a softer blended colour. Once the dark colour has grown out you can stop using the dye and it will gradually wash out.

Apologies if it's already been mentioned, but has anyone tried the dye strip technique for going grey in secret? katiegoesplatinum.com/category/blog/

Thanks everyone. So many amazing pictures and positive experiences!

Yes I tried that Cherry and may do so again, I'm not adverse to dying again but nice to have a break

Yes I tried that Cherry and may do so again, I'm not adverse to dying again but nice to have a break

I'm 42, been dyeing it for years, I always hated the roots. Now that it's a fairly good amount of grey due to not being able to go to the hairdressers, I quite like it. I wish I was blonde though, I'm more mahogany-light brown so it's more obvious (although, annoyingly, it would be blonde if I'd left it at it's natural colour). I'm going to leave it for the time being and see how I feel, but although I don't see myself as old I also don't see myself as young, so I'm willing to try it.

Is there anyone who started to go grey young who left it? Love this thread thanks ladies especially those of you have been brave enough to share photos. I'm only 26 but began going grey when I was pregnant at 24! Nobody in my family went grey young so dunno why it's happening to me, I'm presuming hormones and possibly the effects of severe, chronic mental illness since childhood (is that possible? I just assume illness ages you, physical and mental alike). Anyway I have some thing, noticeable streaks but not loads. It is noticeable though especially as my hair is otherwise dark brown. I'm definitely not intending to colour it any time soon for many reasons - it's not really bothering me at present, I still look so young that the bus drivers still sometimes give me a child day ticket by mistake, I don't have the time or money for regular salon visits. But I am wondering whether to actually ever bother or just leave it. I've not heard of anyone leaving it who went grey this young though?