Letting my hair go grey at 43

[Blurpblorp]

I've been dyeing it brown for 15 years and am just fed up. Had enough of the unfair beauty standard. Had enough of feeling shame / embarrassment when my roots grow through. Fed up of the expense of dyeing it.

My hair is a salt and pepper colour with white streaks I think, but currently dark blonde. Has anyone got any tips for dealing with this transition, then for life with grey hair at a relatively young age? How to deal with the awful way it looks while it grows out... Any shampoo recommendations? I have quite a lot of black in my wardrobe so imagine I might have to wear different colours?

I've got bob length hair, am alright looking, decent skin, niceish figure although my hair is shit really fine. I think if I keep it cut nicely and in good condition I could pull it off. Don't want to look old before my time. I'm really excited about it but would appreciate any advice!

51 and I've decided to grow out my grey - I figure CV19 lockdown is the perfect excuse for having bad roots for a while I'm a brunette, so the difference is quite noticeable; at the moment it just looks as though I've got too bright a light aimed over my head. I'm intrigued to see how it looks when the colour boundary is halfway down my head. Off to look at #grombre now!

@Mrstwiddle but it DOESN’T always age the person as I and several posters can attest.

It’s far more to do with our own preconceptions about what grey/silver hair means than the reality of how grey hair actually looks.

Very often people look better with their natural hair colour as it’s more in line with their skin tone, which also changes as we age.

My silver streaks are around my face and make my skin look way fresher than my dyed colour did.

@Starsabove1 so true - the natural colour suits my skin tone so much better and is more flattering than the dye, no matter how natural my stylist tried to make it.

I started growing out my dye when I was 38, and now I have waist length silver/white hair at nearly 48. I think it looks great, and fwiw, a number of men (inc Dh) have told me how great it looks. I don't think it makes me look older - but even if it does, having shiny, healthy hair is worth it to me

I'm 42 and have let my hair dye grow out. Im probably about 50% grey.

I look my age which is absolutely fine. After a few personal issues I see grey hair as a priviledge. I'm lucky to be growing older and enjoying my life.

I've noticed that generally, people who struggle or put down women growing out their grey tend to be older themselves. Younger people seem to give less of a sh*t. I'm not sure why that is.

I think it's the connotation and women did used to look older with curly perms and bouffant styles possibly

I started to grow mine out at 41. I began by using semipermanent home colouring kits so it faded out rather than grew. But then I also went for quite a short cut to help it on it's way. I haven't coloured it for about 5/6 years and yes, it ages me, but I know how old I am, it doesn't really matter, it's just hair.

I think good styles, sharp cuts, really help. Grey hair signify to some that you've "given up" but a well maintained style balances that.

The only thing that I miss is wearing certain colours. I used to be dark hair, dark eyes and olive skin and I would wear a lot of earthy, forest tones but they don't suit me now.

Go for it, you can always go back to colouring it if you want. But most people I know who get so far don't go back.

I've got lockdown roots too, I wouldn't use a box, and haven't managed to get fitted in with my stylist yet. But I'm not tempted to grow it out - grey hair is very ageing, I think.

@workshy44

I think unless you are very sallow grey hair on young people (i mean 40's 50's is v v aging. There is no getting away from it. Women will say they love it but I have yet to hear a man say he likes grey hair. I have a friend who has fabulous hair which she let go grey, she literally looks 20 years older. He husband doesn't like it but doesn't say anything but he looks miles younger than her now

There is loads of time to be grey and look your age but I personally think 40 is way too young to start

I'm 50 and my dh is as fine with my salt and pepper as with his garlic and ginger.

I feel like I've found my people :)

I'm mid-40s and decided to drop the dye back in November. Plan was to keep it short whilst it grew out but lockdown soon stopped that plan. I'm happy with the grey (i have fabulous pure white hair at the front) but my previously dyed hair has now gone very ginger! So I'm currently a mix of white, dark brown and ginger.

Having it cut tomorrow and I'm beyond excited.

Reasons are same as others. I'm mid 40s. Fed up of dying it, and want to own my age. Don't really care if I look older either. I am the age I am. Men don't dye their hair so why do we think women have to? Why does it matter to stay looking young?

I think the new Eva Longoria hair dye ad is very cynical. L'Oréal realised that a small percentage of women were using the lockdown to experiment with going back to their natural hair colour. Therefore they came up with an ad campaign to make sure they don't lose any customers.
Again, I totally believe everyone should have the hair they want and dyed hair can look great. That ad in particular just seems likeva needless annoyance in a difficult time.

Good on you OP that’s refreshing to hear. It’ll save you money as well.

Thank you everyone that’s really kind. I’m really happy with my hair and I would definitely encourage anyone to do it!

This is my transitional plan to grey, when I get to that stage. There's great colouring and techniques these days so that you should be able to transition pretty seamlessly.

I watch a lot of hair videos and this is a screenshot from one. Heaps on grey colouring for inspiration and ideas of what would suit you.

I’m genuinely curious...all the fear about ageing and being judged as ‘old’ - what difference would that make to your life?

Seriously not judging as ‘youth’ is highly valued in our society. However I’ve noticed no difference since I went grey. I have the same respect at work, the same relationship with my (grey) DH. I can do everything I want to do.

What do you worry will happen?

Yes the advert about discovering greys - how awful, like it's the worst thing in the world

It's one less thing to worry about not having to dye.

I have said in the past I would love to live on a desert isle and grow my hair out, lockdown facilitated this in a sense

I am short (4ft 11) and if I let my hair go grey would look like a little old lady, especially from behind. I feel I would be more of a target for mugging when it and about. I live in London. I regard having my hair coloured as (partly) a safety issue.

I'm your height Mosaic and I've never thought of my hair colour making me feel safe especially now as a lot of teenage And younger women dye their hair silver/grey so anybody could be a "little old lady"

I'm going grey at 32 and stopped dying my hair last year. I let it grow out for a bit then cut my hair very short and kept it short until I had cut all the dyed bits out. It's not super grey but distinctively salt and pepper. Does it make me look older and less polished? Yes. I am choosing to not give a shit. I have also stopped wearing makeup. If people think I look like I've let myself go then that's their problem. I didnt ask for these stupid beauty standards to be imposed on women, and I'm not going to cooperate with it any longer. If the consequence of that is that some women judge me and I become more invisible to creepy men, I can live with that.

I've had grey hair since my 20s, and dyed it. I got really fed up a few years ago, and started having blonde highlights through to blend with the grey, and it was a huge mistake - one I massively regret. My hair literally turned into straw over the next couple of years, and with the grey too I just had this awful straw like hair - so I had a short cut and decided to grow the lot out. It took 18 months - and I hated it. My grey isn't a nice grey - it's coarse and wiry, white and sticks out at all angles. So during lockdown, I cracked and went to a box dye in a medium brown (naturally I'm a really dark ash brown). The condition has changed completely, and although I've got grey roots that need touching up once a month, my hair is so so different. I'm 49 and just not ready to go all over grey as mine really did age me due to the colour.

I honestly think it depends on your grey! And nothing else matters apart from how you feel about it. DH did admit to feeling relieved I'd gone dark again as I look like me again apparently!

I’ve been thinking about this a lot since the start of this thread and something has occurred to me. Those of us who have owned our grey are pretty laid back on the issue while pro dyers seem to think it’s fine to insult us - 20 years older, you look 60, men hate it, little old lady, etc.

Maybe it’s a certain kind of woman who’s self confident and comfortable in her own skin who embraces the grey and doesn’t feel she has anything to prove.

Jesus christ, its a style and beauty board. The OP ASKED for opinions, if people are happy with themselves why do they care what anyone else thinks.
Also there is so much judgement from the other side too, like we are some youth crazed obsessives. Also it is so hypercritical this argument about hair. It never seems to be the same with skin and peoples regimes are off the charts.
I really really don't care what anyone else does with their hair. I have shit hair after losing about 90% of it when I had kids but the op asked "would she look old before her time if she let it grow out" and I gave my honest opinion based on people I have seen do it

Your last post is contradictory. If you don't care then why say it? It is possible to express an opinion that you think having grey hair ages people without stating it makes them look 20 years older which is bound to get a response from those who disagree with you!

I don't care, why would I care what someone who i don't know does with their hair. It was a opinion based on a question someone asked.

In future I'll make sure to agree with the consensus if someone asked for an opinion

I think it was slightly tactless, 20 years older?