How to not look middle aged

[Justtakeatowel]

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

Op you just need to sort out your hair,
You look awesome!

What’s your face like? I think fillers make a big difference if done properly

Exercise, drink lots of water, moisturise.
Absolutely no grey hair.
Botox is up to you.
Don't wear heels unless you're really into them. Hardly anyone wears them nowadays, at least during the daytime.

I found Clocks list quite depressing! All that time and money just to improve your outward appearance. I think the problem is we see all these celebrities hitting 50 and looking good and feel we have to live up to it. Up to around 45 I always looked a good few years younger than my age. But between 45 and 50 it all caught up on me! I made a conscious decision not to get caught up in trying to maintain my younger looks. I’m always clean and presentable but yes I look 50 now, I don’t see that as a bad thing.

OP the good news is you have a cracking figure; broad shoulders, slim, tall. You already look good as far as I can see although I realise you want more constructive advice than that!

AS you get older (and I've just turned 50) it's easy to keep doing the same thing that you've always done. If you don't mind me saying, you're wearing stripy tops and jeans that could be from any time in the last 10-12 years. It's very easy to just cling to what you wore and how you looked when you were in your prime, and that's more likely to make you look frumpy than anything. I'm not suggesting dress like a teenager, but do you have a friendly teenager you could chat to for some ideas?

I'd agree with others that cheap tops & t-shirts are fine when you're young, lithe & lovely but when you're a bit older they just look scruffy and crap. Invest in much better quality clothes.

But before you spend another penny get your colours done (or work them out yourself). The pale stripy top and the vest top in your photos are NOT your colours and you are throwing good money after bad if you buy things that make you look washed out. Washed out is another way of saying that you've lost the colour from your cheeks and that look of vitality. You'll never look 'wow' in the wrong colours!!!

Buy clothes that suit your shape and colour.

I went shopping with a friend and tried on a lovely sheer grey top. Made me look frumpy. Friend tried it on. Stunning.

I am someone who is probably considered 'old' not 'middle-aged' now, but this is what I think:

Grooming: Nice nails, hair (see below), coordinating clothes ( or deliberately un-coordinated if that's your style). Clean, polished shoes with the heels repaired when necessary
Hair: A good cut and colour done regularly and make sure you style it yourself every day.

Clothes: Find a style that suits you and add good accessories (don't overdo). So fabulous earrings or a necklace or scarf etc but avoid the Christmas tree effect. Mix cheaper with more expensive and always buy in sales if it's something that fits in with what you have. Do not buy because it's a 'bargain'. Only keep what fits. Never 'it will when I've lost the weight...'
Make-up: I think it's important. I see women beautifully dressed - work or leisure - and no make-up and it just lacks 'finish'

Personally I hate the botox/filler route. It's rare it's done well enough not to be noticed and if you do notice it, it's because it looks ridiculous.

You have a lovely toned looking figure. But I would definitely do something with your hair. New cut and colour would make you feel differently about your perceived frumpiness. mid 40s is a great age - you still can make a difference to your figure and skin.

I think you look really good. Maybe invest in some simple earrings and a necklace or if you are feeling your style is more than simple a few costume jewellery pieces, dangly earrings, etc. A colourful scarf round your neck could also make quite a plain outfit dressy. But feeling like you is the most important thing.

Oh, and you don’t need Botox, fillers etc. My dm has always used the basic blue Nivea pot as a moisturiser, and has great skin.

@Meruem I completely get your point, and that's great if that is what's important to you and you're comfortable with. Each to their own.

Looking good, feeling good and staying healthy is important to my self-esteem, it helps me feel energetic and good about myself. I take pride in my appearance for myself, for no-one else. I think it's inspiring to see women in the public eye looking fantastic in their 40s, 50s and beyond; I don't feel I have to "live up to it" but it shows me/ us that looking and feeling vibrant isn't limited to the young!

9 stone 9 at 5 foot 7 has to be super slim!

It’s slim @dementedma, but not super slim. I’m the same height and weight and am a size 12 with no boobs.

Disagree with the comment about Botox being ‘important’ and the need for fillers

I agree mrslebon. I also disagree with the wear heels comment. I think, perhaps the poster that made these suggestions doesn’t live in the type of world I live in – rural, work in an environment where these things aren’t important.

I agree about having a good haircut and colour. I also think that wearing the right colours for your skin tone and clothes for your shape make a huge difference.

Op you have a good figure.
I would ditch the curly girl method.
I would get hair coloured, blonde would suit you and get extensions for fullness. I would make sure your teeth are whitened and straightened. I would donate all the boat neck britton tops i would also get a spray tan.
You wont look essex glam with extensions and tan .. holly willoughby for example has these and she doesnt look rough so dont be scared of them as they arent permanent if you really hate them.

Nice fashion trainers with midis, wide trousees and jeans.

Imo it’s all about shape. Every time some woman of 60 or 70 is hailed as looking great, it’s always a person who is very lean, with thin arms and legs and, more often than not, thick hair, regardless of colour.

Your average British woman is naturally a pear, with a soft arms, legs and stomach and fine hair. Being lean involves a huge amount of work, gym, running etc which a scandinavian person for example would not have to bother with.

I am a Welsh type. However expensive my clothes (ha ha) I would not look stylish because there’s no dealing with chunky legs and sturdy forearms on a 5’3” frame.

Ultimately it doesn't matter. Once you are over fifty you become invisible, so you can try to stay as 'on trend' as you like or run around naked but for a string vest.

Nobody will notice you, whatever.

I'm 50, I made a decision at the beginning of the year that I was sick of boring, middle aged, middle class clothes (and life in general if I'm honest, but then lockdown hit and got no life at all!!).
I said I was going to spend the whole year wearing band T shirts and leather jackets and I largely have.
I also like Forgotten Tribes for hanging around the house and Ralph Lauren for if I have to go somewhere smarter (Have friends in Milan, not sure that the stone roses look would go down so well there, not that Milan is even accessible now!).

The best way to not look frumpy is to stop giving a fuck and start wearing and dressing in a way that expresses you. Baggy, simple jumpers don't really express anything other than liking comfort. Finding a baggy jumper with something about it makes a huge difference. When your style expresses your personality properly you go from being described by basic facts like your age, weight, height etc. To being described by your style "The woman in the bright colours" "The woman who always looks put together" etc.

It really does make a huge difference.

Rant follows - I do find it heartbreaking reading the references to Botox and fillers. In my experience, these are always perceptible and always make someone look worse. It is an horrific indication of societal dysfunction, ageism and misogyny when when I see women, especially younger women, ruin their faces and build trouble for the future. I know it is difficult when this is promoted by mainstream and social media and from companies to dental nurses make billions from it. I can't believe actresses ruin one of their professional tools by disabling their expression and just encourage more women to this this is the norm, beneficial and acceptable. Aaargh.

Nobody will notice you, whatever.

That’s so not true, there are very many noticeable and attractive, stylish, eye catching women over fifty, don’t write us off.

More than botox i find the defreatist if your this tall or thia body shape or above that age then no point utterly fucking depressing.

So i shall just curl up in a ditch and die then? 😂

I am not saying this to be a bitch but advice like make sure your shoes are clean, outfits coordinated and add a colourful scarf are going to make you look more frumpy and middle aged not less!

There's absolutely nothing wrong with dressing like a smart, glamorous older woman but the OP specifically said she wanted to stop looking middle aged and frumpy.

Do you really think fashionable women in their 20s and 30s polish their shoes (more likely to be in trainers!!) or add colourful scarves to liven up their outfits?!

I agree a bit with Nanny0gg.

OP, you don't look particularly middle-aged. Your hair is OK but could do with more volume.

That beige vest top need to be removed from your wardrobe, it is hideous.

You look perfectly ok, but I suggest you do some toning exercises and if you wear tops without a bra, make sure they have a bit of support.

The striped jumper is nice and looks good on you. The stripy t-shirt looks like a supermarket top bought a few years ago.

Stay away from the beigy colours.

Decent underwear is very important.

Good shoes are also important.Those hotter shoes or sandals with a trainer sole always look very middle aged to me.

I'm 50, I made a decision at the beginning of the year that I was sick of boring, middle aged, middle class clothes (and life in general if I'm honest, but then lockdown hit and got no life at all!!). I said I was going to spend the whole year wearing band T shirts and leather jackets and I largely have

Im in my 30s. My sil in her 50s. She looks better than me clothed and in a bikini.

I yoyoed, she kept her weight within a stone. She has better genens. And we are both shorties..so no scandi tall type. Shes out with very good looking guys in 20s and 30s and was always a head turner with attractive partners. So... its not so much an age thing.

You have a fabulous figure. I think you need some colour though, in both your hair and your clothes. You say that you've been going gradually lighter with your hair. To hell with that! When the salons open again, book into a good one and get yourself some decent highlights, two or three shades of blonde and go a good few shades lighter. I think it'll make so much difference.