I get the awqward feeling a lot, sometimes I feel as if I have to apologise for the way I look which is daft as in most other ways I am very confident. I have only been on two mumsnet meetups and I was convinced that as soon as soon as my back was turned everyone would be commenting on how ugly I was.
It took me weeks to pluck up the courage to look at my wedding photos and I spend most of my time on holidays worrying that someone will catch me on camera. I sobbed when I found out people had looked at my wedding photos while I was on honeymoon as I just knew that during what was supposed to be a happy time for me people had been laughing at me and that my looks ahd in effect ruined what could have been a dream wedding.
When I found out I was pregnant I agonised over whether dd would be as ugly as me and was relieved that she was not. I still don;t know how I have ended up with a pretty daughter. She does have a look of me which really worries me, I feel so guilty that I may have passed on my ugly gene.
To meet me in real life I don't think you could guess all of this was going on though as I love fashion and certainly don't dress to blend in and I know what to wear to suit my shape.
Someone said earlier that they wish someone had made clear to them in their teens early twenties that this was their blooming phase. I can remember beinng about 19 or 20 and a friend saying to me that I was one of the prettiest people she knew and I brushed it aside. I look back now and I know she was right I was actually quite beautiful and would love to look that way again.
jajas I am constantly looking at other women that I think are attractive and wondering what that must feel like.
This infuriates dp who I know thinks I am a stunner and knowing that has helped me immensely.