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Do you think you are attractive?

285 replies

noddyholder · 16/09/2007 13:48

I ahev just moved and met the only neighbour i think who isn't about 100!She is about 35 boden-y with kids and seemsnice but we were chatting about annie lennox as she had a paper with her picture on it and she was saying how it is harder for women who are attractive to accept aging and she was dreading it as she had spent her life getting what she wanted because of her looks!I was speechless for once and said little back but i would never say that although I am not what I was at 42 I was ok in my youth but it just shocked me So come on do you think you're gorge and has it helped or hindered you?

OP posts:
nooka · 16/09/2007 14:20

I think it depends on your definition - and how modest you are! I would not regard myself as pretty, and certainly didn't think of myself as attractive when I was growing up, but because I am tall and slim (I generally think of myself as skinny on top with a big bottom, but I know that's not how I am seen - height can hide many sins!) my colleages tell me that I should be proud of the way I look, and that I too "scrub up well". Mostly I don't even think about how I look, and I suspect that I will look fairly similar in ten years time, because my family don't change much shape wise. I wouldn't consider that how I look has any relevance to anything much I have done in my life, but certainly in my younger days at work I did find that when working with older and more important consultants, trying the same approach that I used on my father was fairly effective in persuading them to do their audits. I wouldn't be able to do that anymore, because that was about youth not looks. It's sad when you only have one trick in your box though isn't it? Recalling the apauling Apprentice character, I suspect that that's what she has coming to her in years ahead.

mintchips · 16/09/2007 14:23

Never would have said I was gorge but
I used to think I was ok before I had children and it did help me with my confidence. But 3 babies and breastfeeding have taken their toll and I don't feel as confident as I used to about my body.

Dp still fancies me so thats good

MABS · 16/09/2007 14:23

Aw thanks Nodders,truly don't think thats quite true tho. No, the contoversial bit i was going to post is that I know my best assets well, and don't hesitate to use them at work!

I have a fairly decents pair of Norks, and there are certain male clients that i have to see for work fairly regularly. I know that if i wear a lower top or have a button more undone, they just eat of my hand. By the same token with female clients I put them away. And, if i really need a work favour from a male client, the legs and tits will be out

I also realise that, due ageing, I might have to actually use my brain some time soon instead

ghosty · 16/09/2007 14:27

I become more attractive with each glass of wine that I drink

EscapeFrom · 16/09/2007 14:39

PMSL @ Ghosty, I daren't put makeup on when I have been drinking, or I look like a right raddle old bag!

Pruners · 16/09/2007 14:42

Message withdrawn

JeremyVile · 16/09/2007 14:42

I have to stay away from the make-up bag when I've had a drink.
I always think that I could do with just a touch more mascara then a bit more blusher....and I always get the lipstick out....bad bad move, even when sober!

MaryAnnSingleton · 16/09/2007 14:48

newlifenewname - you are lovely -I've seen your profile - how can you not feel attractive ?! I feel like an old husk lots of the time, only occassionally feel ok - but I tend to severe self-criticism in everything ! ds and dh think I look nice and that means a lot ! Doesn't help being one of the older mums and seeing lots of whippersnappers at the school gates, but if I'm honest I do at least look young for my age. I have only a bit of grey and no saggy neck yet,for which I'm eternally grateful !

MaryAnnSingleton · 16/09/2007 14:50

p.s. my mum was beautiful as a young (and older woman) like Audrey Hepburn - so I always compared myself unfavourably to her !

Peachy · 16/09/2007 14:53

Some people seem to think I am, I don't at all. In fact I have such low self esteem in that department I actually cry at What not to wear / Gok Wan type programmes!

Truth be told I suck appearance wise. My hair is a mess and i cant control it, its has that awful wide kink; my hips and upper half are out of proportion (big hips, titchy chest) and I even hate my cheek bones!

littlelapin · 16/09/2007 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IntergalacticWalrus · 16/09/2007 14:57

I dot think I a, attractive. My face is ok is (on a very good day) but the rest of me is shocking

I no longer turn heads, just milk

NappiesGalore · 16/09/2007 14:59

well theres obvious surface good looks and more interesting unusual good looks isnt there. and then, that whole 'looks' thing is just one reason why a person may or may not be considered attractive... and the eye of the beholder etc.

as an 18yo, i had long blond hair and used to get whistled at and pestered on the street incessantly. and i know it wasnt coz im beautiful, coz half the time, they could only possbily have clocked the hair an the fact that i was young and female. but thats enough for some isnt it? i got my haircut in a bob and dyed brown about the same time i got glasses for first time that year... was amazing the difference! i was invisible!! (on the streets)

anyhoo... i think im more your interesting than model atractive, and a lot of the time i look like a pile of old boots, but well, i used to be a croupier and in that business its just a fact that you get ahead if your face fits. and id have to be seriously stubborn not to admit i must be at least ok looking given the amount of attention ive gotten - and i know that sounds vain but if it does then it does. looks do play a part in how people react to you... but anyone with half a brain can see past it.

its also well known that you beleive one negative comment over twenty positive ones.

the woman in op does sound like she could be a vain upherown arse twat, but OTOH, she could just be stating an insight not many of us notice coz were too busy managing our low self esteem to admit we are prob a fair number of peoples wet dream come true!! and i mean all of us there.

fireflyfairy2 · 16/09/2007 15:02

I have 4 sisters & I'm not pretty compared to them

I have short messy/spiky hair, am a size 14 & dress like a boy.

Last Sunday I wore camouflage trousers & a green top with a pair of cats... my dh said I looked like a butch lesbian Not that I cared... but he did.

My mother once said I was the best looking girl she had (and she wasn't drunk at the time) And my dh's grandad once said I was "really pretty close up" whatever that meant!

But, no, out of 10 I would perhaps say 5'ish..

dinny · 16/09/2007 15:09

I was a nice-looking child but then hideous from about 12-21, when I started getting lots more male attention for a few years - then it all went to pot a bit when I had kids and now feel a bit invisible generally.

TakeMetoBedorLosemeForever · 16/09/2007 15:11

well. . . my youngest sis is the prettiest of us three, but I think Im ok..I feel more confident about clothes now Im older, I had no clue what to wear when I was young,,,led to some fashion disasters (Ie. a lilac lace short silk nightie to go clubbing in, on holiday.)
Riding-style jodphur boots as school shoes (I have massive feet)
now I just stick to simple stuff and dont worry so much. I look a bit wrinklier, but dont smoke or drink a lot so I think Ill compare favourably to my peers in a few more years...

TheDuchessOfFlexiFeet · 16/09/2007 15:22

My body was always better than my face - athletic build with tits. Now my norks are too big and being short-bodied and long-legged, I just look like a toffee-apple. On a really wide stick.

And my feet are hideous.

WideWebWitch · 16/09/2007 15:31

No, I don't think I am. Dh does, luckily. And I think I was, years ago but now? No.

Interesting question though, have only read OP.

LilRedWG · 16/09/2007 16:04

Nope and it was confirmed at a family party last night by aunt saying, "You're such a big girl now, you used to be so slender" and brother saying, "Have you got another one in there? If not, you need to get to the gym". Ended up in tears in the ladies

LilRedWG · 16/09/2007 16:04

BTW - I'm 5' 7" and size 12. Rest of my family are super-waifs.

NKF · 16/09/2007 16:27

Noddyholder, was she good looking by the way? It would be funny if she wasn't.

NappiesGalore · 16/09/2007 16:29

noddy said she was quite plain iho

lilred - ouch.

Pruners · 16/09/2007 16:30

Message withdrawn

MrsTittleMouse · 16/09/2007 16:34

Bloody hell LilRedWG, lovely supportive family that you have!
I love that we're all either "attractive" or "average". I can buck that trend as I was mercilessly bullied for my looks when younger and had a doctor offer me cosmetic facial surgery (without me asking )! Even the men in my family (who are lovely) have called my looks "quirky", which was meant as a compliment.
DH seems to like the way I look though. I think that when I left home I became more attractive as I left my past behind and became more confident. I had a different, but similar, problem when I had DD. I always felt that I had snared DH by being silly and lots of fun, and (ahem) lots of fun , and childbirth gave me a painful scar and looking after a demanding DD made me exhausted. So that I wondered what was left that DH could possibly fancy. Things are starting to improve now though.

NappiesGalore · 16/09/2007 16:35

my mum is so not the sort to do that, feminist lesbian fringe theatre march going sort that she is... and yet when i was pg (one fo the times, they all blend intoone for me) she commented in a changing room 'oh look you do the same as me, carry all your pg extra weight on your backside, look at it!'

yeah, cheers mum.

thank goodness for JLo i say, and the ability to revel in ones sizeable behind!!