Winter feels like 4160 Tuesdays long. The Lovely Friendly Perfumistas dream of spring fragrances. It’s thread 25.

[Judystilldreamsofhorses]

Join us for fragrant chat - everyone welcome, but lock up your credit cards!

Morning All. Have decided to invest in smelling like an organ loft this autumn. I can do delayed gratification sometimes...

Good to have an opportunity to contribute to 4160Ts work during these strange times and to have something to look forward to... felt a bit indulgent, but am living an otherwise fairly spartan existence, and I lurrrve churchy amber fragrances. If you need a perfume chat fix the Wafts are on You Tube.

Can I ask some advice???

A voluntary group I run which is a satellite of larger group has a paid role on offer for a time.

It's not loads but its the job I've been doing for 2 years in a voluntary capacity.

Except its clear they dont want to offer it to me.

I'm gutted. Absolutely gutted. I started this group from nothing.

Aibu to feel this way?
If I'm not good enough to pay I'm not good enough to volunteer surely...?

Sorry to hear this Yoikes , sounds very upsetting.

Could it possibly be that they:

1. need to run an open competition and are playing it cool as they can't encourage you over other candidates?

2. value you hugely as a volunteer and are worried they'd lose you at the end of the contract period as they think it would be tough to step down to unpaid work?

3. see you as a community leader, intrinsically motivated by care, compassion and the fostering of community spirit, and are therefore just not seeing you in an employee 'frame'?

I honestly don't know.
It feels really shitty whatever the reason:(

I'm very tempted by the waft but...a bad time to be spending money.

Sotd avon mystique amber

Sorry yoikes that sounds shitty.
How sure are you that you wouldn't be offered the job? Is there anyone there you can talk to about it, and try to understand their reasoning? Is it something as simple as, if they gave you the paid role, they'd lose you as a volunteer?

I've put my name forward...

The silence has been deafening :(

No idea where to go from here tbh

Yoikes that would infuriate me. i would have to just ask outright.

SOTD Not a pp for a change lol the real deal and one i always turn to for comfort
Acqua di Parma Iris Nobile

i salute thee for thine comforting excellence

Thank you.
I'm trying to figure out if I'm being a dick or not

You could always try the Mumsnet 'did you mean to be so rude' approach
(did you mean to exclude me from this process?)

I like that!!

@Yoikes i'm afraid I can't offer any sensible advice,as I'm just too tired but all I can say - this would really upset and puzzle me too. I think you need to ask why. At least that gives you a starting point on solving this conundrum.
Sotd is Diorissimo.

That is upsetting yoikes , you’ve got good advice above - do take it up with them rather than stewing. Is it possible they have put this on hold in current circumstances?

I am wearing ‘Gentle fluidity silver’, but will wait til my calendar day on 10/4 for the review

Its actually because of the current situation that they need more capacity.

Feeling really very hurt and angry.

Oh well.

I've decided to wait and see what happens...

If they hire someone else (I'm pretty sure they have someone in mind...) I'll resign.

I'll still volunteer if they want me but the paid member of staff can do the grunt work!

I think you should ask. Bluntly. I suspect that even if you don’t get a straight answer, their response will tell you what you need to know. Does that make sense?

SOTE Escentric 04. After a day of mucky gardening I have had a bath and put on a dress and earrings to cook tea. What a lovely sunny day.

I think I've remembered where you volunteer ( you mentioned it previously, I'm not a stalker!) I reckon they don't want to lose you as a volunteer, and when you applied they panicked a bit and didn't know what to say, hence the silence.
I agree with Pears, teta & Kali though. Ask them and watch their reaction as much as listening to their words. Good luck.

yoikes, I can understand how you feel -- I'd be awfully hurt too.

Do you think it's because they were counting on you continuing to volunteer, and adding this extra capacity in the form of an extra person?? I just wonder if it's not that they don't appreciate you, but that they are taking you for granted...

SOTD is Pearl by Sage Machado. Finding both of the Sage Machado perfume oils that I have very comforting and weirdly well suited to the dry spring weather we're having (it's odd because Onyx definitely struck me as a winter scent, and Pearl more as a summer one).

I've gone off my perfume a bit. Can't be bothered as I never see any other grown ups, and the children don't appreciate it at all!

Is Mona di Orio Vanille a safe blind buy? Or should I try it first?

Could be.
But isn't "being underappreciated" and "taken for granted" the same thing?

yoikes, I think Mother might have it right. And no, being “underappreciated” and “taken for granted” are not the same. They could be taking you for granted because they think you will carry on volunteering for free whatever happens, knowing that you enjoy the work and get a lot out of it. They may well appreciate what you do, or may not, especially if you just quietly get on with it.

I think you should ask them what is happening, and for some feedback on your interview. I’m not surprised you’re upset. 💐

SOTD was vintage Mitsouko, a very wearable rich oak moss. I don’t get this out often, but really enjoy it when I do.

MrsP thanks for reminding me about the Wafts in the Loft crowdfunder. I have signed up for a small bottle of the Parfum. I love incense/parchment/dusty smells! (Just guessing the smells!). I enjoyed your Eat More Flowers review. This is a favourite of mine - I love the slightly overblown flower shop smell.💕

Eat More Flower (4160Tuesdays) sounds beautiful MrsP lovely review.

SOTD Byredo Bibliotheque. 💐 for yoikes.

Lovely reviews :)