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Les Parisiennes de Mamansnet: Be More Aunt Larry

993 replies

botemp · 30/10/2019 09:38

Lovers of Parisian style and fashion with a conscious mindset and lots of chatter in between.


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botemp · 19/11/2019 16:22

Sorry, I wasn't suggesting it wasn't in the news, or that the rest of the UK remained in ignorance but my general impression has been of people around my age who grew up in the UK that it's a very different interpretation of what happened than reported elsewhere, a lot of the focus also seems to be much more on the IRA actions and the overspill outside NI. In contrast Americans my age, especially those with Irish heritage, have another alternate interpretation of it all together.

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Floisme · 19/11/2019 17:59

Yes I'm sure reporting was very different outside the UK.

XingMing · 19/11/2019 21:50

When I first went to the USA in 1980, newly married etc, we went to see a band in a bar. Hearing my English accent, I was asked where I stood on the issue of NI, and I said along the lines of leave them to it. The UK army were there to keep the peace and stifle conflict and why should English boys be dying in the crossfire. Nobody seemed to have said that to these Americans before. They really believed we wanted to dominate Ireland, and 30 years later, I still think my view is about right. We did not want to be there policing. Several very close friends were in the army in bomb disposal squads; they put on the armour and walked out to defuse huge bombs that would have collapsed whole buildings had they gone off. Usually, they had no idea which was the right wire to cut. They were young men, with wives and small children.

XingMing · 19/11/2019 21:53

They have a chest of medals for their work, at least the ones who lived do.

Floisme · 20/11/2019 07:17

I don't think you can pretend 800 years of history didn't happen though, or partition a country and just walk away from the fallout. (Hasn't worked too well in the Middle East either.) Or ship in a load of young men, some of them teenagers, and expect them to keep a lid on it all. It was a god-awful mess and how Tony Blair even managed to get those guys in the same room was quite remarkable really.
I'm sorry about your friends - even when you survive that it must leave terrible scars Flowers.

XingMing · 20/11/2019 09:44

Your certainly cannot wipe out history, and it is a terrible one from every aspect. So many wrongs, dished out without any regard for the deepening hatreds. And much of it in the name of religion...

As you say Flo, the Good Friday agreement was UK politics' finest hour and best achievement of the last 25 years, and it's vital that it's not hollowed out.

ToEllewithIt · 20/11/2019 12:23

Yes the troubles have definitely being somewhat worryingly romanticised in the US. I’m not sure that they are necessarily well understood in Europe either certainly not if Mc Donald’s recently ill-advised ice cream advert in Portugal is anything to go by…. www.theguardian.com/business/2019/oct/31/mcdonalds-portugal-apologises-for-sundae-bloody-sundae-ads

As for the UK army being “there” well it was the UK’s own soil. I don’t really see it as being a conflict of religion either; it’s one of national identity. The idea that either side understood, or was fighting over, the likes of transubstantiation doesn’t fly with me. Peace has been so hard won and such a massive result that I’m devastated that it’s being threatened so lightly. I do think that it paves the way toward reunification, but that’s the work of decades.

Looking at the fashion in Derry girls it’s so apparent how much of it feels current thanks to the 90s revival. The mom jeans, chokers, pinafores, colourful ski jackets.

botemp · 20/11/2019 13:17

As much as the American interpretation seems heavily diluted by the vast ocean between them, they do seem to understand better than other countries that it's not chiefly a religious conflict, merely the tinder that sets it alight, and that national identity is key.

Potentially because Americans have always been traditionally encouraged to take pride in their ethnic roots and maintain communities around that and, in turn, know what it's like to be treated as second rate citizens for that identity as a result.

On the other hand, I have always felt presenting the conflict as religious was a purposeful move of propaganda that's widely accepted in Europe as it easily glances over the UK's long and troublesome colonial conduct, a template of many former European colonolial powers, and removes scrutiny to see the conflict in that tradition. As an ex colony, it's easy to see why the US views it from the perspective of the formerly oppressed.

As admirable the achievement of the Blair and Clinton administrations alongside the vested local parties was in realising the GFA, the real achievement has been in maintaining that against all odds. I remember strongly that it was celebrated with a great amount of caution for good reason. It pains me to see how the UK govts under TM and BJ have been taunting something so fragile in favour of its own national identity politics in recent years and the violence that has already resurged from it. I hope for a better outlook following your next GE, but I'm not optimistic.

The recent documentary series on the BBC, The Troubles: A Secret History, was excellent on this subject, would definitely recommend watching it.

And on a lighter note, I just need baggy dungarees worn with one side down and a cropped t-shirt underneath to be in fashion in Derry Girls for my tween 90s revival to feel complete.

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XingMing · 20/11/2019 21:29

I need you all, big time. Nearly the 12 months into no new purchase, I am bored to sobs, and need a kick into new. Any ideas? The basics are there, but I need a quick flash up. Please help. This has come out of nowhere, so 11 months must be crisis point.

Floisme · 21/11/2019 07:28

Ooh so not basic or useful? Excellent! Any budget?
It sounds like what you need is a sparkly jumper Wink I'm sure bo can source.
Or a bit of velvet? I got a catalogue the other day from a company I'd never heard of who seemed to do some proper, non-shiny velvet, although obviously I was only going from photos. I've forgotten the name now but I'll check.
Shoes or boots? If you go for something really modern they'd zing up everything else.

Redandblue11 · 21/11/2019 08:56

If I last half the amount that you do Xing with no new purchase I will be truly chuffed with myself!!!
What good work!
Let me think ...

XingMing · 21/11/2019 09:11

Thank you Flo! Important questions. I really don't have much call for anything truly dressy, or waterproof, or neutral.

Thanks to Yoox, I have a lots of snazzy Italian trainers from last year and this. Most recently acquired in black/pewter and navy/silver, at High Street prices, plus a loud black velvet pair of low calf boots with a white sole that nearly reduced DS to sobs of despair. All beautifully made and as comfortable as slippers, if not as hard-wearing as my life really requires. As they are fairly inexpensive, I thrash 'em cheerfully. Can't manage high heels, and I really don't need jackets or outerwear or bags.

A warm everyday dress is a possibility, or a silk shirt. Or maybe some replacement thermals to make what I have warmer! Probably don't need a sparkly sweater: the one bought years ago is good enough for its rare outings, and while I love the look and feel, velvet makes me look huge!

I suspect this is an existential shift; a loss of mojo that requires thought and acceptance of ageing rather than anything that can be bought. Despite the exercise classes and the dog-walking, the ravages of time seem to have accelerated suddenly with the onset of cold wet weather and reduced daylight hours.

quirkychick · 21/11/2019 09:53

Xing, I think we all feel worse in the cold, wet weather and reduced daylight. Not helped this year by it feeling like it had gone from mild, wet autumn to cold dark winter in one fell swoop with the clocks changing. I've been I my winter clothes so early this year, I know I'm going to be so fed up with them by spring!

Would some kind of accessory help to just change things up a bit? Hat, scarf, gloves or a new piece of jewellery, lipstick?

Back to NI, I think Elle has it with the sense of identity. I know we looked at NI at university for Sociology (this was late 80s/early 90s) and part of the issue was that the Protestants, many of whom were of Scottish descent, saw themselves as British, whereas the Catholics saw themselves as Irish. Whether this is still true now, I don't know.

banivani · 21/11/2019 09:59

Late!
th
Flo, I believe we've agreed that the Parisienne way is to make a garment your own in some way. Like folding the sleeves or tying something. Yours is not wearing the belt. "Oh it comes with a belt but I wear it unbelted of course." As in "I found this delightful little footstool in the souk in Marrakesh but I turned it upside down and use it as a bedside tray."

If you need the belt for trench-digging purposes or whatever then practicality before fashion.

We don't want to be getting into Irish politics here! ;) It's only in my adult years I've fully come to understand how enormously destructive British colonialism was to Ireland. In my younger days I might say "but that was in the paaaaaast" (this was made easier by not growing up in Ireland, cushioned by the Swedish unearned smugness of having been a country at peace for 100+ years). Now I am amazed that a) anyone left after the Famine was capable of anything but depression (talk about resilience) and that following that b) any sort of country was able to be constructed out of the terrible conflicts that followed the struggle for independence. On Mumsnet I've been astonished and infuriated to read how some in the UK don't seem to accept NI as part of the fecking country and deserving of UK government care and forethought.

My bloody Cos trousers that I got for 4 euro really are too big. I don't think I can carry them off as a nod to Oxbridge "bags".

XingMing · 21/11/2019 11:55

Having been part of close-knit military circles (service brat) all my life, my lens on NI was more sympathetic with the occupying forces who tried bravely to keep the peace, and my only visit to Ireland was to Belfast when it was in lockdown. Quirky's reference to the sociology course's take on the respective tribal loyalties, which extends to Glasgow with the Celtic/Rangers schism, rings true. The GFA was and remains an awesome feat of diplomacy and pragmatism.

And quirky is probably spot on about weather and mood. It's chucking it down here! A red coat helps a bit.

ToEllewithIt · 21/11/2019 13:17

Would jewellery work? A lovely non-sparkly sweater? A jewel coloured silk shirt would be gorgeous on you.

In the meantime, I need one of these: www.catbirdnyc.com/croissant-lamp.html?source=pepperjam&publisherId=73861&clickId=2899022308

Les Parisiennes de Mamansnet: Be More Aunt Larry
Floisme · 21/11/2019 13:39

I'm a bit of an old hippy at heart (although I don't dress like one) but I also know how a lot of young, working class guys - often boys - signed up for the army in the 80s because the old industries were disappearing and well, 3 million unemployed; and how they then found themselves thrust into a situation they were totally unequipped to deal with. So that tempers a lot of my views.

Xing would something as simple a turtle neck jumper do the trick? Our H&M is rammed with them.

That's a shame about the Cos trousers bani - any chance of alterations?

banivani · 21/11/2019 13:59

Ah sure I sewed them in a bit myself but they're still loose - any more and I have to do something about the back pockets because they'd be meeting each other. And that's a bit too much for me to take on I think. Might try removing them altogether and going without if I decide to take them in at the waist some more.

botemp · 21/11/2019 14:07

Ooh, that croissant lamp has been doing the internet rounds for a few years now as the ideal Christmas gift for a foodie. Merci used to sell it looks to be sold out now. They also did other breads, including a rather pricey baguette. Thing is as much as I like the croissant, it makes me want to have one anytime I see it, which is not conducive to having it in the home and seeing it all the time...

Les Parisiennes de Mamansnet: Be More Aunt Larry
OP posts:
XingMing · 21/11/2019 16:02

Thanks for cheering me up, Parisiennes! Feeling better now I don't have to go out in the rain again today.

I have a yen for a nice silk shirt if one should show its face, in a viridian green perhaps, or a good sapphire blue, both of which colours would be new for me but within spectrum. A turtle neck would hide the crepey turkey neck and the wrinkled bits so maybe worth a try, just to see if the dreaded matronly bosom shelf can be finessed, with a shirt/blouse/sweater over the top...

Love the bread lamps....

Floisme · 22/11/2019 08:17

Ageing is relentless isn't it! You've just adjusted to one change when another one comes along and bites you. I had a jolt when I saw my hands on that Barbour pic. Yeah I know - funny angle and they were too close to the camera blah blah. But still WTF and when did that happen?

I think Arket have got a green silk shirt although it may be too dark. I'll check.

Floisme · 22/11/2019 08:20

And although I suggested a turtle neck, I look shit in them. They draw the eye straight to my jowls.

Redandblue11 · 22/11/2019 12:02

I am in a quanandrum... I went back to clarins and they refunded all the money I returned the two products I bought a couple of months ago after rash.
Anyhow, as had time I went into charity shop and tried this sheepskin vintage coat made in England. I don’t need one, but I always loved the idea of one. Is this just a romantic idea on my head or is this potentially going to get used a fair amount?
£28, good condition but I would be tempted to take it to specialist dry cleaners.

Les Parisiennes de Mamansnet: Be More Aunt Larry
Les Parisiennes de Mamansnet: Be More Aunt Larry
Les Parisiennes de Mamansnet: Be More Aunt Larry
banivani · 22/11/2019 12:34

Red - it might be worth it. They are bloody warm. Have a friend who raved about hers I remember. 28 pounds is a great price.

botemp · 22/11/2019 12:53

It's cheap but rather non descript and neither exceptionally flattering or very unflattering, so buy it if you want a good warm coat (especially when windy and cold) at a bargainous price for years but if you've been looking out for THE shearling coat for a long time than it doesn't sound like this is it. I'd say, take head with my experience that holding out for THE one can take bloody forever and an interim can do the job in the meantime so long as it doesn't feel like settling too much, and low prices are definitely something that can influence that adversely but this is hardly the case that buying this stops you from buying THE one if you stumble across that tomorrow.

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