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Original poster

I want to dress upper middle class

387 replies

ConfusedWife1234 · 30/12/2018 09:06

I actually am upper middle class, live in an upper middle class neighborhood and because of this I would like to dress more upper middle class.

A woman I know told me she thought I was desperately poor first time we met... and I am really not happy with the way I dress.

Can you help me?

OP posts:
Greenglassteacup · 01/01/2019 09:05

Timberlands are not even vaguely posh

BikeRunSki · 01/01/2019 09:13

I wouldn’t say that Timberlands were pigs - far from it - but my very well to do German friend loves them. Posh Timberlands might be a German thing.

Banjax · 01/01/2019 09:14

I can't remember OP. Blonde highlights she had, it just took all the redness outnif her skin. A hairdresser will advise you.

Banjax · 01/01/2019 09:16

Tiierras talkingnseaboutmnsense Timberlands, they're really tacky...especially in pink!!!

Igneococcus · 01/01/2019 09:20

confusedwife it all sounds so "old" (for want of a better word). You are the same age as my niece, who I think dresses very well, quite formally for her work (international finance sector, so quite a lot of suits and tailored clothes and blouses) but I don't think she'd wear a Lodenmantel, not for another 20 years at least, if ever. How old are these people you are trying to emulate? Are they your age?

I don't think anything will ever look good on you unless you actually like it and feel comfortable in it.

TeachesOfPeaches · 01/01/2019 09:26

Do you have the high heeled timberlands OP? J-Lo wears them so they are extremely posh Grin

Mominatrix · 01/01/2019 09:43

OP - do be careful about much of the advice given here. British UMC style is definitely not the same as German UMC style.

I have several UMC German friends (think bergermeister Bavarian types). Their style is far smarter and more expensive than their British counterparts. They are always well groomed, well dressed, and look expensive. No glaring labels, but the big labels are present subtlety. Loro Piana for men, Hermes bags on the women with discreet Van Cleef & Arpel jewellery. Well tailored clothing in excellent fabrics - think Phoebe Philo for Celine style. Hair well cut and styled. Older UMC tend towards a style I can only describe as posh hunting (like the Beretta Clothing catalogue).

Definitely NOT Boden, Jules, and the like.

beanaseireann · 01/01/2019 09:53

Ask Carole Middleton.
She was able to transcend from a council estate to dining with the Queen in Her various palaces.
She always dresses very well.

Tiredismymiddlename85 · 01/01/2019 10:12

@selkiesolstice Joules and Seasalt - yummy mummy buying quality clothing 😂 I love both shops!!

tierraJ · 01/01/2019 10:20

I know Timberlands are tacky to some people but I like them.

And they are comfortable walking boots.

In my defence I'm working class & not pretending to be anything else.

tierraJ · 01/01/2019 10:21

I have pink trainers too!!

tierraJ · 01/01/2019 10:24

What I really think is that OP is young, only 30, why do you want to wear frumpy typically umc clothes anyway?

Especially when you have the money to buy fashionable clothes.

Sod the pearls & no make up look!! It's boring.

Deathraystare · 01/01/2019 11:15

As a lot of posters have pointed out, they do not necessarily dress 'nicely'. They seem to live in Barbours. In fact one woman I knew who came in to wait for my brother and some other friends told everyone "One must make an effort to dress up sometimes" They were going to the theatre. Apparently a not particularly clean gilet sufficed....

Mydogisforlife · 01/01/2019 11:34

If the OP had mentioned in her first post that she's in Germany, we might not have so many mentions of scruffy UK upper class people.

katekat383 · 01/01/2019 12:57

The German style being lauded here sounds dull and very middle aged.

diddl · 01/01/2019 13:08

I think being comfortable in what you wear is more important than trying to emulate a certain look.

Can't your husband help-or any female relatives of his?

They must know what you are "supposed" to wear.

HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 01/01/2019 13:24

It doesn’t matter if it’s dull or middle aged (which is subjective anyway - I’m sure the young glamourous women of that set look great in those clothes because it suits them, their lifestyle and their standing - plus many middle aged and elderly women are very glamorous and put together even if they don’t dress in a trendy or ‘young’ way), it is how people dress in that set and it is the set which the OP belongs to and would like to fit into.

OP, I think you just need to focus on a small capsule of good quality clothing and then enlist your husband in teaching you how to properly maintain them so they always look pristine.

Most of all don’t be afraid of the clothes. They are just a uniform, nothing more.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 01/01/2019 13:50

Is there no German Mumsnet? Or just get a catalogue aimed at your desired demographic and see what they wear in it. UMC in the UK are dressed very differently to UMC in continental Europe (as it's been said numerous times).

BigusBumus · 01/01/2019 14:00

Around here (rural, affluent, shooting area) most UMC women seem to wear Fairfax and Favour boots, mid-blue jeans, a nice shirt tucked in, a woven leather belt and a navy Schoffel gilet. Its a bit of a uniform.

LuluBellaBlue · 01/01/2019 14:05

How about looking into having your colours done and often they also suggest styles and shapes to suit you?
So rather than focusing on trying to look a specific class focus on looking your very best you!
I did my own colour charts online and have since found in dressing and buying a lot better clothes for my skin tone.

TheSpottedZebra · 01/01/2019 14:20

OP, you'very posted almost this exact thread before, haven't you? Possibly for more than a year.

Asking us how to look posh, then reassuring us that you are actually posh yourself. Then the big reveal that you're in Germany, with the resulting waffle about 'officer class'.

You're clearly not getting the responses that you want, or for some reason you're just going over and over an issue, in a way that's not helping you.

Original poster
ConfusedWife1234 · 01/01/2019 14:33

@thespottedZebra To be honest I had a thread in which I mentioned class before. It was not at all about dressing.
In this thread I asked for advice because a man had called me by my first name and kissed me against my will. Germans typically do not call people they hardly know by their first name but I did not know that when I started the thread. Then I was asked about my social background and I answered officer class. Then people made fun of me, asked me to define it, which I did because I was asked. Then people implied I did not want to be called by my first name because I felt to posh for it... which is not true. I think some people are being very reverse classist and do not even notice.

OP posts:
Original poster
ConfusedWife1234 · 01/01/2019 14:34

*the English seem to be very comfortable with being called by their first name by people they do not know well but I did not know this

OP posts:
Mydogisforlife · 01/01/2019 14:41

A few of us have suggested getting your colours done, OP. From what you've written you have beautiful colouring yourself (shame you dye your hair brown from your natural red) but it maybe isn't typical where you live, so what suits other women won't necessarily suit you.

Knowing what suits you would save you from making expensive mistakes and help you feel better. Your lack of confidence and self-esteem is a big problem but looking your best will help a bit.