Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

I want to dress upper middle class

387 replies

ConfusedWife1234 · 30/12/2018 09:06

I actually am upper middle class, live in an upper middle class neighborhood and because of this I would like to dress more upper middle class.

A woman I know told me she thought I was desperately poor first time we met... and I am really not happy with the way I dress.

Can you help me?

OP posts:
ConfusedWife1234 · 31/12/2018 18:25

My dh gets support, do not worry Smile.

I do have casual outfits, basically basic dresses, basic skirts, corduroys, pullover, all weather jackets actually blush I bought lots of polyester stuff at Jack Wolfskin (caps, pullovers and so on... I know it is not considered smart dressing, but I like the warmth that provides while being easy to care for)... I know my allweather Jacket looks just horrible... but find it hard to find a garment with the same qualities...

...and then I have ballgowns, stolad, diadems, gloves and so on..

...and skirts (which I bought before I was a mother, when I used to work)

What I really do not have is something to wear when a) I am not outdoors and b) there is no celebration....

Like just in everyday life indoors so to speak.

...

OP posts:
TodoDoingDone · 31/12/2018 18:27

I agree on smart trousers without polyester are hard to find. Warm trousers with no polyester are even harder. Try cos, Massimo dutti. Or use the obermaterial filter in Zalando - I find it's good!

haverhill · 31/12/2018 18:35

The very poshest women I know are make-free, rosy cheeked, slightly dishevelled types who are genuinely too busy with the animals to give a thought to their appearance.

haverhill · 31/12/2018 18:35

make-up free

HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 31/12/2018 18:39

Do you know how to build a capsule wardrobe? If I was doing it from scratch, I’d start with this:

Three pairs of trousers - for example, one pair of dark indigo jeans, one pair of plaid or plain trousers, one pair of corduroys or chinos.

Three shirts that each go with each of the trousers. Two patterned, one plain, or whatever. But they must all coordinate with each other.

Two jumpers that go with each of the trousers and each of the shirts.

Two skirts. Again, they need to go with everything above.

Two other tops, for example one black or navy turtleneck, one other colour v neck - again, chosen in colours that match all of the above.

Two or three dresses, again keeping everything coordinated.

One or two blazers. One in tweed, i’d suggest, and one black or navy one that can be dressed up or down for casual/smart wear.

A couple of pairs of flat shoes, a couple of pairs of heeled shoes. One pair of smart shoes. Again pick within a narrow range of colours so they all go with everything.

A few pairs of simple stud earrings. A very small and subtle necklace and pendant. A watch that echoes colour of the overall wardrobe.

That’s all you need. You will be able to get loads of different outfits from that.

HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 31/12/2018 18:43

Comment on polyester was mainly in relation to tops - and obviously it’s different if it’s for going out or only for occasional use. For trousers I don’t think it matters so much. I’ve never actually looked at the composition of any of my trousers, I just buy by look or ‘feel’ of the fabric.

tierraJ · 31/12/2018 18:54

OP when you're indoors mostly just wear smart skinny jeans & tops depending on how warm or cold it is.
I usually wear a T-shirt under a fitted jumper at this time of year.

But as I said I'm working class so you may not wish to follow my advice!!

tierraJ · 31/12/2018 18:55

Or you could invest in loungewear - Next have some nice bottoms tops & hoodies designed especially for relaxing in.

tierraJ · 31/12/2018 18:57

If I could afford it I would wear loungewear - I hate wearing pjs in the day but jeans all the time can get uncomfortable indoors

Banjax · 31/12/2018 21:07

OP, If you have red hair and a florid complexion, you may find that going blonde works well - my sister did this and her skin suddenyl looked porcelain. try it.

Im dark dark auburn, and pale as anything, could never go darker, I would looked washed out. have a think about that. Plus where I am....the blonde ones are everywhere ..... I look out of place with my very dark hair

brownjumper · 31/12/2018 21:15

Many people have given you advice, why don't you post a photo of your regular outfit , chop your head off for anonymity.

greenlynx · 31/12/2018 21:28

My problem is that they often have a different lifestyle (less active and outdoorsy) and look different than I do.
This also might be the cause why you were seeing as lower class.
I agree with everyone that you need to have polished but natural look. Your clothes should be comfortable because it’s tailored and made from expensive natural fabric. And it should be ironed ( not by you).
You said that your nails won’t survive, it’s the difference. If you are upper class your nails will survive, you will employ other people for doing nail destroying activities.

LardLizard · 31/12/2018 21:41

Just dress with holes dirty and dog hairs

Borridge · 01/01/2019 06:33

Go to a horse riding event or an expensive neighborhood near you and see what others wear. The only thing that you should be copying from a UK UMC person is probably the Barbour jacket. Jack wolfskin is definitely not UMC in Germany.

ConfusedWife1234 · 01/01/2019 07:37

Yeah I know Jack Wolfskin is not UMC and als very ugly... and associated with pensioners walking their dogs... I use it for walking the dogs btw... but... it has lots of qualities I admire (btw is this correct English? It sounds a bit like talking about a person now, can a coat have qualities you admire or can only a friend?)... it has lots of qualities I admire... like being durable... and if one of the dogs jump at you you just need a wet cloth to remove any stain... also it was made under fair conditions which is something I appreciate (however I do not buy only fair trade clothing because of the very limited choices).
Loden is an alternative to Jack Wolfskin coats. I do have a Loden coat in ivy green, but I wonder if this is any better... my feel is that it looks UMC but also like a person who is not experienced in the things of the world or cares about fashion... and this is not a look I want to have.... and they tend to smell.
I also have Jack Wolfskin shoes, which are not sold any more but they look a bit like this www.jack-wolfskin.de/altiplano-prime-texapore-mid-w/4022342-6032030.html
The other shoes I regularly wear look like this www.panamajack.de/damen/schuhmode/felia-igloo-b4
I really do think it looks a bit to male and not refined.... but again I appreciate the quality and comfort and I do need shoes in which I can walk because I walk a lot.

OP posts:
user1457017537 · 01/01/2019 07:42

They are seriously ugly boots do you live on a mountain

ConfusedWife1234 · 01/01/2019 07:45

Oh, tailored clothing costs much more than I want to spend.

@Banjax Blond? Which shade of blond did she choose?

OP posts:
ConfusedWife1234 · 01/01/2019 07:53

@user I live in a rural neighbourhood with some unfortified streets as soon as you leave the Main Street. I do a lot of walking dirt tracks (I am a bit weird).

@tierraJ Never did I say I did not want advice from working class person. I am sorry if you understood it like this... what I wanted to say is that I wanted to dress for a certain purpose (fitting in in a UMC neighbourhood).
I am not a big fan of skinny jeans because my legs are to skinny but I agree they look great on person who have good legs.

OP posts:
tierraJ · 01/01/2019 08:14

Ok. I go to places socially & work at a place where there is a mixture of social classes & I manage to fit in.

My style is smart, feminine, well groomed even when casual.

You don't have to wear skinny jeans for example slim fit are also in fashion.

Walking boots are actually in fashion too (as you go out walking a lot) at present but try some that are more feminine in style. I'd like Timberlands but can't afford them so have gone for a pair of Landrovers from Deichmann (you should have Deichmann in Germany). I like the very pale pink ones!! One of my umc friends who travels a lot actually has pale pink Timberlands.

As for your coat, it's normal to have a waterproof coat, mine is a navy waterproof parka from Regatta, it's smart clean & ok to wear into a coffee shop or restaurant as well as out for walks.

Just make sure your coat is clean tidy & smells nice basically.

As you have naturally red hair & pale skin I would go to a good hairdresser & ask their advice on colour. Personally I like ginger but you could try auburn or blonde.

ConfusedWife1234 · 01/01/2019 08:27

I do a lot of wearing walking boots. I used to wear Timberlands... but then... thishsppened ten years ago... I bought a pair that was real poor quality and after that a pair that made my feet itch. I think I was somehow allergic. After that I started wearing Panama Jack.

But Timberlands really look better, don’t they? Other have told me that I should give them a second chance because the quality is typically good.

OP posts:
HeronLanyon · 01/01/2019 08:38

Pale pink timberlands and umc. I am struggling to keep these two in one image. Ppts surely are the definition of not umc ?? Blimey if we are all arguing debating this whole issue then poor op trying to work it out !
Agree with all pps advocating comfort and simplicity and no obvious brands and little/no makeup and less overthinking and perhaps something to help with what reads as low self-esteem. Apols op if I have that wrong. Good luck. I too need to go clothes shopping, which I hate. Sad

Mydogisforlife · 01/01/2019 08:38

I'd happily wear the second pair of boots but I walk my dog a lot too and don't live in a city.
You live among people who don't walk further than house to car, like some posters on here, I suspect.

GinIsIn · 01/01/2019 08:57

Timberlands are not remotely UMC - I think you just need to stop all this sillliness about class and wear things that fit you properly.

Fairylea · 01/01/2019 09:02

We have crack dealers living along our road who wear timberlands. Seriously. (Yes they’ve been reported to the police a thousand times- for the crack dealing, not the timberlands).

diddl · 01/01/2019 09:03

"But Timberlands really look better, don’t they?"

Both look about the same to me tbh-especially the basic "yellow" walking boot style.