Haircut disaster. Gutted

[FatBallsAndSunflowerSeeds]

I went in with lots of pictures, told her I wanted a long pixie that I could push over my ears, like Emma Willis. She seemed to understand and even said she would do it a bit longer than my photos as it would feel too short for me otherwise (my hair was past my shoulders).

I've ended up with it cut over my ears which I didn't want, and really short at the back. I hate it so much. I look more like Bruce Willis than Emma. I told her it is too short and she said it had to be short over my ears or it would be too bulky (so why didn't she say so before she cut it?) and I should go back in a few days if I still don't like it. Why? Is she going to glue it back on?

Why do hairdressers do this? I have a thin scarf tied round my head at the moment. Is there anything else I can do to disguise it or make it grow quicker

I’ve decided that my usual tactic of showing photos doesn’t work - the hairdresser seems to see something completely different to me. So next time I think I’ll post the photo I want on MN and ask for knowledgeable people to tell me what to ask for in hairdresser speak (which I am clearly not proficient in).

So should I get matte wax or putty to improve the texture then? I hate how fluffy it is. I used to use a product called Funky Chunky when I had short hair and it was brilliant but it's been discontinued.

unimaginative - I suspect that the problem isn't you not describing things well enough, but the hairdresser really not listening. As with OP! I am not sure this is so much a money thing as an attitude thing.

I have had disappointing haircuts for decades, from cheap and expensive places. I started to suspect that part of the problem was that even the big name salons tended to be quite conservative and to do the same cuts over and over, resulting in quite a small repertoire of skills. I recently got really cheesed off with it and decided to up my game. So I put a shout out on Facebook, asking my friends where they would recommend for an edgier style. One salon kept coming up over and over, so I decided to check it out. The stylist and colourist sat down with me for 10 minutes and discussed options, and they REALLY listened. And, for the first time, I got the haircut I actually wanted! I suspect it was a combination of going somewhere with the right skills (the stylist takes an entire hour on the cut, she's so careful) and the right attitude.

I bumped into the colourist at the station 2 months later, and he came over and gave me a massive hug and asked if I still liked it!

fatballs - clay is brilliant. It actually nurtures your hair instead of damaging it. I use the Toni and Guy styling clay for men.

Try sea salt/texturising spray OP. Honestly, it’ll really help with the fluffiness.

Then you can add wax etc for additional texture as you like.

@pigmcpigface I have been wondering if it’s an attitude thing. It was always easier to get hairdressers to give me the edgier style I wanted when I was younger. But now I’m nearing 40 so many of them seem determined to give me a more conservative (or outright frumpy) hairstyle no matter what photo I show them/how I ask.

I’m wondering if I need to find a slightly older female hairdresser who has an edgy haircut herself so that she’ll understand that you don’t suddenly decide to enter frumpsville when you turn 35. And you certainly do not want a mullety haircut.

You've got beautifully thick hair misses point entirely

If you want textured, can't recommend this enough - Bed Head Hard to Get Texturising Paste. I have nightmares that they might discontinue it. You only need a tiny amount to give lift, body or texture.

Here

unimaginative - That's exactly the problem I had. I found a hipster salon and my advancing age didn't seem to matter so much to them, even though they were all 20-somethings. "We don't want you to look mumsy, now, do we?" was the tone of the whole thing!

Roussette thank you, I have ordered some of that from Prime- just £7.50!

I definitely feel mumsy and frumpy.

Ooooh...that is a good price! Warm it in your hands first, it's good stuff.

When I say warm it in your hands, I don't mean the whole tub! Just a scrape and rub your hands together!

wish there was an edit function on here

Hehe, I knew what you meant

As others have already said, what you wanted isn't a pixie cut - I blame Pinterest! Anything shoulder length or above is called short and above chin length they call pixie. If it's any consolation it probably doesn't look anywhere near as bad as you think and once you've washed and dried it a couple of times yourself, you can probably find a way of styling it to make yourself feel better. I'm mid 40s with a pixie cut - the shorter the better for me, but everyone is different. I always say that might be middle aged but I don't want to look it.

I did want it above chin length though. But no I will not use the word 'pixie' again, even if preceded by 'long'! How would you describe Emma Willis's hair, or the styles I posted above?

But there really is no way she could have misunderstood what I wanted,
we had quite a long discussion beforehand.

Plenty of good advice here, just wanted to sympathise OP. I'm about same age and recently got a haircut NOTHING like the many many pictures I discussed with my hairdresser. Is so very depressing, no getting away from hair and was really hoping for a chic new look but instead have what looks like two different haircuts. One st the front (which is ok) a diff one at the back which makes me want to sob.
Good luck.

I am currently rocking a bad haircut - totally my own fault, I was away in Austria and decided to have it cut; language barrier, cultural differences etc - plus my hair is madly difficult at the back (v odd hairline).

It's a bit like the photos the OP wanted, except the back just sticks out all over the place (which is inevitable with the odd hairline, and not in a funky way, just a blocky kind of weird way) and my hair is fine so it's too flat really to hold any sort of style or volume on top.

I'm going to follow the tips on this thread and buy a load of stuff to try and cope with it, but I really need to find a salon that can listen to what I want and believe what I say doesn't work - that latter is what I have struggled with. I am 50 in two weeks and I KNOW my hair I know what won't work. I have accepted that no matter what I have done to it, it looks like straight fine brown hair.

On the plus side, hair always grows (when I get a good cut, I wish it wouldn't).

It's nothing like the cut you wanted! And I hate to say this op but I'm being honest, it's a really bad cut.

It'll grow out soon and you'll laugh about it.

I think this woman who was on Masterchef has the best pixie I have seen in ages....

To be fair the Emma Willis cut is going to look hideous on most people. It looks like the horrid awkward grow out stage to me rather than a style.

How about going properly short?

Volume on top and a shorter fringe would look so much better

I think a shorter fringe would push me over the brink to be honest.

I've decided to message her to tell her how I feel feel, through the salon's Facebook page. I think I would get upset on the phone and not be able to get my points across. It wouldn't hurt if the salon owner read it too, if she tells him about it he will just get her side. I am going to attach the photos I showed her.

I'm still sad and furious and also boiling hot and itchy with this bloody scarf on my head.

Oh Im so sorry OP.
At nearly 60 I have had my share of awful haircuts and wanted to become a hermit.
Ive just been to a new salon today and gone out of my comfort zone...had a bouffy long bob before and have gone shorter and choppy but still jaw length. I was hyperventilating when the layers were cut in but actually it has taken so much weight out.
But I am fiddling with it as I'm not used to "trendy".
However I'm about to have a large gin.

I’d be bloody furious op. That is nothing like the pictures you took in. That hairdresser should be giving you your money back. However if I was you, I would ditch the hair bands (I think they rarely look good on grown women) and maybe grab some hair dye. If you can brazen it out with a bit of confidence it will probably look better than if you try to hide it.

OP you have my sympathy too, I asked my hairdresser last week to cut mine like Rosamund Pike ( its like a bob with an undercut - so you see it when you tie back your hair) what I got was a very short bob! No undercut at all. I think she thought I am too old for it ( I am 50) and so I got what she wanted ! Not happy and like you I don’t really know next steps apart from waiting 6 months for it to grow. If you have the confidence I would go for something bold colour wise and use the colour as a statement until you get it back to the length you want. Good luck x

pigmcpig - would you say where abouts you are ( County?) I am interested in a new hairdresser?!

I think the problem is that we take pics in to show hairdressers, but they're often pics of beautiful women like Emma Willis who are in the public eye and who have their hair done by very very talented, creative expensive hairdressers. Sadly, there aren't many of those people around, and the run of the mill hairdresser doesn't have the skills to deliver those sorts of cuts. They also don't have the skills to be able to say that to the client or to advise them properly if a cut just won't work on their hair.

I wanted Annette Bening's haircut recently, she's a bit older than me, but in the same bracket and we have similar small features. Took her pic to my hairdresser who took one look and said absolutely not. My hair is too thick, wiry, wavy and weird at the back to make it work. I was gutted, but trusted him.

Your cut is nothing like the pics as you know and I think all you can do is wait it out. You're always only six weeks away from a bad haircut - 6 weeks from now it will look surprisingly different.

Yes definitely message, so you can attach photos, as it's a bad cut- what was she thinking!
It can be rectified without taking much more off, and once styled, you can totally rock it as you do suit short hair.