False lashes for labour??? Trying to look somewhat normal...

[thetwocultures]

Recently saw a pic of myself in the hospital after having DS and I am

I looked like an absolute mess which I know is partially due to just giving birth but I've seen lots of new mums and pictures of them post birth and they're all somehow managing to look fresh and...not like a beaten up jellyfish.

I'm currently expecting DC2 and looking into ways to look a bit less frightening for those initial days after birth when I won't have time for anything.

I'm going to have my hair trimmed a couple of weeks before, also looking at getting my nails done to feel more put together.

On top of that I'm considering having individual false lashes that last 2-4 weeks (I think?) nothing OTT or massively long just hoping to look more defined but still natural. But I'm worried they're bad for my real eyelashes?

Once they're off/fall off do some of my eyelashes go with them?
I don't want to ruin my own lashes as it would just miss the point of trying to look ok.

I did not mean 'spiritual' in a religious sense. And I was not rude.

Have you considered lvl's it's like a perm/tint for your lashes and lasts about 8 weeks?

GoingRogue No need to be rude about it.

I looked frickin terrible after I ran a half marathon. It wasn't really about how I looked, though. Given that I'll be likely to experiencing something with similar high physical demands on my body, why would I be expecting myself to look like I hadn't just had a really intense experience? I think women should give themselves a break: surely this is one time you can relax about looking a certain way?

Is this the future? Concerns about being selfie-ready permeating everything, including childbirth?

Oh bugger off! Where in my Op or any replies did you see me put " oh I need to have a team of makeup artists and hairdresser at the ready so I can snap that selfie for Facebook as soon as I push my baby out " ??? I'm doing this for ME because I want to feel put together, it helps ME to feel better, I have NEVER shared or intend to share pics of me straight after giving birth with anyone but myself and immediate family. And I don't particularly care what they think to my appearance.

@Believeitornot yes there was a mention of other mums post birth - because I've realised its possible to do little things to look better and I want to achieve it, for MYSELF.
And I hardly asked for people's judgments, I asked for practical advice on things and tips to look and feel better.

So if all you've come to this thread for is to judge and critique my choices then you can also bugger off. You're on the wrong topic.

"To be honest I find this Hallmark attitude that ‘you should feel invincible’, 'you should feel like a warrior woman’, ‘you should be glowing with pride’ more pressurising than someone who wants to paint their toenails or have their hair done ahead of the event. Are people’s life experience really so limited that they don’t know that many women feel anything but invincible or joyful after giving birth? And that maybe focusing on an aspect of their appearance prior to labour is their way of attempting to pre-empt a loss of control be that physical control or emotional control. I suggest some people step outside their own little bubbles and have a little think about that". - @Circumlocutor

^^ THIS!!!

I gave birth to my first baby 6 weeks ago and in the days leading up to the birth I had a full body wax, mani/pedi, eyebrows threaded and lashes tinted. I didn't do it just for the birth - this is my normal routine and has been for years, so why wouldn't I maintain it before and after my baby arrives. I enjoy it, and it makes me feel good about myself. Doesn't mean I was thinking about my beauty regime in the middle of labour, or focusing on my best lighting and angles for post-birth pictures!! I felt like an emotional mess after giving birth but the fact that I had done my usual beauty maintenance prior to delivering meant that it was one less thing for me to have on my mind. At least I felt some sense of normality in that department, whilst everything else in my life had suddenly drastically changed.

In response to the OP, I used to have individual eyelash extensions all the time for about 2 years and LOVED them. I hate the faff of putting on and removing mascara (and the risk of panda eyes) and the lash extensions look amazing. You can get them as long/thick as you want so it's perfectly possible to get either a natural or false look depending on your preference. HOWEVER unfortunately during pregnancy I suddenly developed an allergy to the glue they use and my eyes puffed up like pastries and were so itchy until I went to have the lashes removed the very same day. So I did lash tinting (after a successful patch test) during pregnancy instead. Definitely get a patch test before doing anything because as previous posters have said, our bodies are often more sensitive to things during pregnancy. I just did a patch test for the lash extensions again (6 weeks postpartum) a couple of days ago and have had no reaction - hurrah! Also, the extensions didn't damage my natural lashes at all and I was wearing them constantly for 2 years.

Good luck for your delivery OP, and do whatever makes you feel happy!

I don't think people are judging choices. They're simply saying don't judge yourself so harshly to the op. It's ok to look shite after you've had a baby. Fact is you probably will whether you get false lashes or not. And that will be ok.

I don't think people are exactly judging women for their choices either. They are lamenting the fact that society has developed in such a way that women's self-esteem (even at such an important time as the birth of their child) is dependent on things like false nails and eyelash extensions. It is perfectly understandable that women do feel the need for these things - we have grown up in a world where women are judged more on their appearance than on their achievements. Nobody is immune to that kind of conditioning.

I've only got a pic of me a few hours after, because the anaesthesia failed during my section and it was all a tiny bit dramatic and frankly, I was tripping nicely on the vast quantity of morphine I was pumped full of.

I look simultaneously utterly fucking awful and wonderful in the first pic. No make up, no false anything, pale as fuck from a few litres of blood loss, and a thousand yard 'what the fuck just happened? Look

It's fine.

DeltaG I didn't say you meant it in a religious way. Why do you make assumptions instead of asking questions? It's not very scientific.

I don't think people are judging choices. They're simply saying don't judge yourself so harshly to the op.

I agree.

I didn't say you meant it in a religious way. Why do you make assumptions instead of asking questions? It's not very scientific.

• Oh dear. Fail. Ever heard of a hypothesis?

DeltaG I'm being serious not argumentative. If you asked me about my beliefs then I'd tell you, instead of you wrongly assuming. I don't understand how you're supposed to learn something if you assume instead of asking questions.

DeltaG if you want to be argumentative, your hypothesis is wrong.

Because I don't want to get into a debate about such beliefs and I doubt anyone else on here would either - this thread was about the small cosmetic things we might do before giving birth to make ourselves feel better. It has turned into castigation by some for being 'sad, brainwashed, oppressive etc.'

This is the really sad thing in my opinion. That some women are incapable of minding their own business and letting others make choices that have nothing to do with them. If a thread was started about 'slobby mummy doesn't care' or similar, I highly doubt it would be inundated with comments accusing the OP and supporters of being lazy, lacking in self-respect etc. Live and let live.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to feel nicer after labour & in photos, if it's what people want!

Glad I read this thread though, I thought a nice set of gel nails might be a nice pick me up, I had no idea they weren't allowed so thanks PP!

I don't want to be argumentative, it was you that called me rude and unscientific. Fine, my hypothesis was wrong.

@meltingmarshmallows I had shellac on my fingernails and toenails when I gave birth 6 weeks ago and nobody told me anything about it not being allowed - maybe it differs from hospital to hospital. But I had a natural delivery - I'm suppose it would need to be removed for a c-section.

DeltaG you must realise that making assumptive comments might get a corrective response from people? I'm not sure if or why you're mentioning people castigating the OP, as I've not been involved in that. All I said was that giving birth is an achievement. I planned a water home birth (first baby), nearly managed it but had to transfer to hospital for a spinal, episiotomy and forceps. I didn't feel like a failure, I was just grateful there were people there to help me (thank god for the NHS) when I needed it. I still felt my birth was an achievement, even though I needed help to complete it. To some of us, the birth of our babies is a huge achievement. All I said to you was fair enough believe what you like personally, but you can't project that onto others and expect them not to respond. If you were so invested in the OP's post about cosmetic things I don't think you would have even brought up your personal scientific beliefs in birth, which are quite rigid.

I think you're deliberately distorting points delta. No ones trying to prevent anyone doing anything. They are merely saying there's a alternative way to think about this, and the fact that so many women seem to feel they need to take special measures for birth, which was not previously at all a common discussion, might be telling us something concerning.
That observation may make people feel uncomfortable but we are allowed to make it. The defensiveness in response is quite telling imho

'The defensiveness in response is quite telling imho'

Your side seem awfully prickly too.

Quite telling imho...

I planned a medically-assisted hospital birth. I had no preconceived ideas about how it was going to go (other than that I would have an epidural) and it was what it was. Baby got stuck, was extracted with instruments. I had 3rd degree tear, then haemorrage and blood transfusion. I don't feel like a failure and neither do I feel like it was an achievement either. It just was.

You are entirely free to feel your experience was a personal achievement, just as I am entirely free to feel it was not and that it was a biological process.

All I said to you was fair enough believe what you like personally, but you can't project that onto others and expect them not to respond.

• This applies to you too.

And it's true, you were not involved in castigating.

Personally, my responses have been defensive because so many of the comments have suggested women who care about their appearance are shallow, vain, have their priorities all wrong and don't care about the health of their baby - and that's not ok, in my book. I think valid concerns about hygiene have been raised, which I've taken on board and will ask my midwife about.

But I will never believe it's right to dismiss women based on their appearance.
I'd find it equally appalling if someone came along saying they couldn't take someone seriously because they didn't wear makeup, or they were a terrible mother embarrassing their child by having grey hair, or they looked unprofessional because their nails were all bitten down.

Either you are against women being judged and character assassinated based on their appearance (and that works both ways - for those who choose to wear lots of makeup, or have boob jobs, or fake tan or whatever and those who don't) - or you're ok with it. It's not ok to dismiss people based on how they choose to present themselves to the outside world, and that's what so many posters on this thread are doing.

So find that as "telling" as you like, but I think some posters need to reconsider their own attitudes and why they are so aghast at women who choose to taken certain steps to alter their appearance. Seeing women who wear a lot of makeup or dress a certain way or have plastic surgery etc etc as less intelligent than those who don't, vain and shallow is equally as pervasive and damaging an attitude as anything being espoused by people who are suggesting they might get their lashes done before labour.

@KarlosKKrinkelbeim. No distortion from me. I didn't say people were preventing others from doing things. I said they were castigating them for their choices. You accused us of being 'oppressive' and labelled yourself as a 'defective human being' because you chose not to do these things. Is your confidence in your self at such a low level that the choices of other women make you feel 'defective'? Be happy in your choices and let others be happy in theirs.

@AccrualIntentions - excellent post.