False lashes for labour??? Trying to look somewhat normal...

[thetwocultures]

Recently saw a pic of myself in the hospital after having DS and I am

I looked like an absolute mess which I know is partially due to just giving birth but I've seen lots of new mums and pictures of them post birth and they're all somehow managing to look fresh and...not like a beaten up jellyfish.

I'm currently expecting DC2 and looking into ways to look a bit less frightening for those initial days after birth when I won't have time for anything.

I'm going to have my hair trimmed a couple of weeks before, also looking at getting my nails done to feel more put together.

On top of that I'm considering having individual false lashes that last 2-4 weeks (I think?) nothing OTT or massively long just hoping to look more defined but still natural. But I'm worried they're bad for my real eyelashes?

Once they're off/fall off do some of my eyelashes go with them?
I don't want to ruin my own lashes as it would just miss the point of trying to look ok.

Nothing to do with having wrong priorities. As I've explained when I look bad at the photos and I look ill I instantly think god I look exhausted... my next thought is the 4 day awful labour/meconium scare/the sheer exhaustion and hideousness I felt and that puts a downer on what should remind me of the happy memory of giving birth to my son.

I look at my daughters and I remember how elated I felt the minute she was born as I look radiant and smiley in the picture, the negatives don't even cross my mind.

Eldest DC was fed/dressed/clean and I had my treatments while he was at so who did it hurt? No one.

At school

How vain can you get??? Nobody will give two hoots what you look like love they'll be too busy concentrating on the actual important things like, you know, the health of you and your baby!

I can be pretty vain when I want to be. And guess what? I manage to look not too shabby whilst simultaneously looking after my health and the health of my baby.

Multi-tasking for the motherfucking win yo!

I thought I'd heard it all until now!! Fake eyelashes, makeup done and nails done for labour??? How vain can you get???
Not so much vain as misled. Societal expectations going into overdrive. Ffs, in labour and immediately after, you have a free pass to look as dog-rough as you can manage.

But what if you hate looking dog rough?

Circumlocutor if you hate looking dog rough you're giving into societal pressure, have your priorities all wrong and don't care about the health of your baby. Apparently.

I kind of agree with chips4 and DramaQueen, but from a more practical side of things. Although the idea of fake eyelashes made me raise my eyebrows a little.

If you rock up with fake tan and loads of make up how are the HCPs able to tell if you are looking unwell? Also, if you experience a long labour your make up isn't going to look great - panda eyes etc. And do they still tape your eyes shut if you have a GA?

I did things like shave my legs and have my hair done as close to DD's due date as I could because I knew that straight afterwards I would be prioritising other things.

Personally I'm not a fan of false eyelashes I just hate this attitude that doing anything more than washing your face with a Flash wipe means you're an airhead who can't focus on the Important Things.

@Circumlocator - I'm with you 100%.

Also, if you experience a long labour your make up isn't going to look great - panda eyes etc.

So that's the point of semi permanent lashes, which is where the thread started. I have no intention of rocking up to the delivery ward in a face full of slap. Which is precisely why I may spend some of my time in the preceding weeks/days doing things that will make me feel more put together, like getting lashes done, having a haircut, tidying my eyebrows, filing my nails.

Newborn babies look pretty 'dog rough' and they don't care. Perhaps babies are wiser than we give them credit?

Sigh. I find this thread so depressing. Also your extensions will drive you batshit when youre exhausted.

Don't forget most smartphones have filters that can be applied as you're taking the photos. My Samsung can make my skin look smooth and blemish free like I have foundation on when in actual fact I look like shite so the photos you have seen may not be reflect the reality x

I booked in for a mani, a pedi, full set of lashes and an eyebrow tint before labour!! Then had an EMCS before my appointment 🙈🙈

I was advised to have no make up, scrubbed, short nails, and nothing like falsies etc before my cs- risk of infection/foreign body introduction. Also not not to shave ex or depilatory in the days beforehand again due to risk of infection.

Personally I'd go in au naturel. If you're concerned about how you look you can always shove a bit of slap on after the hard work is done. Infection control and safety is the big concern.

Honestly?

False lashes and shellac are in no way going to distract anyone from the fact you've just given birth.

Concentrate on resting up, eating and sleeping, getting fresh air in the run up. And be a bit kinder to yourself.

(and you can always photoshop the pictures, if you must)

Shave wax or epilate... autocorrect.

Anyway false lashes /nails etc are an infection risk (as is too much makeup.)

@ALittleMop - you are missing the point. It is not about distracting other people or caring about what they think, it is about doing things that make you, as the person giving birth, feel better and more comfortable.

Put it this way - if I had had fake tan I probably WOULD have died as I insisted I was ok and it was only the midwife noticing I looked pale as a ghost and insisting I had a blood test that saved me. Apparently my bloods were so low I probably wouldn't have made it out to the car park without collapsing and I needed an immediate emergency 4 pint blood transfusion!

So to be fair maybe it's a bit of that coming through here as if I had of wanted to look good my boy may have been without a mother!

And yeah, its society making women think they should look good at all times rather than accept that they prob will look awful after labour.

I apologies for my comments about priorities - as I said I think they come from that place of 'if one of mine had been a tan I might not be here.'

Adding to that.....if you don't want to do anything, then great, that's perfectly fine. It's also perfectly fine if people want to do a few things that make them feel better (I don't think anybody is advocating going in with a full face of slap, hairspray, full set of nail extensions etc.). This is no way makes them less able or willing to focus on their health or the health of their baby.

"And yeah, its society making women think they should look good at all times rather than accept that they prob will look awful after labour."

This ^^ with bells on.

@DramaQueen - I had a light fake tan on when I gave birth because I wear it regularly, being very fair. It didn't prevent the medical team spotting my haemorrage. I had a 3 litre blood transfusion. If the medical team cannot see past fake tan to diagnose a life-threatening situation, they are clearly not up to the job.

" If the medical team cannot see past fake tan to diagnose a life-threatening situation, they are clearly not up to the job."

I don't think that is fair. Some of the "industrial" fake tans probably could cover up someone looking paler than usual.

I don't think that is fair. Some of the "industrial" fake tans probably could cover up someone looking paler than usual.

Agree completely. Sometimes a bit of pallor is all the hint you get. The amount of makeup people sometimes wear is more than enough to hide actual skin tone.

Infection control and hygiene takes precedence. You need to be as clean as you can when you go in. If that means make up, nail and falsies are a no go then so be it.

My hospital is perfume free too.