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Intimate whitening

345 replies

cantwaitforsummertimeeeeeee · 07/03/2017 17:02

So I've always wanted to ' brighten ' my downstairs but I would like some recommendations please

I've looked online and the products range from £10-£100
I know you get what you pay for but obviously want to be careful what I'm putting on my bits lol

Thanks

Ladies

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Heathen4Hire · 07/03/2017 18:42

I agree in part with op. I have had a very sheltered life as I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THIS BATSHIT CRAZINESS. It'seems been an education. Shuffles back into her cave

Heathen4Hire · 07/03/2017 18:43

It's been

Madbengalmum · 07/03/2017 18:46

PMSL, brilliantly funny thread.

However, on a serious note, I agree with Silent about the self esteem issues. plus who spends/has time to worry about such minutiae as what shade the inner lips of ones foof is? Who cares, not your partner surely?

sonlypuppyfat · 07/03/2017 18:49

My poor DH because I don't watch other people have sex? Not for me thanks, I think it's disgusting

rainbowrd · 07/03/2017 18:51

I don't think women feeling the need to conform to narrow standards seen on white porn stars is that much of a surprise at this point, is it?

BouncyFlouncy · 07/03/2017 18:52

Just do as I have OP - get fat. Can't see the damn thing anymore let alone worry about the colour it is.

ShelaghTurner · 07/03/2017 18:52

I'm intrigued by all the people who know what colour theirs is in the first place. My hoo-hoo could be bright blue for all I know. Must ask DH...

ShelaghTurner · 07/03/2017 18:54

(And I can vouch for Bouncy's getting fat tactics!)

GahBuggerit · 07/03/2017 18:54

Whhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaat?

Why do you want to bleach your fanny for you? do yu go knickerless and have mirrors on the front of your shoes and keep catching a glimpse of age spots or something?

are you sure its not just a case of you not wiping front to back?
on a serious note, ive never heard of a minge going coffee coloured. Id get that shit checked out tbh

GahBuggerit · 07/03/2017 18:56

would it not be easier to have a Dulux colour match done and just paint your surroundings in Labia au Lait so you blend in?

Haint · 07/03/2017 18:57

I see the youngsters of today experiencing a similar horror poor old John Ruskin had upon first getting into a ladies bloomers

Well they say everything is cyclical

ClaryIsTheBest · 07/03/2017 19:00

I'm intrigued by all the people who know what colour theirs is in the first place. My hoo-hoo could be bright blue for all I know.

Shaving? Idk. I must admit, I do know how mine looks like.

Then again, my former gyno used to ask me if I wanted to "have a look" everytime she was finished down there... ;)

drinkswineoutofamug · 07/03/2017 19:02

It seems the going trend to have a designer fanjo . Personally as I have no one to impress I don't really care for it. Each to their own and if op wants shade 69 she can. Her fanny her choice.
To the poster who is a experience bum hole bleacher? Do you get a colour chart like in B&Q?

And a bit off thread but does waxing down there give you saggy flaps?

ShelaghTurner · 07/03/2017 19:06

Gardening is done with eyes closed and prayers said 😂

EnidButton · 07/03/2017 19:07

WTaF is this? 😲

Ok. Now I'll rtft but really...

nobullshitallowed · 07/03/2017 19:09

@drinkswineoutofamug

No colour chart no.

But when I got my first job in the country I moved to, I worked in the gay district. They wanted the bleach left a couple of minutes longer so it would glow in the nightclub lights. We use to be booked out on a Friday just for this purpose Grin

drinkswineoutofamug · 07/03/2017 19:11

Img that's hilarious 😂😂

ClaryIsTheBest · 07/03/2017 19:12

Shelagh

I'd be afraid of permanently mutilating some bits I really really want to keep if I did it like that. No way. gardening is done with my eyes wide open and some unwilling yoga (I made DH do it when I was pregnant. He'll have to start doing that again very soon I think. I'm pregnant with DC2...).

No way I'm doing something down there without actually seeing what I'm doing...

Somerville · 07/03/2017 19:16

Enroll it on the OU

Grin Grin Grin

@FrancisCrawford - never has your username suited you more. Genius!

drinkswineoutofamug · 07/03/2017 19:16

Would it be wrong to do gardening with oh beard trimmer and not tell him?

SenseiWoo · 07/03/2017 19:19

Well, OP, be very careful. Any product strong enough to be effective may well weaken and thin your skin. Don't buy anything dodgy on the Internet because it might have banned ingredients.

This is from the NHS website:

Skin-lightening techniques can result in serious side effects and complications. People with darker skin tones are particularly at risk of these problems.

Powerful skin-lightening creams are available on prescription from a doctor. These usually contain one or both of the following medications:

<strong>hydroquinone</strong>
<strong>corticosteroids (steroid medication), such as hydrocortisone</strong>

Products containing these ingredients that haven’t been prescribed by a doctor are banned in the UK, as they can cause serious side effects if used incorrectly.

Products containing other potentially harmful substances such as mercury are also banned.

Make sure you check the ingredients of any product before you buy it. Avoid it if hydroquinone, corticosteroids or mercury are listed in the ingredients, or if it doesn’t come with a list of ingredients.

Many alternative skin-lightening products containing natural ingredients are available online and in shops without prescription. These are legal and unlikely to be harmful, but there’s no guarantee they work.

Your doctor will advise you how to use your skin-lightening cream.

You’ll normally be advised to:

*use it sparingly once or twice a day on the darkened area of skin only
avoid getting the cream on the surrounding skin or in your eyes, mouth  and nose*
<strong>apply the cream with a cotton bud, or wash your hands thoroughly before and after applying the cream</strong>
<strong>avoid touching the treated area against another person's skin for at least a few hours after applying the cream</strong>
<strong>use sun cream to protect your skin from the aggravating effects of sunlight</strong>

Most people will need to continue the treatment for around three or four months. Your doctor may recommend stopping treatment after this time, or only using it very occasionally.

Side effects of skin-lightening creams can include:

<strong>skin irritation and inflammation (redness and swelling)</strong>
<strong>a burning or stinging sensation</strong>
<strong>itchy and flaky skin</strong>

Possible risks of creams containing hydroquinone, corticosteroids or mercury include:

<strong>skin turning dark or too light</strong>
<strong>thinning of the skin</strong>
<strong>visible blood vessels in the skin</strong>
<strong>scarring</strong>
<strong>kidney, liver or nerve damage</strong>
<strong>abnormalities in a newborn baby (if used during pregnancy)</strong>

The words "not really worth the risks" spring to mind.

EnidButton · 07/03/2017 19:20

So this afternoon I had a grooming session. Full body scrub, hair conditioning mask, shaved legs, bikini line and pits, trimmed the remaining lady garden right down, facial scrub, used sheet mask, defuzzed arms and top lip, plucked brows, used 3 types of body moisturiser, filed my feet, applied foot moisturiser, did a pedicure, buffed, polished and filed Nails, painted them, blow dried my hair, used whitening strip in my teeth, flossed, hot cloth oil cleansed, put on eye cream, serum, an acid, face moisturiser, lip balm, eye brow growth serum and eyelash growth serum, put on hand cream and cuticle oil and done.

Thought I was doing quite well and now you tell me people are bleaching their fannies too?? Shock

EnidButton · 07/03/2017 19:21

Drinks Blush I do that but I do tell him. He doesn't use that bit of his razor anyway. Should get my own though.

tethersend · 07/03/2017 19:25

"WOW"

Are you having a W tattooed on each buttock too?

SpecialFlowSnake · 07/03/2017 19:28

@EnidButton That sort of carry-on really eats into one's Mumsnetting time.

I do take a shower every day nearly whether I need it or not.

Seriously people I am aghast at the revelations in this thread.

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