What makes a person frumpy?

[Ladyfoxglove]

I'm feeling decidedly frumpy at the moment. Whilst trying on some old clothes the other day, I caught sight of myself from the back in a full length mirror and I look just like my mother did twenty years ago horrors!

The trouble is, although I'm looking at all the nice new clothes around about now I can't decide what to get. I get my hair cut and highlighted regularly (shoulder length, straight) and I'm 5' 7" and reasonably slim, instead of the effect I'm after (sophisticated, slightly edgy but natural), I'm more average 46 year old frumpy, boring woman from the Midlands. I can't pinpoint where I'm going wrong.

I look similar to Kate Winslet but I'd rather look like kristen taekman (sorry for Real Housewives reference but that's the look I like).

Any suggestions?

A former colleague of mine was very frumpy, including outside of work. She was overweight but not massively so, was just into middle-age and had grey hair in an unflattering cut, wore beige a lot, and when she didn't she wore plain pastel shades, which washed her out.

Her clothes were often a badly-fitting jumper or cardigan, baggy black or beige polyester trousers or mid-calf skirt and cheap black shoes, which were in the plainest of styles (see pic). No accessories at all. Oh, and socks with the shoes. Her posture was poor and she had hunched shoulders.

She was only about 50 but dressed like my grandma, who is 86 and old-school.

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this yet, but even young girls can look frumpy if they have cankles and wear flat ballet pumps with a skirt/dress. One of my good friends is a serial offender, and no matter how many times I try and tell her that ballet flats are bad for our feet, she insists on wearing them!

Oh God, the young girls shuffling along in those cheap nasty cardboard "ballet flats". I could cry for their feet. It seems that they either wear those, or vertiginous stripper shoes they also can't walk in. I know the 90's was the era that syle forgot, but at least we could walk (and even dance) in those sparkly trainers!

I think frumpiness is vaguely synonymous with mumsy ness, it's also related to being self deprecating and conventional, further than that I can't elucidate.

Is there a term for the male equivalent of frumpy?

What do you reckon to kitten heels?

I've noticed Mme Alt wearing them sometimes with her rolled up skinnies or cigarette pants. Not sure a civilian could pull it off with such apparent ease though.

I suspect it stems from a feeling that you are not important enough to spend time and effort pampering yourself or 'making the best of yourself '

I also don't think that there are many hard and fast rules, frumpiness comess from within and can't be easily disguised

I think men just look scruffy as opposed to frumpy.

It would be the whole unshaven/untrimmed, messy hair, creased baggy clothes, beige, generally unkempt look.

It's so much easier for men to look smart, IMO - they have fewer components to worry about!

sofacanary I suspect she can wear kitten heels with bootleg jeans and fleece and still won't look frumpy. It's for f**k all to do with clothes sometimes.

I think any shoe shape can be great, if it goes with the style of the outfit. Trill's scientific observations are spot on, especially about the jewelry. It's about different elements working together, where the whole picture works in harmony.

I do love Emmanuelle Alt's look.

My least favourite male look is the overgrown child one; baggy cargo pants, oversized "funky" tee shirt, "cool Dad" trainers. Soooooo unsexy.

Kitten heels were out for years but now they're back.

Jimmy Choo

Louboutin

D&G

I have a male friend that says he always looks to three key elements to ascertain why a person looks well put together.

The 3 B's: belt, boots, Barnet

And he's dead right. If you start with getting these three right, the rest follows. I would add a fourth B: brows.

Male Frumpiness is pretty much Jezza Clarkson isn't it?

Reckon you're right OneLittle, it's the attitude, well that and being a willowy 6 footer helps.

Christ, those Louboutin kitten heels are heinous!

The ways in which men's dressing goes wrong requires a whole thread in itself.

Men tend to be less fashion conscious anyway unless they're 16 or gay.
I don't know that frumpiness applies so much as a tendency to downright mankiness.

Is frumpy just another way of saying un cool?

My least favourite male look is the overgrown child one; baggy cargo pants, oversized "funky" tee shirt, "cool Dad" trainers. Soooooo unsexy.

Could not agree more. The summer is an assault on my senses.

Even young models are not immune from frumpery

www.uniqlo.com/uk/store/feature/uq/outerwear/women/

Christ, those Louboutin kitten heels are heinous!

Aren't they! Who would pay £500+ to wear those?

Aww SofaCanary, she looks like Wednesday Addams forced to go on a DofE expedition.

I think they are gorgeous. They would look great with boyfriend jeans and a teal or chocolate brown top. Needless to say i don't have £500 to spend on one pair of shoes. I shall just have to dream!

Kitten heels are back in enough these days for them to be in.

I can't do them really, too refined for me. But E Alt does look really good, pretty much all the time.

Kitten heels make my feet look like canoes. Hate them.