What makes a person frumpy?

[Ladyfoxglove]

I'm feeling decidedly frumpy at the moment. Whilst trying on some old clothes the other day, I caught sight of myself from the back in a full length mirror and I look just like my mother did twenty years ago horrors!

The trouble is, although I'm looking at all the nice new clothes around about now I can't decide what to get. I get my hair cut and highlighted regularly (shoulder length, straight) and I'm 5' 7" and reasonably slim, instead of the effect I'm after (sophisticated, slightly edgy but natural), I'm more average 46 year old frumpy, boring woman from the Midlands. I can't pinpoint where I'm going wrong.

I look similar to Kate Winslet but I'd rather look like kristen taekman (sorry for Real Housewives reference but that's the look I like).

Any suggestions?

I have very short hair because it looks better on me than longer hair. I tried to grow it longer this year and, because it is wavy, my hair made me look ultra frumpy.

And, yes, shorter hair is easier for me because I don't have to get the straighteners out every time I wash it. So longer hair also looks dry and out of condition on me, but shorter hair doesn't.

Very interesting thread and a subject I have debated many times!

IMO there are some people who like to go on about how they are some sort of higher and more intelligent being as they are not bothered by 'frivoulous' things like how they look. They say they are 'too busy' and simply 'have better things to do' than bother about how they look. So they (generally) look frumpy but act superior to those who do bother.

In reality I think it's more that they generally aren't interested, or maybe are interested but have no idea where to start so rather than say that they retreat into a place of 'oh it doesn't matter anyway'. NO problem with this, wear as vile a shoe and as fleecy and boxy a fleece as you like but PLEASE don't act superior to me, who always wears make up and likes to look nice.

Here endeth my sermon.

Loving this thread.

I agree with everyone who says that frumpy ISN'T about being unsexy or unfashionable, it's about not dressing to make yourself feel good.

I don't think I'm frumpy. I'm 38, watch my weight and exercise, and now colour my hair at home with professional colours and spend money on a good cut (I had a Hair Intervention a year ago after a shitty cheap cut and shitty home colours made me look like crap. The difference it made was immense).

As for my clothes... I have oversize shirts worn with cigarette pants and brogues (men's vintage hand made from Harrod's for the price of new plastic from New Look) or suede Dicker-style ankle boots. Or a couple of lovely Boden (really) tencel dresses which hang and swish in a v Nigella style. Or mid calf vintage circle skirts with tucked in tops and mid heeled lace ups.

Out of work, boyfriend jeans, bretons, plain sweatshirts and boots.

I think the only unifying element is that I love all my clothes. Most are vintage or expensive brands but from eBay so work out cheaper than Primark, and I make some of them. But I decided a few years ago that 'sod it that'll do' items weren't coming home with me any more.

The point is, whatever the hell I actually look like, I feel good when I leave the house and I enjoy getting dressed. I do have a massive style crush on Emanuelle Alt though.

I agree with the 'it'll do' comment.
I'd rather buy one top, 1 pair of trousers or a dress for £100 than 2 or 3 for that sum.
I now only buy things that really 'do ' it for me, that fit well, show off my shape, the colour suits, and they go together with at least 2 other items I already have.

Or mid calf vintage circle skirts with tucked in tops and mid heeled lace ups. - See, this would make me look ultra-frump! You have to dress for who you are, not someone else's template.

Jimmy I'd love it if you started a thread telling us about your evening class experiment.

I think it's a lovely idea - with new people you can choose how you want to present yourself and what kind of person you want them to perceive you as (not just in terms of clothes but everything).

Garlic - couldn't agree more. That particular style works really well on my shape (v small top half, small waist, HIPS) so I feel good in it = not frumpy.

Neat fitted skirts finishing on the knee with any kind of heeled shoe DOES make me feel uber-frump, and I'm not sure how much of it is not liking my knees and how much of it is that it's Just Not My Style, because I do like it on other people.

What's the male equivalent of frumpy?

What would Mr Frump be wearing?

Not off topic, btw, the thread title is

What makes a person frumpy..

I look and feel like Carol Jackson - Haha, MrsDV! I can & do wear that, apparently successfully, but always make myself think of Audrey from Corrie

re: Carol Jackson, MrsdeVere have you got a few waterfall cardis

Mr Frump ... Bagged-out suits, unless they're swanky tweed outfits. Seventies 'lecturer' look, with corduroy and elbow patches. Builders bum jeans. Tan chinos with sandals. Sandals with socks!!!

Bianca ... An extreme example of how to get it so wrong, it's right! It must be so much fun dressing her :)

Oooh, you actually make waterfall look cool! [impressed]

sounds great, I reckon you could probably pull off the slacks and blouse look, as long as no one on this thread has a pink jacket like Bianca's with leopardskin print.

I admit to liking and having longer length cardis as they cover my tummy and bottom areas.

OK perhaps I overstated the lipstick comment a bit. But I did say 'obvious' and I was thinking of women who wear really bright, harsh, unsubtle lipstick which, IMO, is almost always ageing and often frumpy.

I prefer the subtle ' barely there ' effect of lip sheers and balms and also think it looks better and less ageing on others . I do wear something on my lips every day but it's By Terry Baume de Rose.

poly I am thinking you are imagining me dressing as one of these ladies!!

See, I can rock luxe sportswear, but if I wore a lycra mini I would look like something out of Rita, Sue and Bob too. Maybe not Rita or Sue, but certainly Bob's wife.
Also, anything too tight or "sexy" and I look (i was once told) like a Russian Frumpy on me is definitely anything too "done", so that rules out pencil skirts, ultra high heels, flowery dresses, or anything too girly. Sports luxe is perfect, because it's subtle.
I loooove that Kathryn H look too. In fact, I like anything a teensy bit butch, like your biker boots Mrs D.

The Northern town I live in has about 16 hair and beauty salons, and there are some fine examples of ultra groomed over 50's. Many gold trimmed accessories, much expensively coloured and feather cut hair!

Like a Russian hooker that should have said!