What makes a person frumpy?

[Ladyfoxglove]

I'm feeling decidedly frumpy at the moment. Whilst trying on some old clothes the other day, I caught sight of myself from the back in a full length mirror and I look just like my mother did twenty years ago horrors!

The trouble is, although I'm looking at all the nice new clothes around about now I can't decide what to get. I get my hair cut and highlighted regularly (shoulder length, straight) and I'm 5' 7" and reasonably slim, instead of the effect I'm after (sophisticated, slightly edgy but natural), I'm more average 46 year old frumpy, boring woman from the Midlands. I can't pinpoint where I'm going wrong.

I look similar to Kate Winslet but I'd rather look like kristen taekman (sorry for Real Housewives reference but that's the look I like).

Any suggestions?

I felt a tide of frumpiness washing over me about, I don't know, a year ago. I took a long hard look at myself and realized that my clothes were just...a bit out of fashion. It's hard to explain, but the devil is in the detail: I looked around and noticed jean lengths were different, everyone was wearing topknots (I dislike the huge doughnut ones but like the looser, messy ones), and I realized that except on very good days I can't really leave the house without a bit of foundation and a bit of blusher. So I updated my wardrobe a bit, at a reasonable expense, and made a bit more effor with my hair and skin, and I feel tons better.

I have a friend love her really who is so frumpy.

But its a combination of things that makes her look this way. The main thing I think, is that she slouches all the time. If she stood up straight more, she would look a lot better. But I know why she slouches, she has very large boobs, and she was always embarrassed by them, hence not trying to show them off by hunching her back.

She doesn't iron any of her clothes. Even the nicest clothes on her, don't look great if they are all creased.

Most of the time she is covered in dog hair. They have lots of dogs who have free roam of the house, which include the beds and furniture.

But she is my friend and I love her to bits, so these things don't really matter to me or her. She has two very busy young boys and I don't think she has the energy at the moment to worry too much about herself.

To me frumpy is all about dated clothes +
No makeup +
Dated or granny type shoes (eg clumpy flats) +
Dated hairdo.

This is a bit weird but IMO pale people also tend to look frumpy more easily (I'm pale so I can say it).

From playground observation, I think there are three danger zones for frumpiness:

• hair
• coat
• shoes/boots

Get even one of these wrong and all is lost.
Have good hair/coat/shoes and you'll struggle to look frumpy.

I hate seeing middle aged women wearing washed out denim or over washed colours that have lost all energy, cropped trousers in the summer , short back and sides with fringe hairstyles that look utterly sexless , shoes that make their feet look titchy but their bodies like massive, ( pirate wear), and a total lack of makeup .

Sorry as someone who often doesn't wear makeup I have to dispute that is automatically frumpy .I have good skin which needs little coverage, my brows and lashes are tinted and I usually have a touch of By Terry lip balm on. Bright, powdery, unsubtle makeup looks far worse and more frumpish IMO

I think frumpiness is related to being not very sexy, not very vital, not very relaxed, not very ready to laugh.
I think it's an internal stance, and can't be covered up by cool clothing.

Agree with poly about make-up. I don't wear any. I look fresher without it. And younger. Heavy make-up is frumpy, imo.

Heavy make up is sad, I agree. I see it and think that person felt the need of a lot of help when they looked in the mirror.

But then we don't get enough sun in the uk, to help us have glowing complexions.

Agree with most of these, but see, LuvDa, to me accessories are pretty frumpy! Style to me is simplicity. Anything more than a watch and a wedding band, if you wear one, tends towards frumpiness. I associate jewellery with ladies of my granny's era.

I am pale. < shoots self >

I agree, the paleness doesn't help at all. I use St Tropez just to take the ghostly glow off.

I had a meeting with a French woman last week and my goodness she was chic. She was tiny (aren't they all), very tanned, very slim and dressed casually in grey tones from head to toe. I think the things that made her look good were the tan, the lovely clothes and the thinness.

at SisterNancySinatra's pirate wear. I know exactly what you mean.

I'd LOVE to look like my mum, I'm much frumpier than her

I hardly ever wear make up. Never in the day and I hate foundation but then my skin is great. Frumpy is an attitude and definitely posture.

I think frumpy is a state of mind.

The state of mind will turn someone away from:

That'll do (clothes, hair, posture)

To

That'll never do... I must stand tall, I must wear things that make me feel wonderful (I am worth it), I must just sort out my barnet... etc.

I think frumpy is the opposite of sexy on the "looks" spectrum

I had a German Grandmother who always told me:

"So wie du kommst gegangen, so wirst du empfangen"

in other words: Walk like a queen!

It's all in posture and attitude. I had no choice, at 6ft1 (that German Grandma again!) I was never going to blend into the background, so I just have to work with what I have and adopt a bit of an attitude

I google pics of Emmanuelle Alt when I fear myself teetering on the brink of frumpdon.

www.google.com/search?q=emmanuelle+alt&biw=907&bih=416&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=h3MIVK2BFs3T7AbRloCwAg&sqi=2&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ

I think most women over 40 do look better with some make up.
it doesn't have to be plastered on a la Danny la Rue.
Think Bobbi Brown.
For example there is a woman on the Great Bake Off at the moment who could look beautiful- a bit like Lindsay Duncan- and her face is screaming out for some light foundation, defined brows and lashes and a slick of lippie- she might be 50s or even 60s- but she has beautiful bone structure.

Frumpy to me is- calf or ankle length skirts especially on larger women- they think this hides their figures. If they are flowery skirts or patterned with a coordinating top they look even worse- my mum and her 80s friends wear this ( that's 80s in age not the 1980s)

White ankle socks showing with any kind of shoes or boots.

Plain low heeled court shoes with jeans ( kitten heels with pointy toes are fine.)

High waisted jeans with a belt and a shirt tucked in.

Being overweight- sorry but it is ageing.

Hair that is dyed one shade all over yet the grey roots are showing.

Oh and I forgot- a love of all things beige.
Or the alternative - a screaming fuschia pink top , jacket or similar as a 'nod' to fashion.

I am six feet and agree having height makes you stride a bit more positively.
I'm 54 and determined not to be frumpy. I probably manage it 90% of the time.
Hate summer. I look better in boots .

Big hips can be terribly frumpyfying unless you're careful that's why I never wear skirts

Oh my God, you are all describing me Creased clothes/no make up/low ponytail with flat hair/putting myself last/not wanting to stand out/I wore white trainer socks today/washed out clothes/all over hair dye with greys showing at roots....aaaaaargh.

Sofa Emmanuelle Alt is fab, also Charlotte Gainsbourg.

Not sure if this link will work but a nice example of the ankle length skirt and the colourful top over black trews.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2739237/Mums-M-S-makeover-Despairing-mother-bought-stores-frumpiest-cl