What makes a person frumpy?

[Ladyfoxglove]

I'm feeling decidedly frumpy at the moment. Whilst trying on some old clothes the other day, I caught sight of myself from the back in a full length mirror and I look just like my mother did twenty years ago horrors!

The trouble is, although I'm looking at all the nice new clothes around about now I can't decide what to get. I get my hair cut and highlighted regularly (shoulder length, straight) and I'm 5' 7" and reasonably slim, instead of the effect I'm after (sophisticated, slightly edgy but natural), I'm more average 46 year old frumpy, boring woman from the Midlands. I can't pinpoint where I'm going wrong.

I look similar to Kate Winslet but I'd rather look like kristen taekman (sorry for Real Housewives reference but that's the look I like).

Any suggestions?

William, your size is not the frumpiness issue. One of my best friends is a size 20+, she hates it but always dresses amazingly. She'll suggest dresses etc for me that I wouldn't have considered before that she's always right about. Another larger friend was wearing a Beth Ditto at Evans dress a few years ago that I absolutely coveted.

Maybe it is tied to what's fashionable. I thought maybe it wasn't, but so many things people are mentioning are things that were in fashion once. Even bootcut jeans were fashionable once...

Take something like brogues. Personally I'm not a huge fan anyway, but I suspect they are something which will tip over into frumpiness as soon as they become unfashionable.

yes, larger size bodies shouldn't be hidden away in dull colours and shapeless clothes...that's a sure way to frumpsville. it's all about a bold, joyful look!

I dunno Thurlow. I think skater dresses look great...on skaters. But I see quite a few women my age (40+) and on the big boned size that try and squeeze into them. They look frumpy.

I know what you mean about skater dresses!

Trying too hard to wear what is fashionable if it doesn't suit you isn't going to make you look good (some of the things mentioned earlier, cigarette pants and shirts and the like - trust me, me on a curvy 5'1 you're going to look like a tit)

But I bet in X years time cigarette pants and brogues will look frumpy

Perhaps it's a decade out of fashion thing, skinny jeans went from being 'fashion forward' types wearing them to 'everyone' about 7 years ago, after having been around for a couple of years before (I remember having a conversation about them on a skiing holiday to whistler that they'd become 'mainstream' so one of my more curvy friends had given in and bought a pair of skinnies, so I can date it to 7 years ago it 'tipped'). Still then, a lot of us had bootcuts as well, but they died and weren't replaced by most of us. Those still hanging on to them will look frumpy because they are so long out of fashion, they are only being bought now for comfort and practical reasons, and you will be able to get a more fashionable cut jean for the same price.

I think Uggs are going that way now too, they were fashionable, then they were just something people already had in their wardrobe that was comfy, now they are beyond that stage and not something you'd expect to see on someone who makes effort to be fashionable, and as those who bought them first when they were fashionable are this winter throwing htem out as they're getting to the worn out stage, those who aren't solely thinking 'comfort/practicality' will replace them with a different flat casual boot. The choice to buy Uggs now is not thinking about fashion or style, just in terms of functionality of clothing and so probably next or the winter after, they'll look frumpy.

I don't know Mary. I wear skinnies but I'm an old punk ! Bootcut were never an option personally and it's hard to buy normal straight leg so skinnies are my leggings if you like?! Likewise I'd never wear brogues or ballet pumps, really hate them both. But that's a personal choice. Although with ballet pumps they make chunky legs look chunkier and squatter. But my opinion isn't an option as I doubt many of you would heart my vivienne westwood bondage shorts as much as I do!

I think something that can lead to frumpiness is wearing the wrong item for the wrong occasion and mixing styles. To me frumpy is someone choosing a summer dress, delicate jewellery and a small bag and then teaming that with a fleece jacket and walking sandals. Wearing a cardie or nice sandals would change the outfit in seconds. Classic frump to me is old jeans that are too short or cling around the stomach and crotch, tight scoop neck top, fleece or hoodie, earrings or necklace, black boots and small radley bag tucked under the arm, leather dog a-swinging! It is things that are fine in their way but combined just look 'off.' It's not about age or size.

I don't think wearing a pair of studs everyday is frumpy. I don't think all Boden stuff is frumpy either.

Very late to this thread due to password issues, but have been lurking and pondering...
was out to lunch with group of friends,all late forties up to late fifties.
One lady had calf length fairly full skirt on with pastel pink linen
shirt tucked in and drapey jersey cardigan over the top.
All items from higher end retailers I would imagine,Cardigan was Boden and I think she got the skirt from Toast.
but together they did look frumpy and aged her.
For me, I feel frumpier when overweight .
have this year embarked on exercise programme combined with MFP and dropped 2 stones,I think that has had a bearing on my frump factor, especially at my age,47.
Large boobs and thighs with muffin top didn't help.
someone up thread mentioned that certain shops are less frumpy than others and I agree.
I used to wear Boden jersey dresses a lot and whilst some are ok, I'm now looking in different shops such as Whistles, Cos, Mint Velvet where the chances of 'frump' are fewer.

Someone mentioned wearing the same jewellery as being frumpy. Holly Willoughby always wears that gold necklace but doesn't look frumpy BUT if I wore her clothes then I'd feel beyond frumpy! Maybe because I'd feel self conscious and not 'me'.

Hello, my name is Sofa and I still occasionally wear bootcut jeans

BUT

They are beautifully cut, fit like a glove and loooong in the leg (MIH Marrakesh). I pair them with chunky, high platform type shoes and a tucked in shirt and always rolled up sleeeves (the horror!).

Now on paper that sounds like a punishable offense but worn as a 'look' it works and makes me feel like one of the original Charlie's Angels...yes, that's right, I am deluded as well as deeply unfashionable

Sounds good to me Sofa!

I think that 50's/60's Mad Men type look that Holly does, with all the structured dresses can look great on certain people. I once got done up very 50's for a wedding-structured dress, coiffed up do, tiny hat with veil, chunky heels. I looked like Margaret Thatcher!
Maybe 10 years earlier and a stone lighter I would have looked sexy. Put me in tight jeans, boots and unkempt hair, and I shtill goddit though, so I tend to shy away from anything demure/groomed/ twee or too 50's as it can end up looking matronly.

Yea, the thing is, actually, bootcuts and flares are actuallymuch more flattering on most women than skinnies. I LOVE that Charlies Angels look too. As pp said, skinnies have tipped over into fully mainstream, so flares are probably due a comeback anyway!
It's just the slightly too short bootcut jeans with clumpy black ankle boots and a cardi that is frumpy.

Know what you mean about Holly W, I'd look and feel like Liz McDonald if I wore her curvy little dresses.

And yes to unkempt hair, so much more youthful (read sexier) than prim, news reader type hair. I'm a big fan of looking a bit 'undone'.

One lady had calf length fairly full skirt on with pastel pink linen
shirt tucked in and drapey jersey cardigan over the top.

This to me is the epitome of frumpy in your 40s or 50s- it's what my mum's friends (bless them) in their 80s wear- and even my mum draws the line at waterfall cardis, being short and very big busted.

High heels are the answer to it all (and NOT wedges).

I'm going to sound really bitchy posting this but hey ho...

When I was in my 20's I worked in a library. Most of the staff were 40 or over, with me and a colleague in our 20's. No uniform code.
My boss was 40. She was a little overweight but not very much so. She was what I can only describe as frumpy. Typical outfit for the day would be a brown or dark maroon a-line dress with large flowers (think upholstery fabric from the 1970's), with thick dark tights, and very enclosed flat, lace-up shoes. A paste jewellery brooch might be pinned on, and she had a 'nurses watch' that was always pinned to her cardigan (which always had a tissue balled up in the sleeve).
Very short hair (uncoloured). Seldom smiled, very 'proper' about things.

When I hit 40 (some years ago) I reviewed my appearance against my 'known' 40 year old (ex boss). My typical outfit for a day would be bootleg jeans with a slogan t-shirt (not offensive), zip-fronted hoodie, hello kitty socks and trainers. Long hair, dyed orange. Very open-minded.

I'm feeling frumpy today. Even though I'm slobbing about in PJ's (Which have a picture of a fox dressed as a burglar on them) and leopard-print slipper-socks.

Topshop used to have some nice good quality wearable stuff

They've gone mental the last few years, all horrible artificial material and too fashion-y

Pinkfrocks I agree with your latest post but ageism has popped up a few times on this thread and just think that 'bless them' about your mum's friends comes across as really patronising .

I think frumpy is a state of mind. Think Trinny and Suzanna before the makeover! I think jewellery is wonderful and I don't care if that makes me frumpy.

There's a popular belief on here that you can't wear bootcuts but actually all the best designer jean brands do them. Now they're called kick flares or what have you & they're skinny to the knee. I've been wearing skinny bell bottoms for about 5 years. I've had women running up to me saying 'where did you get those jeans?!' (Citizens of Humanity). Suddenly this summer all of west London are wearing them. I wear them because I love channelling the spirit of '75 and I don't like wearing what everyone else is.

Skinnies are just now a classic staple rather than being fashionable.

It's a Venn diagram.

I can't draw it here, but imagine frumpy is one circle, bootcut jeans is another circle, the overlap is "frumpy wearing bootcut jeans".

For a while bootcut jeans were the staple "not trying" jeans, so a large proportion of frumpy people were wearing bootcut jeans, so it was thought that "bootcut jeans = frumpy". In reality they are neither necessary nor sufficient for frumpyness.

I have been reading this with interest. As I commute on public transport for hours and hours every day week in week out, I have given this a lot of thought. I don't expect anyone to be reading or care 'cos we are on page 15, but these are my distilled thoughts:

• If you are young, pretty and thin enough you can't really be frumpy as there is a back-to-the 80's retro library chic thing going on at the moment. I reguarly see outfits on teens that are clearly fashionable, but when I transpose that outfit mentally onto me or my mum, it is frumpy and beyond (still wearing it from the first time round? - when it was unfashionable then!).
• Once you are over 25, getting a tummy or becoming complacement about fashion, then you can look frumpy. To save yourself you need have a few of the following to make it look as you still care: wear edgy make up, have an edgy hair cut, statement accessories, at least one fashion-forward piece, cool shoes, and/or fitted clothes.

No make up, no/wrong accessories, comfortable/badly fitting clothes and blah easy hair make you look frumpy imho. And honestly if you don't care, you probably don't care. I work as a teacher and am consider ancient by the kids anyway. I couldn't care less about their opinion of me, but outside of school, I try to still look a bit more edgy. I rely on hair, earings, cool shoes and at least one fitted garment with a rocky vibe. Probably fail miserably, but at least I give it a go.

I think the reason that "wearing the same jewellery every day" can contribute to frumpyness is because there will inevitably be days when it is the wrong jewellery.

On a complete stranger you can sometimes spot someone who is wearing something that doesn't fit with the style or occasion of their outfit at all, but they have just clearly put it on out of habit.