Have just received the 'schedule and dress code' for a wedding I'm attending.

[ShowOfHands]

I'm screwed.

I'm seriously screwed.

Primark/Penneys are doing suede wedges at the moment for ?10 (I don't do heels either but am considering purchasing a couple of pairs for work in the summer) - red, navy or tan, straw heels so quite summery/garden partyish.

Can you tell us the venue without outing yourself? (am nosey cos am Irish and want to know if I've ever been to a wedding there!)

There are a few very,very cheap garden partyish dresses here on Penny Plain.

I think they are aimed at older women but some of them are OK!

The day itself is formal (fascinator or hat required) and heels should be high. I have never worn heels in my life. There are pimms soirees and afternoon garden parties to which I have to wear a semi formal dress (no skirts, should be summery) and men may wear shirt sleeves if warm and shorts if smart.

IS THE WEDDING IN FUCKING STEPFORD?

Will there be mogadon in the champs and will the laydeeze retire while the men quaff port and smoke cigars?

I would be RAGING if I got a request like that.

HEELS SHOULD BE HIGH!!!!!!!!!

Showy, If I didn't know you I would never ever ever believe this.

hahha, I misread Hully's indignant caps as

iS THE WEDDING ON FUCKING STEROIDS?

It's totally a wedding on steroids! (please post the full schedule)

I have hairband type thing from monsoon. It is white with a clear stone and white feathers. It sits flat on your head. PM me your address if you would like it. Its dressish but a bit different. Cant help with dresses, you're much thinner than me!

Showy, I have a size 8 red silk Phase 8 wrap dress which doesn't suit me as my boobs are too small. It's knee length and gorgeous and would be v flattering over a C section bump.

Do you want it? It will sit in my wardrobe forever otherwise. I will stick a picture on my profile if you're interested.

I have just realised you're an 8. Which I am not I do however have a fab cream wedding hat....

What size are your feet?

Cheap

Also cheap

QUICK IT ENDS IN 2 HOURS

Boden

Could this be mended?

If I were you I would wear a smarter version of what you usually wear eg. If you are a strictly jeans and jumper person I would go for wide legged trousers and a sleeveless blouse (similar to that victoriana dress you linked to). Also wedge or platform shoes or any sandals you have as they'd be hidden by the trousers anyhow. Seriously you can absolutely wear trousers to a wedding - my mum and half the female guests wore trousers to mine. No one cared and everyone looked nice. As a concession, a huge flower in your hair, hat (charity shops should be a good source) or something else in uour hair would make it more weddingy.

As the bridal couple you should feel privileged that people want to celebrate your wedding with you and trust them as grown ups to choose
appropriate clothes to wear. And even if they don't, at least they made the effort to turn up. Rant over.

Definitely wear flats

If they are good friends then I'd slap them hard. They'll appreciate it one day. Seriously, heel height, what on earth? I can't wear heels at the moment as I'd put my back out, I'd be claiming disability discrimination if I was a guest! On the more useful front Matalan does fascinators from about £3 or £4 which are surprisingly nice for that type of thing.

It sounds like you're getting fitted now but just wanted to say I am. Formal sort if person. My idea of casual clothes is smart black trousers and fitted top. I do not own a pair of trainers or jogging bottoms.

BUT I would be appalled at that dress code. I don't wear high heels. I have been to weddings wearing lovely summery dresses in flattish shoes. I have Aldo Wien floaty skirts Snd blouses. I never wear hats to a wedding apart from one in Wales where we hired them. Fascinates look tacky.

Oh, a fabric shop or haberdashery (Hickey's) will have cheap fabric flowers and feathers for a DIY fascinator.

I would love ot if you would take up the generous offers of the MNers above, and then post a pic on profile.

A lovely MN support story! Go for it.

That Boden dress is lovely!

Just looking back at the instructions for the men at the potential garden party, there's potential there for some bloke to go slightly wide of the mark and arrive in a Hawaiian shirt and beach shots.

This is the same as the dress I'm offering btw, except mine is a size 8 and I don't want any money for it.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/stunning-Phase-Eight-100-silk-wrap-dress-12-/300867371238?nma=true&si=g2lQNXOra2bLxxh%252BmEgh7I9OhL4%253D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

Oh you people are just brillig. Thank you for your kind offers of help for a washed up hippy. MN is marvellous. I don't say that enough.

I think we've found a solution. By we I mean super BOF and her legendary cape/knickers over tights. She sent a couple of dresses over and one of them fits, covers up all hideous bits and matches a hat I already own. BOF herself will have to tell you whether it looks ridiculous, though she informs me she's ill so the picture I've sent her might have finished her off completely and she'll never recover, let alone post on MN again. Bagsy her cape frankly.

So, I have a purple dress and a purple hat. I will try and work out how to get the picture from my phone onto here.

I have some flat purple velvet thai slippers but they wouldn't be weather friendly for owt but brilliant sunshine I suspect.

So shoes and a wrap or jacket or something? To match purple.

And what do people do about things like hair? Do you go to a hairdressers on the day? This will be my only holiday/childfree day in 6.5yrs. I'm even going to wear my good knickers. Should a hairdresser attempt something?

Have added a couple of pics. Laugh away...

I would laugh but you are still private . I am sure you look lovely.

Hair dresser? Are they those people who wave scissors, try to wash your hair while you lean back over a very uncomfortable sink and try to engage you in small talk? Not visited one of those in a very long time. I just aim to wash it and make it slightly less frizzy by applying something randomly picked up in a mad panic after staring at the shelves in the supermarket for far too long trying to make head or tail of all the serums and stuff.

You look great.

Wash and blow dry from hairdresser. Will make hair all swishy and shiny.

Remembered I have an "updo pin" that comes out for extra special occasions. Really easy to use, you just shove it in and it magically holds your hair in a twist. mine has a decorative bit on it though so it looks pretty too.

You look great :) and .